On Spiritual Stress Tests

Tags

challenges, mental health, resilience, spirituality, stress

What a difference a week makes. As we take steps out of the shadow of the pandemic, we find ourselves in an equally long, if not longer shadow — the shadow of another Cold War. The stress levels for millions of people went up so rapidly that one could feel the energy shift palpably towards fear, angst, anxiety, grief and disorientation. By Thursday evening, my mind was perturbed enough that I decided to shut off the faucet for a day or so. It was time to take a ‘mental health’ day and try and restore a bit of inner peace. 

I didn’t really imagine that this unraveling would be happening in our world, and happening so quickly. We live in a hyper-connected world of supply chains, social media, travel, food and energy dependencies, global partnerships and more. I have been asking some questions. How did we get here? How prepared are we to cope with these unprecedented stresses? How can we support each other better in these times?

It seems like we are all being given a stress test of the mind, the heart and our spirit. It reminds me of engineering school, where we used to perform stress tests on materials to determine their ‘breaking point’. There were tensile tests to measure stretchability, compression tests for crushability, torsion tests for bendability, and more. In medical science, we have stress tests to assess the heart’s health and functionality. What serves as a good stress test for our spirituality? 

A good stress test will stretch us, bend us, squeeze us, and maybe even break us in some ways.  It will make us question the efficacy of our practices, our ability to maintain inner peace.  On my ‘mental health day’, I shut down social media, the news stayed off, and I stayed off the internet at large. These steps helped stanch the inflow of stress-producing inputs, and yet, it wasn’t enough to reduce the effect of the accumulated peace-disrupting thoughts from the week gone by. I realized that I had to do some additional work to start restoring my equanimity. 

The work began by adopting a contemplative attitude, by asking questions. How could I, as an individual, influence the outcomes of the events that were stress-testing my mind? This contemplation led me to regain some focus of those things that I could indeed influence through my actions. Regaining focus led me to ask — what are my core, go-to practices, that best help to calm my mind? The four-fold answer was relaxation, meditation, inner cleaning, and prayer. Any and all of these practices work well to help me de-escalate stress when my mind is under attack. 

In the past twenty four hours, every time my mind has tended to wander off into the field of stress-inducing thoughts, I have used my awareness to pause and contemplate. What can I control? How many details do I need to know? Is this bit of information a consumer or a contributor to my vital life-force? With every contemplation, I develop a higher sensitivity to what is happening outside and within me. With greater sensitivity, I feel that I have better answers to respond to life’s stress tests. With better answers, I can create better outcomes, trust myself more, and orient my awareness towards peace, which creates happiness. 

Maybe the occasional stress-test is a good thing. Maybe I need to be grateful for the gifts of courage and resilience that stress tests bring with them? They can help me give me a reality check on how much spiritual progress I am really making! I don’t know of any curriculum that will prepare me for all of life’s stress tests. Awareness that love, truth and inner peace are all worth fighting for — perhaps remembering that is preparation enough?

Kumud

P.S. Join us for our weekly twitter chat with the #SpiritChat community, Sunday, March 6 at 9am ET / 2pm GMT. We hope to gather and share techniques to pass our stress-tests with flying colors. Namaste – @AjmaniK

Nature often uses symmetry to cope with her stresses… or so it appears…

On Discovering Essence

Tags

awareness, challenges, essence, essentials

What a difference a week makes. Last Saturday, an early morning storm with a lot of rain and electrical activity, tripped the breaker on the sump pump in the basement. The battery backup pump, which I thought was working, but hadn’t tested lately, didn’t work. The result was a minor flood in the finished basement, and a day of phone calls to insurance and restoration companies. Oh well, we needed new flooring and carpeting in the basement anyway.

Later that night, I evaluated how my wife and I responded to this “life event”. In the big scheme of things, we determined that we “got off easy”. Yes, it was inconvenient that our weekend had been disrupted, but at least we were home, and managed to minimize the damage (the main pump kicked right back on after I reset the switch :)). Yes, we needed to reevaluate our emergency systems in the basement and the home in general. And the greatest revelation from the evaluation?

