On Loving Discipline

Tags

awareness, freedom, spiritual practice, spirituality

Have you ever thought that “discipline” was invented to put you in a “box”, restrict your freedom(s), prevent you from living the life that you were meant to live? Have you ever met someone who is allergic to, inherently resists the idea of “discipline”?

In my younger (read ‘teenage’) years, discipline was perhaps the last thing that I wanted to be subject to. The very notion that I was expected to make my bed before I went to school seemed like an injustice. And the bus came at 6:30am! In high school, there was no ‘sleeping in’ on weekends. Saturday morning discipline included going shopping for milk, vegetables and groceries. Then there was the choice of dusting the furniture and bookcases, folding the laundry, putting away the washed dishes, setting the table for lunch or dinner, clearing the table after the meals, and much more. There was no escape from the seeming prison of chores and discipline. And I haven’t even talked about the take- no-prisoners attitude of discipline of some of the teachers at school!

But little was I to know that it was all preparation for what was to come my way a few years later. On my arrival as a graduate student in the USA, I realized that the ‘prison of discipline’ in my aunt’s home in India had taught me self-awareness. I was pleasantly surprised that I knew exactly what it would take to thrive on my own in a foreign land. I was able to work out chore-sharing with my roommates, just like I chore-shared with my cousins growing up. I quickly became aware that grocery shopping, laundry, dishes, cleaning, and even cooking, were all things that I was already good at. I actually began to fall in love with the idea of discipline!

After the self-awareness, I began to realize that freedom from the ‘prison of discipline’ had led me to the practice of self-discipline. The more I practiced it, the more my self-respect and self-image grew. With this growth, I found that I was comfortable in reaching out and making friends with all sorts of nationalities, and particularly the Americans. The land that I considered foreign, adopted me over time.

I believe that this two-way adoption happened because self-respect grew into self-love. It took self-love to keep an open mind to learning about western customs and culture, and harmonizing them with my eastern foundations.

As a parent and teacher, I began to consider that most of our parents’ (and teachers’) discipline is perhaps borne out of love for us. By by ‘drawing lines’ for us, they are teaching us self-awareness, self-respect, and self-love. Theirs, and now mine, is evolving into a loving discipline indeed.

Loving discipline manifests because true love takes some discipline, and true discipline takes a lot of love. What’s your take on ‘loving discipline’?

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. join us for our weekly #SpiritChat gathering – Sunday, Aug 11 at 9amET – I will bring some questions on discipline – with love 🙂 – Namaste. Kumud.

Nature’s discipline takes many forms – mostly of a loving nature!

The Heart’s Mystical Music

Tags

freedom, healing, music, spirituality

My very first deep friendship on Twitter was with Wayne Mcevilly. A fascinating gentleman who was as comfortable talking about Sanskrit and chanting SamaVeda shlokas, as he was fluid in playing Bach and Beethoven. It was his direct, honest, authentic as it gets approach to life that kept me around on Twitter when I was barely sure about what I was even doing on the medium. I finally got a hold of his “Bach Preludes and Fugues” on piano, and classical music entered my awareness. Among many phone conversations, I have learnt much from the journey of this musical mystic. (my interview with Wayne)

In his own unique way, Wayne taught me that we are all have a bit of the musical mystic within us. From the very dawn of our awareness in our mother’s wombs, sound is an integral part of our being. When sound find arrangement in pitch, tone, meter and such, it can become music. What are some of your earliest memories of sound or music?

The line between music and noise is often as fine as the tuning of our ears, the state of our mind, and the station of our heart. Indian classical music thus has different classes of musical compositions (called ragas), each of which are best suited to a particular time of the day, or even a particular season. Are there particular genres of music that you tune into, are attuned towards, depending on your mood or the state of your life?

One gift of music that has words attached to it is that we can be influenced by the words as much as we can be moved by the instruments. Some of the earliest mantras and shlokas (Sanskrit collections of syllables, words and hymns) were set to music in the form of meters – the most famous being the eight-step Gayatri. The rhythm of meters enabled for smriti (memorization) , and hence the ancient ‘scriptures’ were preserved through generations. What are some songs, prayers or hymns that were ‘passed on’ to you and have perhaps become an integral part of your life?

