Ingredients for Happiness

Tags

connection, fun, happiness, joy, purpose, satisfaction, volunteering

Every single muscle in my body seemed to be hurting. In addition, I was made aware of muscles that I didn’t even know I had. That’s what the better part of a day spent hauling mulch and power-washing does to a body used to sitting in front of a computer most days.

And yet, I was brimming with a feeling of happiness. Why? I had just spent an entire, beautiful autumn day working the annual ‘Day of Service’ at my daughter’s school. I wasn’t happy simply because i had spent the day volunteering. It was a combination of a few key ingredients.

According to Arthur Brooks in ‘how to build a life’, most people experience happiness when three ingredients come together. The first ingredient is Fun! Was volunteering fun for me? Absolutely! The entire school, including students, faculty and staff was out and about doing various service projects. It was fun watching them in action, and it was even more fun working alongside my wife as we got covered in dirt and grime and water fairly quickly. And who doesn’t have fun with power tools that make work easy?

Do you remember the last time you had Fun? When was it, and what were you doing?

The second ingredient is Satisfaction. Is volunteering satisfactory? Absolutely yes! After a full week of not-so-satisfying intellectual gymnastics at ‘work’, a day of manual labor was immensely satisfying. It was a sort of ‘deep cleansing’ that the brainbox appreciated greatly by the middle of the day. By the end of the day, my brain was so deeply flushed that I had forgotten how to spell my name. Not really, but you get the idea. I was thoroughly satisfied with the results of the work done, even though I knew that it would have to be done again in a year. The satisfying feeling would pass, like water through a colander, and yet, it felt good to experience it in the moment. It was like a cup of good tea!

When was the last time you felt deeply satisfied? What brought on the feeling?

The third ingredient for happiness is Purpose. We often ask the big questions like what is our life’s purpose, why are we here and so on. These are good questions to ask because they give us a framework with which to align our actions. I hadn’t imagined that a day of manual labor would feed my sense of purpose, but the fact that there were so many other folks on campus working together towards a common goal, made it so. At the end of the day, it surely felt like I had done something meaningful and purposeful. The years of black grime on the concrete walls of the auditorium had been forever banished!

The combination of the three ingredients of fun, satisfaction and purpose created happiness. I think there was a fourth ingredient that was the cherry on the happiness cake – connection. I got to see and chat with so many teachers from previous grades, staff I hadn’t seen in a while due to the pandemic, and more. I heard wedding stories, birth and death stories, college graduation stories, and much more. It all felt good and my heart was smiling by the end of the day.

I didn’t go to seek happiness today at the ‘Day of Service’. It went thinking I would ‘serve’ in the hours before lunch and then ‘work work’ after lunch. I ended up staying the whole day because I could feel my happiness tank getting filled, even as my physical tank was getting drained. The result? One of the happiest days of the week.

I encourage you to reflect on your happiness creators. When is the last time you were having fun, feeling satisfied, doing something purposeful and creating connections, all at the same time? Was that when you felt you were face-to-face with happiness? Or are there other, different ingredients that create happiness for you?

Kumud

P. S. Join us for our weekly community gathering, Sunday Sep 26 at 9amET / 630pm India in #spiritchat on Twitter. Share your keys to happiness with us. Namaste ~ @AjmaniK

Autumn Mums changing color… spreading happiness

Raising Community Spirit

Tags

community, connection, healing, health

As I sat at my writing window observing the community dynamics of the variety of birds in the backyard on a chilly spring Saturday morning, there was much to learn. The blackbirds take their positions on the fence and the cattails. The robins take position in the thrush and the grass. The hawks have their nest at the highest point in a nook among the trees. The chickadees sing in the pine trees along the fence line. So much diversity, and yet they have figured out how to mostly live in harmony as a community. They seem to live in a manner where all of them can make nests, grow families, and thrive for the season. On more than one occasion, I have even seen blackbirds sounding the alarm and escorting the hawks back into their nests when they get too close for comfort.

The community in my backyard reminds me of one of my grandmother’s favorite expression, with which she would end every prayer session… sarve bhavantU sukhinAH – it simply means, may we act in a way so as to spread peace and prosperity to all. On the face of it, this seems like a fairly easy way for us to live our lives. However, when faced with tough choices which negatively impact our lifestyle, our livelihood or the health of our immediate family, we may tend towards making decisions which may negatively impact our communities. 

