On Facing Our Fears ~ with @HolisticSailor

Tags

courage, fear, spiritchat, spirituality

The subject of fear comes up in almost evey single #SpiritChat conversation, every single week. It often shows up as one of the responses to a question along the lines of “what prevents us from doing or becoming…”. So, when I invited our guest for this week, Tara (@HolisticSailor) to pick a topic for this week’s chat, I was glad that she chose to talk about “Facing Fear”. In her cover story on the subject, Tara writes…

Fear is uncomfortable but its avoidance can keep you from living a full life. Do we use fear as a crutch to not have to take responsibility for certain aspects of our lives? Or is it simply a result of wanting to control our environment and the people in it so that we are not faced with any unexpected situations?

Tara asks some great questions in her cover post, and tells a great personal story about fear and its consequences in her life as a sailor, an outdoor hiker, and her day to day life. I invite you to read her story about “Facing Fear”. After you read her story, visit with your own fears (you have some, don’t you?!), and put them in the context of your life right now. Then, join us for our weekly conversation on twitter as I host Tara as a special guest on the topic. Here are some questions that we may examine during our 9amET/2pmUTC hour on Sunday January 10th in #SpiritChat :

• Where does fear live in your body? How does it manifest?
• What has made you fearful in the past? How did you overcome?
• What does fear enable? How can it move us towards (loving) action?
• “Feel the fear and do it anyway…” ~ Agree or disagree? Why or why not?
• What is one lingering, lifelong fear that you would like to face, overcome?

Some resources on the subject of Fear, collated and shared by @HolisticSailor :

• Post  traumatic stress (PTSD)
• Five things I have learned about fear by Jill Richardson 
• The Mysteries of Fear – TedTalk by Lisa Cypers  Kamen – TEDxMalibu

Here is an introduction to Tara, in her own words (Also see http://holisticsailor.com for a lot more!)

My varied experiences and careers are like different coloured strands of yarn which are being woven into something that resembles art. I live on beautiful Vancouver Island, BC, Canada and blog about my experiences sailing and my knowledge of natural health. I currently work in higher education and am also a certified reflexologist, aromatherapist and Reiki Master. Oh, and I am writing a book.

Hope to see you on Sunday. Have no fear – there will be plenty of tea and cookies for all 🙂

Kumud @AjmaniK

On Creative Courage

Tags

courage, creativity, spiritchat, spirituality

Our featured guest on our weekly twitter chat #SpiritChat this week is Denise Buchman (@DeniseBuchman), founder of #couragecafe on twitter. We will discuss “Creative #Courage” with Denise on January 25th at 9amET. Denise has written a beautiful blog post about her journey, and the creativity it required of her, to discover and live with courage. Please read, comment, share, and join us. Thank you! ~ Kumud

Courage – by Denise Buchman for #SpiritChat

By Definition

Courage: (noun) the ability to do something that frightens one, strength in the face of pain or grief.

“bravery, courageousness, pluck, valor, fearlessness, intrepidity, nerve, daring, audacious, bold, grit, heroism, gallant, spunk, moxie”

When I look back on the trail I have tread, it’s actually hard to believe I was as scared or confused or as uncertain as I was….yet I still rocked it! How? Because I had to dig deep and use insane courage to detach from others and learn to believe in myself and love myself no matter what mistakes were made along the way and what others perceived of me from the outside.

The place I was searching and seeking for ALL my life was a higher connection to self. I always knew it was to a connection with my Higher Power, I just didn’t know who or what that was for me.

No one in my professional circles knew of my family background, yet, I kept running into people who suggested a program called “Al Anon”. After three totally different people mentioned this, it was a sign to me that I needed to learn more. So I found a meeting in 2010, and never looked back. Most do not know this, but my family is full of alcoholics, both sides, cousins and my ex-husband. All functional, but there is a life of patterns that we learn and take on behaviors and thinking of self that are very distorted ways of thinking. Because of my ex-husband, my children are children of an alcoholic and it’s a cycle I was determined to break by learning about it and opening up myself.

This took me to what I was seeking – closer relationship to a Higher Power. For me its God and The Universe. I always thought I was working on myself but really I would “put out a fire” in my life’s current situation and move on…..never really getting to the core authentic self with my true authentic feelings and validating them. I feared to go to inside for what I would find. That took insane courage. Hence my affair with courage in all things in life became my passion!

From an early age, I developed a tremendous fear of making mistakes. No one would know this on the outside – I made decisions and had many successes. However, they were made not from a place of feelings, self, heart ~ but what would “look good”, “be best for others” ~ not centered from me.

My yearning to have a higher connection with something greater than me was not taught in my childhood by my parents. The message was, on a good day when they wanted to impress the Jones’s, we went to Sunday School and other weeks taking the day off. Mixed messages became a thread in my childhood and followed me to my teenage years, to my own life. I too was giving mixed messages to others because I myself was a mess inside!

Courage is what we need to find a method, a process to live from inside out!