Beyond the external sound of music, of nature and the noise of our daily living, there is the incessant internal rhythm within us.

“Within ourselves is this eternal voice speaking of eternal freedom; its music is always going on!” – Vivekananda in ‘Practical Vedanta’

Our spiritual work, if we so choose to do it, is perhaps to take time, make time, to create a space of silence and stillness so that we can hear the musical rhythm that leads us to freedom. It is often in the company of fellow seekers (satsang) that we can find this space where we can do a ‘group sing-along’ (kirtan) in the presence of sound and light, embracing joy and bliss in our harmonious energies that contribute to the orchestra of community.

And who knows, someday, we may even learn, through sustained (inner) musical practice, we may discover anew some music, and even learn to sing some of the most difficult songs of life. And in the singing, we shall laugh and love life deeply again, as the healing spreads through our heart, and radiates to all who connect with us, in new radiant connections.

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. Join us for our weekly twitter chat – Sunday Aug 4 at 9amET in #SpiritChat – bring your favorite music to the kirtan and I will bring the tea and questions – Namaste – Kumud

A location, where my heart often tunes into its inner music…

On Being Irrational

Tags

irrational, mathematics, spiritual path

At 3:14pm on March 14th (3/14), two astronauts and one cosmonaut launched on a Soyuz rocket from a Russian cosmodrome, and began a roughly six hour trip to chase down the International Space Station (ISS) orbiting the earth. On the face of it, this was like many previous Soyuz launches over the past years on which US astronauts have been transported to the ISS.

However, this launch was unique in one particular way. Two of the three folks on this flight had been part of a virtually identical rocket launch five months or so ago. On that launch, things did not go as planned, and the launch abort safety system had to be activated a few minutes after liftoff. The abort system worked as planned, and both made a hard but safe landing back to earth.

Let me ask you a question. If you had been part of a “successful launch abort” (an euphemism for a ‘failure’ to reach orbit) five months ago, would you strap yourself into the very same launch system and be willing to be rocketed back into space? The rational being would evaluate the odds and say – heck no – or at least hesitate. However, human beings, and particularly space-faring cadets are not exactly known for being the most rational of beings.

In fact, most of us, even though we may not admit it, are largely irrational. It is perhaps this very irrationality, and the number PI, that NASA/RosCosmos were celebrating, when they picked 3:14pm on 3/14 for the launch date and time. The space-cadets probably did some probability theory mathematics and figured – what are the odds that they would be involved in two launch failures within five months? Probably zero. Sounds rational, doesn’t it?

Enough about space. Let’s get back to earth for a minute. We have all, at some point or another in our lives, made some very irrational choices. They might have seemed very rational in the moment, but in hindsight, not so logical. How many times have we (irrationally) told ourselves that the stock that we are holding on to, or the investment that is currently half its original value, will recover? Or that the book that we are lending out, the money that we are loaning to a family member or friend, will be returned to us? And so on.

We want to believe that we are rational beings, and that (more often than not) we make rational choices. We want to believe that we don’t have confirmation bias or proximity bias or survivorship bias. We want to believe that our beliefs are all of our own discovery, and that they will somehow lead us to truth. I believe all of those things, although I do often wonder – can truth and irrationality coexist?

The truth is that we are better at being irrational than being rational. I posit that irrationality is what becomes us more, and serves us better. Yes. We need the fuel of irrationality – some call it belief turning into faith. How else does a parent or teacher or coach, in the midst of the state of our world, hold out hope that they are working towards creating a better world? How else does a first-responder risk their own life to try and save the life of a total stranger?

Yes. We need irrationality to launch us out of analysis paralysis. We need to believe in the infinite, non-repeatable beauty of every moment of life. Just like all the infinite, non-repeating decimals of the irrational number that we science and math and life loving folks celebrate on pi(e) day. I can’t wait to see what 3.14.2020 will bring.

