Our featured guest on our weekly twitter chat #SpiritChat this week is Denise Buchman (@DeniseBuchman), founder of #couragecafe on twitter. We will discuss “Creative #Courage” with Denise on January 25th at 9amET. Denise has written a beautiful blog post about her journey, and the creativity it required of her, to discover and live with courage. Please read, comment, share, and join us. Thank you! ~ Kumud
Courage – by Denise Buchman for #SpiritChat
Courage: (noun) the ability to do something that frightens one, strength in the face of pain or grief.
“bravery, courageousness, pluck, valor, fearlessness, intrepidity, nerve, daring, audacious, bold, grit, heroism, gallant, spunk, moxie”
When I look back on the trail I have tread, it’s actually hard to believe I was as scared or confused or as uncertain as I was….yet I still rocked it! How? Because I had to dig deep and use insane courage to detach from others and learn to believe in myself and love myself no matter what mistakes were made along the way and what others perceived of me from the outside.
The place I was searching and seeking for ALL my life was a higher connection to self. I always knew it was to a connection with my Higher Power, I just didn’t know who or what that was for me.
No one in my professional circles knew of my family background, yet, I kept running into people who suggested a program called “Al Anon”. After three totally different people mentioned this, it was a sign to me that I needed to learn more. So I found a meeting in 2010, and never looked back. Most do not know this, but my family is full of alcoholics, both sides, cousins and my ex-husband. All functional, but there is a life of patterns that we learn and take on behaviors and thinking of self that are very distorted ways of thinking. Because of my ex-husband, my children are children of an alcoholic and it’s a cycle I was determined to break by learning about it and opening up myself.
This took me to what I was seeking – closer relationship to a Higher Power. For me its God and The Universe. I always thought I was working on myself but really I would “put out a fire” in my life’s current situation and move on…..never really getting to the core authentic self with my true authentic feelings and validating them. I feared to go to inside for what I would find. That took insane courage. Hence my affair with courage in all things in life became my passion!
From an early age, I developed a tremendous fear of making mistakes. No one would know this on the outside – I made decisions and had many successes. However, they were made not from a place of feelings, self, heart ~ but what would “look good”, “be best for others” ~ not centered from me.
My yearning to have a higher connection with something greater than me was not taught in my childhood by my parents. The message was, on a good day when they wanted to impress the Jones’s, we went to Sunday School and other weeks taking the day off. Mixed messages became a thread in my childhood and followed me to my teenage years, to my own life. I too was giving mixed messages to others because I myself was a mess inside!
Courage is what we need to find a method, a process to live from inside out!
“Harvest the Courage to be You”
I think we have it ALL wrong. For example…..find a job that pays well……how can this work if you don’t know yourself? Authenticity is what people buy both professionally and personally.
I spoke on a panel of women in business who were dead inside and needed courage to change.
Three things I shared:
- How to be Grateful and Not Fearful (writing a grateful email changed my life)
- Courage to Detach from People Places and Things (shift awareness of self to do this)
- Walk Your Thinking – Making Your Own Path and Smiling All the Way
Doing all these on a daily consistent basis took insane courage…..especially for me who is a creative thinker and my mind, heart and soul is all over the place on most days!
When we trust ourselves we allow ourselves to lose everything in order to find our self…….that in its self is scary……aware of how we feel, pay the piper, whatever dues you think you have to pay to be your own authentic self and soar in life under your terms not someone else’s definition.
“It’s only by overcoming the fear of what our ideas may become
that we discover what we are really capable of “ #quote
Denise Buchman is founder of CORE “Consulting & Business Development LLC”. She is a Strategic Business Builder, Social Media Strategist, and Relationship Marketing Consultant. She hosts the #couragecafe twitter chat on Wednesdays at 8pm ET.