“Harvest the Courage to be You”

I think we have it ALL wrong. For example…..find a job that pays well……how can this work if you don’t know yourself? Authenticity is what people buy both professionally and personally.

I spoke on a panel of women in business who were dead inside and needed courage to change.
Three things I shared:

1. How to be Grateful and Not Fearful (writing a grateful email changed my life)
2. Courage to Detach from People Places and Things (shift awareness of self to do this)
3. Walk Your Thinking – Making Your Own Path and Smiling All the Way

Doing all these on a daily consistent basis took insane courage…..especially for me who is a creative thinker and my mind, heart and soul is all over the place on most days!

When we trust ourselves we allow ourselves to lose everything in order to find our self…….that in its self is scary……aware of how we feel, pay the piper, whatever dues you think you have to pay to be your own authentic self and soar in life under your terms not someone else’s definition.

“It’s only by overcoming the fear of what our ideas may become
that we discover what we are really capable of “ #quote

Denise Buchman is founder of CORE “Consulting & Business Development LLC”. She is a Strategic Business Builder, Social Media Strategist, and Relationship Marketing Consultant. She hosts the #couragecafe twitter chat on Wednesdays at 8pm ET.

Practical Spirituality – On Courage and Commitment

Tags

commitment, courage, spirit, spiritchat

The month of May in our weekly #SpiritChat conversations on twitter included the topics of diversity, mothering and harmony. As I look back through the discussions, one word that came up very often in the context of “what holds us back” from expressing ourselves to our full potential is ~ fear. In fact, fear represents a wide range of feelings, emotions and beliefs that can limit us, and our spiritual growth, if we do not practice how to understand and control it.

So, how do we understand and control fear? One possible way is to get familiar with, and practice courage. For courage can be an antidote to fear when invoked at the appropriate time. The #SpiritChat community did have a conversation about courage (May 2012) which examined fundamental questions like “what is courage?” and more. The dimension that we can add to the previous discussion is in the context of “Practical Spirituality” ~ of practicing courage with commitment.

The great philosopher Plato had tried to define courage ~ albeit inconclusively (see notes on the essay titled Laches). While all of us may not agree on the exact definition of courage, perhaps the definition is not as important as the practice of courage. Our definitions my be different, but we all know courage when we see it. The courage of a mother sparrow fighting off predators to protect her newborns. The courage of a friend or family member, who is in chronic pain, waking up every morning, putting a smile on their face and facing the world. The courage of first responders in crisis situations, rescuing lives by putting their own lives in jeopardy. The courage of those who choose to be true to themselves, sing to their own tune, to honor the spirit of diversity and harmony.

I am sure that you can come up with many more examples of commitment and courage in action, in motion. One question that comes to mind in the context of fear and courage: Is courage the only antidote to fear? Are some people just intrinsically more courageous than others? Or have they developed inner strength, and perhaps more courage, with practice? If courage can be developed by (spiritual) practice(s), what are some of these practice(s)? What is the connection between courage, diversity and harmony?

As I do (almost) every week, I invite you to a conversation about courage and commitment, in the context of practical spirituality, on Sunday May 26th at 9am ET with our #SpiritChat community. Tell us about your daily moments and acts of courage, and inspire us to overcome our fears. Thank you.

Kumud

P.S. Some of you may be aware that the final Sunday in May is celebrated as Memorial Day Weekend in the USA. It is a weekend that honors the commitment and sacrifice of all those who have paid the (ultimate) price to protect our freedoms. May we pause and reflect on their courage.

Spiritchat – May Conversations

Tags

courage, mothers, truth

The month of May began with a discussion about courage. This was a topic that seemed to bring out a lot of diverse views on the nature of courage, its relationship to fear, our sources of courage and role-models of courage for us. The take-away question for this chat was

What is one thing you would do in the near future if you could gather enough courage?

So, now that we have had a few weeks to think about it – do you feel any different about courage? If you were present for that live tweetchat, or you read the transcript later – did it give you more courage to attempt a particular task that you had been putting off?

The second chat of the month of May was a difficult chat for some – the topic was about Mothers and spiritual caregivers. I learnt during the chat that there are a lot of folks out there who feel a wide range of emotions about the topic of Mothers. Some did not have any motherly figures growing up, but they are making great efforts to be good mothering figures themselves. Some have made peace with their relationship with their mothers and some are still struggling with it.

Yes, it was a tough chat – but examining tough topics can only make us grow spiritually. For they perhaps connect us with issues that may have been buried or neglected over the years. The take-away or final question for this chat was

What would you say to your mother (or those you mother) – that you haven’t said before?

The third week of May was a discussion about truth. A few folks interpreted it as a chat about Truth (with a capital T). We discussed the importance of being truthful, where we get our truths, the idea of universal truths and some ways in which truth can be communicated. This was another interesting and open discussion because a lot of different facets and interpretations of truth and Truth were shared by the participants. The takeaway question for this chat was

What truths will you put into practice in the near future to serve others?