My irrational hope is that it will bring a lot of chocolate silk pie, and another successful rocket launch. How about you? What’s your hope?

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S1. Yes. The Soyuz MS-12 capsule caught up to the ISS and docked with it at 9:01pm on 3/14. Expedition 59 was ten minutes ahead of schedule.

P.S2. Why is PI irrational? It is because it cannot be expressed as a fraction. Yes, 22/7 is the common representation. But mathematically, it isn’t so. PI is actually equal to (four times the inverse tangent of 1 radian).

P.S3. Yes. We will be gathering in #spiritchat on Sunday, March 17th at 9amET on twitter. I look forward to asking some questions of all you irrational beings. And yes. There will be pie. Join us. And much gratitude to @Kalsekhar for the topic idea!

The Pi(e) Day Storm – is nature irrational?

The Heart’s Graduations

Tags

commencement, graduation, heart, heart matters

The end of May and the beginning of June is ‘graduation season’ in the USA. With the end of the school year, and the beginning of ‘summer break’, it is a long-standing tradition that celebrates the accomplishment of students, a felicitation of their teachers, and the support of family and friends. From kindergarteneners to post-graduates, beaming students march across stages across America in the finest of caps, gowns, tassels and other finery, as they are handed rolled-up diplomas that proclaim them as ‘graduates’.

The first ever graduation that I attended for myself, was for my doctorate degree. I had somehow managed to skip (or avoid!) every single one before then. In this case, having graduated in the December of the previous year, I was already working full-time. My thesis advisor called, and jokingly suggested that I would not receive that piece of sheepskin (is it really made of that?) if I did not show up for the ceremony. I am glad that I went, because it was a wonderful celebration indeed. I do not remember who the commencement speaker was, or what they said, but I will never forget the look of joy in my advisor’s eyes when I came off the stage with degree in hand.

He was always Dr. Ng to me. A young superstar professor from MIT, Presidential Rank Young Professor awardee, often chosen Professor of the Year by his students, and much more. In that moment, all I could say to him was, Thank you, Dr. Ng. But that day, he immediately corrected me and said – you can call me “Wing” from now on. You earned that right. He must have seen the reluctance in my eyes at this suggestion. So he quickly added – it’s okay. I insist.

For some reason, with that simple statement, I realized that four years of an academic-centric relationship (that began with him being my Master’s degree advisor), had now graduated to a heart-centric relationship. His attendance at the graduation parties thrown by my friends, an invitation to his home to have a special dinner with his family, and many other small and not-so-small touches were proof of that. He knew that I did not have any family (other than my younger cousin) present that week, so he turned from mere advisor to filling the role of proud-parent.

Now that I think about those events of twenty-five years ago, I ask myself. How do we know when our heart has graduated from kindergarten to the next grade? How do we discern when a relationship has transformed from a business- or academic- or task-centric to a heart-centric one? How do we measure the heart’s progress on the ‘education’ ladder, or can we? What would a high-school graduation in the heart’s curriculum entail for us? How about an undergraduate or graduate degree, or even a ‘doctorate’ in heart-centric education?

Perhaps all these questions are moot, for they all point to a single answer. Perhaps there are no discrete graduations in the heart, for the flow within it is more of a continuum. Perhaps the heart is beyond space and time, for it is on its journey of continuous involution.

In closing, I have to say thank you. To my parents who supported my coming here for graduate studies. To the community of Virginia Tech who held me gently. To my friends and teachers who believed in me despite all my flaws. And to the thesis advisor who took a gamble on a ‘fresh-off-of-the-boat’ graduate student from India after a five minute conversation, and provided and protected for him with all the resources at his disposal to make sure that he stayed the course.

Thank you, Wing for being a shining-heart example of the spirit of Ut Prosim.

Namaste,

Kumud

P.S. Please join us Sunday, June 3rd at 9amET on twitter in #SpiritChat – we will explore the topic of “The Heart’s Graduation”. I look forward to your sharing of some graduation thoughts with the community. Thank you!

The heart’s graduation perhaps happens in the willingness to cross bridges…