We got a new perspective on what is truly essential, on what it is that defines our essence. There is a lot of ‘old stuff’ in our basement that has been with us through two moves over fifteen years. How much of it is essential to our lives? And, as I delved a bit deeper over the past week, I asked myself some more questions.

What is it that defines my essence? How do I know what is truly essential to me in a physical, mental, emotional and spiritual level? Some of the answers have been filtering through me, and my exploration with the question(s) continues.

On Earth Day (two days after ‘the event’), I went walking my favorite trails. I often find that I have to make a conscious choice to accept the invitation to walk. The call is often so strong that the car seems to self-drive itself to the park on the way to work. So, I deem that walking the forest is essential to me. I have found that there is prose and poetry that flows through me as son as I step onto the trails. Here’s a sample:

Find your trail and walk

She will welcome you with open arms

From the tiniest of flowers hugging crocuses

To the tallest of trees holding birdsong

Her gifts will shower down upon you

Amid the remembrance – that her greatest gift is birth…

So, one way to connect with our essence may be through those actions that bring us face to face with unmitigated peace and joy. The world around us recedes like the floodwaters after the storm, and we can feel the essence of the tiniest of flowers, the freshness of new greenery emerging, the calming presence of tall trees gently swaying in the breeze, the river gurgling by past the boulders in the valley where it has been flowing for millennia.

What is the essence of our mental state? Is it our intellect? Is it intelligence and our power of discernment? We all have thoughts that swirl like eddies, or the thoughts are stirred by fresh emotions that cause highs and lows? The temporary nature of their existence surely means that they cannot be essential, right?

Awareness of our mental and emotional essence can be unfolded for us in physical stillness. Being still is not easy for many of us. Stillness is an essential that often needs to be cultivated. That which makes us still gives us the opportunity to connect to higher awareness – we can become observers of our mental and emotional states. As observers, we can then find our essential That by saying – it is not this, it is not this.

Allow me to posit that once we have found the trail to our physical, mental and emotional essences, and know how to (re)connect with them, our heart is ready to receive the spiritual essence. The invitation to receive then comes through clearly. We then awaken every morning, ready to receive the essence with joy, peace, silence and stillness, as we watch the source of light reveal itself to us in our heart filled with love.

We arrive at the awareness that the same spiritual essence energizes all of us, gives us life, and yes, a return to a dry basement…

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. Join us Sunday, April 28 at 9amET as we resume our weekly twitter chat in #SpiritChat ~ I will bring the essential tea and cookies. I invite you to bring your favorite flavor of essence. Namaste – Kumud

The Gratitude Challenge

Tags

challenges, gratitude, spirituality, thankfulness, thanksgiving

If the number of blog posts that I have written about Thanksgiving are a good measure, then it is an open secret that this is my favorite American holiday. The confluence of many events after my arrival here in the fall for graduate studies, led to a heart-warning introduction to this family-first holiday of “giving thanks”. Even though the holiday itself was “all new” to me, the notion of giving thanks felt as old as the hills.

It reminded me of two words – the first being dhanyavaad – the formal expression of thanks in India. It is a combination of two words, dhanya, meaning blessed or most fortunate, and vaad meaning, an event or a happening. The second, somewhat informal word expressing thanks often used in India is shukriya – a combination of shu-bh meaning auspicious, and kriya meaning action or practice.

It ought to be no surprise that the words used in the expression of gratitude are similar across languages. The very sound of a heartfelt “thank you” or “gracias” or “merci” or “shukriya” is often music for our hearts. When the music of thanksgiving creates harmony, it brings joy to the giver and the receiver. So, with these apparent benefits, what possible challenge(s) could there be in the path of our practice of gratitude?

The first challenge is that we are much more open to giving thanks to others than receiving it. We somehow carry around the notion that we are perhaps undeserving of others’ gratitude. The second notion is that “no thanks is due” because we are simply “doing our duty” and that we are best off doing it without any expectation of reward and such. The third notion is that if we accept it from them, we are somehow bound into reciprocity. Do you identify with any of these notions of receiving gratitude?