She was so looking forward to this weekend, to playing back to back volleyball tournaments on Saturday and  Sunday. She loves the sport, her team, her coaches and everything about the community that surrounds it. On Wednesday, her coach texted that the tournaments may be cancelled because the venue (a local community college) was being shut down. The initial disappointment was quickly reversed as a following text said that they would be allowed to play (as they are not a college team). Confusion led to uncertainty and some anxiety. However, on Thursday, the state’s Governor gave clarity by banning all gatherings of a hundred of all more people. Game over. 

Schools closed for three weeks. Science centers, museums, nature centers, local libraries. All closed till further notice. At first glance, it all  seemed a bit ‘over the top’. And yet, once we talked as a family about how ‘flatten the curve’ works, we understood. By  limiting person to person contact, we slow the exponential spread. In turn, this gives the health system and its workers a fighting chance to treat those who are most at risk. In my three decades of living in the USA, other than the ‘coming together’ after 9/11, this is perhaps the widest action of community solidarity that I have seen.

So, as we adjust to our new ‘home boundedness’, what we can do to mitigate the sense of isolation we may eventually feel? I thought back to grandma’s invocation of sarve bhavantU sukhinAH. In times of crisis, she often would choose to do less, rather than more. This was her way of creating space for others, for community. She would have advised:

Eat less, drink more (water). 

Stream less. Read more.

Frown less. Smile more. 

Hoard less. Share more.

Talk less. Listen more.

Sit less. Walk more.

Less is more. 

It is the wisdom of our elders, our mentors and those whom we trust to speak truth to us that can raise our spirit. When our spirit is that of calm, instead of that of anxiety, we become conduits of spreading calm instead of anxiety. So, how do we bring calm to our heart, mind, body and spirit? The answer depends on the individual. What brings you calm? Regardless of the answer, the health of the community depends on the health of each one of us. As long as we radiate higher purpose, our actions will be  infused with the power to virtually hold on to each other, and keep our spirits soaring through any crisis.

Our true power is in the current that flows through us, and our community. Our power directs our actions towards a greater purpose. Our selfless actions inspire our spirits, and the result is the health and well-being of all.

Kumud

P.S. Join us for our weekly twitter chat, Sunday March 15 at 9amET / 1pm GMT / 630pm India in #SpiritChat – we will raise each other spirits over tea, coffee, fruit and cookies as we gather online and engage in some Q & A – just like we’ve been doing for so many years 🙂 – @AjmaniK

 

Flowers – holding on to each other – raising each other up!

Serendipity – by @womenandbiz

Tags

connection, serendipity, spirituality

The Spirit of Serendipity

This week’s topic of #SpiritChat is Serendipity. I’ve been considering what is the connection between serendipity and awareness, serendipity and alignment with our souls, serendipity and growth, serendipity and self-love, for a while. And I wanted to share a personal multi-layer serendipitous journey that became possible thanks to SpiritChat, and all the other aforementioned “ingredients”.

I have been a participant of #SpiritChat Twitter chat on Sundays, created and hosted by Kumud Ajmani, @AjmaniK, since 2011. That same year, Jennifer Rowley, @liberateforlife, one of the chat’s participants, noticed that we were both living in NY at the time, and suggested we met for coffee. We did and have been dear friends since. You can learn more about Jenn’s work at http://www.fab55.com/.

A couple of years later, she introduced me to her sister Lara Simmons, @be_and_become, who lives in Seattle. Although Lara and I had never met in person, we became accountability partners, friends, and have been connecting every Friday for the past four years. Lara has published two inspiring books since, you can learn more at http://www.larasimmons.net/.

Last August, Lara mentioned that her husband Mark was coming to NY with his brother Pat, and she introduced us via text.I met them at a restaurant in NY, and a few days later, we walked the Brooklyn Bridge together. Since the first night, I noticed how kind hearted, open and wonderful they were, and wanted to stay in touch. Pat felt the same way and invited me for dinner the following week, and we connected. We have been together in a committed, long distance, relationship since then.