So, to summarize the month of May – we talked about courage, mothers and truth. Three topics that have inspired many essays and books over the years, and have a lot of connection(s) to each other. For example, what is the connection between courage and truth? What did your mother (or you as a mother or caregiver) teach you about courage? Or truth? And so on.

The more reliable the word, the more secure and fruitful the communication.

Come join us in #SpiritChat on Sunday May 27th 2012 at our regular time of 9am ET/1pm GMT as we discuss the connection between these three topics. We will also talk about June and what spiritual adventures it may bring our way 🙂 What else can we discuss? Share with us in the comments below. Thank you!

Kumud

Update: Here is the html transcript http://bit.ly/sc-tr-0527 and questions – thank you to all who shared in the discussion on courage, mothers and truth! (Here is an alternate pdf link for the transcript). Some stats – 5M+ impressions reaching 500K+ followers through 1100+ tweets and 110+ contributors. Thank you all!

Q1. What is the connection between courage and truth? #SpiritChat 

Q2. How do we know if our connection between courage and truth is broken? How do we fix it? #SpiritChat 

Q3. What kind of courage do we need for service to others? For sacrifice? #SpiritChat 

Q4. Did your #mother figures model truth and/or courage? If yes, how did they model it? #SpiritChat 

Q5. If you were allowed to hold onto only one #truth after today, what would you choose? #SpiritChat 

Q6. How do we honor the memory of those who acted with #courage to serve us? #SpiritChat 

Q7. Takeaway. What is one thing you will take forward from our May discussions - to grow spiritually in June? #SpiritChat 

Courage and the Spirit

Tags

courage, spirit, spiritchat

The great philosopher Confucius said

Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men. -Confucius

We have talked about wisdom and compassion in previous #SpiritChat discussions. So perhaps, it is time we discussed the concept of courage. What is courage? The thesaurus has a lot of definitions for courage. A few of them are

bravery, courageousness, pluck, pluckiness, valour, fearlessness, intrepidity, nerve, daring, audacity, boldness, grit, hardihood, heroism, gallantry

The question of ‘true courage’ has perplexed philosopher’s over the ages as far back as Socrates and Plato. The essay titled Laches is an extensive discussion of courage between Socrates and his students. One of his students defines courage as

Courage is the knowledge of future evils and goods – Nicias

Socrates responds that the student has in essence defined the nature of all virtue – not just courage. The discussion of these philosophers ends inconclusively, as Socrates concludes that

We all have much to learn about courage! – Socrates

One possible definition of courage is an absence of fear. The subject of fear often comes up in a lot of online discussion because fear has the ability to affect a lot of areas of our lives, including our spiritual growth. But is courage enough to overcome fear, so we may continue to walk forward in our spiritual journey? Or do we need something more than courage?

A few months ago, I had a conversation about courage with my daughter. She described courage as teamwork – the ability to help others overcome their fears. I had never conceived of courage in that way – but children can give us some unique perspectives on life. What do you think? Does courage involve teamwork? Or is it more of an individual quality?

So, let us connect and discuss the quality of moral courage and it’s role in our spiritual growth. How does courage help us on our path? Where does courage really come from? What weakens or strengthens our inner courage? Can we help others to grow their inner courage?

I invite you to join us in our weekly #SpiritChat discussion to share your thoughts on “Courage and the Spirit”. Sunday, May 6th at 9am ET / 1pm GMT. Thank you.

Kumud Ajmani

P.S. Please add your thoughts on courage in the comments. We would love to hear from you.

Update: Here is the transcript http://bit.ly/sc-tr-0506 – thank you to all who shared in the discussion!

What is Courage?

Tags

courage, inspiration, kindergarten, wisdom

“Dad, I’m still a little afraid”.

“I know sweetie. It’s okay. All you need is a little courage”.

At this point, I was thinking in ‘conventional wisdom’ ~ I was going to tell her all about how ‘courage is feeling the fear and doing it anyway’ and all these wonderful quotes that we read about courage.

But, I was curious. I wanted to find out what she knew about ‘courage’. So, I asked her: “do you know what is courage”.

Without hesitation, the gentle, halting voice from the rear seat of my car said: “Of course I know Dad. Courage is team-work”.

I was stunned. She had wiped my ‘wisdom-slate’ clean in an instant. She didn’t even use the word ‘fear’. To her, courage was about forgetting about your own fears and helping others on your ‘team’ overcome theirs. Yes, indeed, as I reflect on this ~ that indeed takes courage.

So, I am humbled yet again. I know I didn’t teach her that. I am sure it was one of her pre-school teachers or perhaps, someone on her team of friends at school. Either way, I am grateful, because it taught me about courage in a totally different light.

P.S. I hesitated to share this wisdom of a five-year old on her way to her first day in Kindergarten with you. But I am doing it because I want to know ~ what is YOUR definition of ‘courage’? Do share with us in the comments. Thank you. ~ Kumud