The second challenge is that we are unsure of the who, why, how, when and where of giving thanks to others. In a world where our offline relationships are getting lesser and lesser time, space and engagement, we are perhaps losing the opportunity to practice the art of saying thanks. Or maybe we don’t have enough role models in our communities who give thanks with grace and unfettered joy. Who was a role model for “giving thanks” for you? For me, it was my maternal grandmother. I don’t know that I remember her saying “dhanyavad” or “shukriya” very often, but her actions spoke volumes. A slight smile, a gentle tilt of the head, a leaning in during conversation- they all felt like she was giving gratitude with every action, in every engagement.

The third challenge in our gratitude practice is the notion that we don’t have “enough”. The great irony that “Black Friday” comes earlier and earlier every year may not be lost on many of us. To my mind, it is simply an outsized attempt to somehow convince us of the “lack” in our lives.

But I have news for you. The first part of the Heartfulness meditation practice is “relaxation”. The intent is to creates awareness of our body, in the form of a slow scan beginning from the toes, traveling through several parts of the lower and upper body, to the crown of the head. As I did the relaxation this morning, I became aware, and thankful, for the mere presence and good health of every single one of my body’s internal and external organs. The gratitude that swept through me after I was done, was a bit overwhelming. Try it. It will only take a few minutes, and you can do it wherever you are. Repeat this ‘relaxation into gratitude’ exercise often, and it will become a portable resource that you can take with you.

So, here we are. Thanksgiving is here again. Maybe we will continue to work our challenges, of giving, of receiving, of (lack of? too much?) abundance. So that the day of, and the days before and after Thanksgiving will bring us a series of opportunities to experience dhanyavaad or gratitude-filled interactions.

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. Join the #SpiritChat community on Twitter for our weekly chat – Sunday, November 18 at 9amET / 730pm India ~ shukriya and Happy Thanksgiving!

Challenging Traditions

Tags

challenges, heritage, legacy, letting go, traditions

As one holiday season comes to a close (my inherited Indian traditions) and another one draws nearer (my adoptedm American traditions), I find myself in a somewhat unique positon to compare and contrast the two. At every major Indian festival, I am reminded of some of the traditions of my parents, grandparents, friends and extended family that I grew up with before I moved to the USA. I do have to admit that their color fades ever so imperceptibly over the years.

Over the three decades that I have lived in the USA, I have created a few (holiday) traditions (of my own), to blend with the ones that I inherited. I do have to admit that it is a lot of work to create new, sustainable and meaningful traditions. Only time will tell how these newly created traditions will stand up to the test of our increasingly mobile and fluid landscape of friendships and relationships.

Traditions need not be exclusively associated with holidays, festivals and celebrations. As I evaluate the traditions that have stuck with me the longest, a few salient qualities come to the fore. The ones that have stood the test of space and time are those that promote simplicity, purity, cleanliness and respect in action. I observe them not for tradition’s sake, but because they make a meaningful, positive impact on the quality of my everyday life.

The tradition of silence with which my grandparents went about their daily business, without any fuss or complaint, inspires me to do the same. The reverence that my mother held for cleanliness in all her actions was often the subject of friendly banter – nobody could drink from her mug of tea, use her pillow or blanket, bring shoes into her kitchen, or… you get the idea – and yet it became a tradition in purity that many of us now observe with a smile. Have you inherited any ‘quirks’ of your parents and grandparents that have now become ‘traditions’ for you?

Perhaps the greatest value of traditions is in their ability to lend some measure of consistency and stability to our life-systems. As we face new, and often unforeseen, challenges, we can lean on our traditions for support. At the same time, it is prudent for us to ask questions of, to challenge those traditions that may be past their ‘use-by’ date in our life. How is any meaningful social, economic and spiritual change going to be effected if we calcify our hearts in the name of ‘tradition’?