Both of us are grateful for the serendipitous way we met, and we are deeply happy together. I made it to Seattle in January, met Lara in person for the first time, and it was truly special.I also believe that there is much more than serendipity at play always. If Jenn hadn’t invited me for coffee, if I didn’t stay connected with Lara, if Pat, who didn’t know who I was, had decided to let only Mark meet me… If I hadn’t relentlessly kept practicing self-love (work in progress), and opening myself up for a loving relationship… If I hadn’t said yes, to myself and to Pat… If Kumud hadn’t created #Spiritchat… If I hadn’t found out about it… and the list goes on…

None of the incredible experiences we are having would have unfolded. Each are serendipitous moments that led to today.

This journey is only one of several wonderful relationships I have nurtured through #Spiritchat, and I’m grateful to Kumud and to all the weekly participants of the chat. What other serendipitous and ripple effects has the chat made possible, and could still create?

– Elisa Balabram (@womenandbiz)

Please join Elisa as she steps up to host our weekly #SpiritChat on Sunday, March 25th at 9amET, and share your stories about serendipity ~ I am sure that it is going to be a wonderful chat that will create many more possibilities… thank you!

A Spirit of ReInvention

Tags

connection, evaluation, reinvention, renewal

Some say that time is just an illusion. It is something that we humans have ‘created’ so that the world operates in some semblance of order. It is hard to imagine the chaos that would result if we were to abandon the concept of time in the external world…

And that is perhaps why the idea of a “New Year” raises so many possibilities in our heart, mind and spirit…

The New Year is a great opportunity for us, if we choose it to be so, “to wipe the slate clean”. There is a certain sense of “forgiveness in the air” around this time of the year. There is a certain sense of freedom, an allowedness that we give ourselves, to walk the path of reinvention. So, how may one prepare for this “reinvention walk”? What “practices” or “habits” may we need to add, subtract or even reestablish to make our reinventiona walk “successful”? Where may we look for the support and tools that will sustain our reinvention?

The first step is preparation. Preparation can begin with evaluation. Maybe we can make a list, a review, of the top ten “accomplishments” of the past year. Accomplishments would be actions, events or habits that raised our inner energetic vibration, increased our inner state of cleanliness, helped our heart’s light shine brighter. It could be a single action or a group of sustained actions that created a new habit that we can take forward with us. Let us look at ourselves with kind eyes as we evaluate. It is good preparation for the next step. One of my accomplishments this year was to do an end-of-the-year physical exam, and take charge of my health. How about you?

The second step is renewal. As we evaluate, we may become aware of those actions, events and habits that either increase or decrease our heart’s energy level. This awareness can help us identify our “positive” and “negative” energy triggers. In this step, we may also rediscover some of four previously beneficial habits that “fell by the wayside” due to lack of practice. For me, daily walking in nature was one habit from 2016 that suffered in 2017. I am aiming to “renew” this “positive energy” trigger in the upcoming year. How about you? What triggers are you going to reinforce? Which ones are you ready to discard? Which “old” habits are you going to bring back and renew?

The third step is connection. Our first two steps of (self)evaluation and renewal can be energetically facilitated those who are positively vested in our reinvention. The spirit of the sangha, of (re)connection, is elevated within us by our friends, our families, our coaches, our communities. We may posit that we walk the fastest on our reinvention path when we walk alone. That may indeed be true. But even in our solitude, our solitary walk, we are connected.

We are sustained by the earth that holds us gently, the wind that breathes life into us, the waters that grow the seed, the great sky that inspires us, and the light of the suns, moons and stars that guides us. They are our sangha. Connection of the heart, with their heart, through our heart, connects us to the sangha. Will we recommit to create time and space in our daily practice to connect with heart-filling energy? What could be bring forward from our evaluation step to broaden our practice of daily, inner (re)connection? How could we work with our awareness from the renewal step to deepen our (re)connection?

Preparation. Renewal. Connection. In my heart, this adds up to ReInvention. The choice is given us, to avail the simple math, to reinvent ourselves – not just at the threshold of a new year, but at the threshold of every dawn. May we pause, reflect and choose with the freedom that true awareness, mindfulness, kindness and love that flows in our heart in this present moment.

Namaste,

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. We will bring in the New Year of 2018 with reinvention in our final chat of 2017 – Sunday, December 31st 2017 at 9amET/2pmUTC on twitter. Please join us! Thank you for all your support of the community, our virtual sangha in 2017. How would you reinvent #SpiritChat in 2018? If you have ideas or suggestions, please share in the comments. Namaste – Kumud.

A full week of vacation in December 2017 gave plenty of opportunity, time and space for rest, renewal and reinvention – particularly at sunrise…

On Gratitude Through Connection

Tags

connection, gratitude, spirituality

At the beginning of November, I proposed that all the four chats in this month be based on the theme of ‘thankfulness and gratitude’. In the wake of the election results of the US presidential election that have created disbelief, turmoil and despair for one side, and perhaps an equal amount of disbelief and (muted) celebration for the other, I believe that there is a great opportunity for refocusing on gratitude through connection. How grateful are we truly for what has transpired? How connected or disconnected are we from the reality that surrounds us?

Many thoughts on connection have percolated through my heart and mind. Some of them have come during my walking soujourns, while others have arrived during my meditation practice. I share some of them with you, with much humility, on the premise that you may connect with one or more threads, and weave your own tapestry of gratitude. I remain grateful to be the conduit for what follows…

• Connect with sound, light, touch, color, movement, silence and stillness – write, paint, dance, compose, read, meditate – reconnect with your heart and soul, and be grateful for all your talents.

• Connect with the heart of those on the ‘other side of the fence’. Travel outside your echo chamber and listen to their voices – truly listen without the labels.

• Be a bridge person and tear down the wall(s) that may disconnect you from empathy, compassion and joy. Feel the gratitude flow through you as you do this.

• Connect with nature, with children, with pets, with pet-projects, with plans that you have put on hold, and with whatever returns you to your creative and creating mode. That is the true celebration of gratitude.

• Connect with volunteering, the under-privileged, the nursing homes, the senior centers, the libraries, the homeless and women’s shelters, the soup kitchens, the Habitats for Humanity and more – nobody can take that power of connection away from you. The more you do this, the more it is that gratitude will exponentially grow.

• Make a music or movie or reading playlist, an activity playbook of writing or gardening or cooking or… Make two of each. One for the happy times (joy) AND the other for the not-so-happy ones (melancholy). Connect to the joy playlist and playbook when in excess melancholy, and connect to melancholy when in excess joy, or as you deem appropriate. And then, one day when you have learnt to mostly be in equanimity, you will find that the two playlists and playbooks have merged into One. You have arrived at, connected with your center, and more importantly – you have learned to stay there. At the center.

• It is when we go outside of ourselves to go beyond, past the surface waves that keep us bound to our familiar but limited shores of temporary victory and defeat, that we train ourselves to connect – and stay connected – with the permanence of the deep sea of gratitude…

• Connect with ‘those people’ – the plumber, the electrician, the housekeeper, the landscaper, the delivery man, the older neighbor couple across the street, the veteran next door, and more. When they come into your space, make them feel that they matter. Offer a big smile, a cup of coffee, a small tip at the end of their job, offer to blow the leaves in their yard, give them a ride to their doctor’s appointment… Any and every random act of kindness elevates the level of connection, of gratitude.

• Why do we need to connect? The heart is the space of the infinite – and the infinite cannot be whole if the two circles that join to form the union choose to remain separated and split – it is in their connection in the middle, in their slightest of touches, that the two individual circles can form the infinite – and then there is a quantum jump – all possibilities of connection between zero and infinity become possible…

• How do we reconnect despite our ‘differences’? We can choose to go from an infinitesimal separation to infinite connection with a very slight opening of our closed circles. We may have to stretch and contort a bit to accommodate the other (circle). Visualize the infinity symbol in 3-D space where there is a continuum created by a single line curving around upon itself. On the other hand, we can also choose to stay infinitely disconnected while being in infinitesimal proximity ~ people living in the same house who are in physical proximity but emotionally on separate planets, two neighbors in disagreement, two nations within a single nation, and so on. More often than not, it only takes a very slight movement towards each other’s heartspace for us to ‘break the disconnect’ and bring us into that field of attraction where we can find renewed connection. Find that activation energy. We all have it within us.

That is all. I hope that you will read and reflect on some of the above. I am grateful for my connection with each and every one of you. Every interaction with you has helped me move, even if ever so slightly, towards the center. Towards the heart. Towards the infinite possibilites that love unveils.

Namaste,

Kumud @AjmaniK

Do connect with the #SpiritChat community on twitter – Sunday, November 13th at 9amET/2pmUTC. I know that many, including me, will be grateful for your shared wisdom. Thank you.

Gratitude through Connection!