Hence, the notion of ‘challenging traditions’. They create some challenges. The need/want to pass on and share as many of our inherited traditions. The need/want to let go, with love, of the ones that create more problems than they solve. The need/want to create some new ones with our new neighbors, friends and family. Can you think of any more challenges associated with ‘traditions’?

In closing, I invite you to share your thoughts on ‘challenging traditions’ with us in #SpiritChat on twitter – Sunday, November 12th at 9amET/2pmUTC/730pmIST. We will continue our ‘tradition’ of conversation over tea and cookies in the virtual world. Namaste,

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. As I write this, it is a beautiful Saturday afternoon in November. November 11th, to be exact. Armistice Day. Remembrance Day. Veterans Day. A day that marks a traditional, solemn observance of respect and gratitude for those who have fought and served to preserve, promote and promulgate the freedom(s) of many. This is one tradition that is surely worth keeping. Thank you, Veterans!

My walks in the forest are developing into a newly created ‘morning’ tradition for me…

Life’s Facets and Challenges

Tags

challenges, choices, practice

The final event for this year for our small (yet growing) group of folks (Vedanta Center of Cleveland) was a Thursday evening conversation titled “Facing Life’s Challenges” by Swami Sarvadevananda of Southern California. His message about ‘challenges’ was conveyed with remarkable directness, humor, strength of spirit and practical advice that I share with you below.

1. Acceptance. We are best served by accepting the challenge head on – whatever we may perceive it to be. Acceptance empowers us to use our energy to deal with the challenge instead of wasting energy in fighting its existence. Once we accept that challenges are inevitable, and that they are signs that we are alive, we can put our best energies forward in facing them. This is the first facet.

2. Identification. Is the challenge at a physical level, a mental level, or at both levels? Yes, there are challenges that come our way beyond the physical and mental, but let us talk about these two levels for now. If it is a purely physical challenge, say injury or disease, are we making it worse by adding inordinate suffering to pain? We often transfer the pain of a physical challenge to the mental level, and recovery takes much longer than necessary. This is the second facet.

3. Perspective. When faced with a new challenge, our tendency is to believe that this temporary challenge is somehow permanent. We tend to forget all the previous, more daunting challenges that we may have overcome. We may even compound or exaggeratedly ‘advertise’ our adversity in order to perhaps attract immediate sympathy. How does such an attitude – a loss of perspective or a distorted view of the challenge – really help us face the challenge? So, we need to ‘keep our head about us’ and keep our perspective. This is the third facet.

4. Blame and Change. We often find great solace in assigning blame – our friends, our family, neighbors, co-workers, politicians, religious leaders… the list is long. Somehow, our challenge is ‘their’ fault. If only That person would change Their behavior or actions or thoughts, we would not be facing this challenge. How often it is that we are quick to forget from our heart all the good things they may have done for us or said about us! And how often it is that we hold for inordinately long periods of time in our heart the smallest of slights or perceived insults? What if we were to reduce blame and change our own selves? This is the fourth facet.

5. Service. Is our current challenge really that big? How does it compare with the challenges of others in the world around us? How about we take the focus off of our (often petty) challenges and use that very same energy to serve those who are much worse off than ourselves? This is one of the easiest ways to forget about our own pain – serve those less fortunate than us. This is the fifth facet.

6. Faith. We accept, do our best, with a good attitude and perspective, stop blaming, change ourselves, serve others – and yet, the challenge remains. Now what? We may need to humble ourselves to the fact that there are some challenges beyond our physical, mental (and other) capabilities. We may need to ask for help to deal with the challenge. We may need to surrender our excessive reliance on the I. This is the sixth facet.

I share the above facets with you in the hope that one or more of them will come in handy as you face your next challenge. As we polish each facet, the inner diamond becomes more luminous, more radiant. And the next big challenge will be met by us with a brilliant sparkle!

Namaste,

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. Join us in #SpiritChat on twitter – Sunday, October 29th at 9amET/1pmUTC. Share some facets of your challenges, and your tools and techniques in dealing with them. Thank you!

Chat Summary: https://storify.com/ajmanik/life-s-facets-and-challenges