On Fathers and Spirituality

Tags

fathers, Fathers Day, inheritance, legacy, spirituality

I would like to believe that spirituality is gender neutral. If our spirit – that which is beyond mind and body, beyond the influence of space and time, is gender-neutral, then so is perhaps our ‘spiritual path’ that connects us to It.

This is not to say that we live in a gender-neutral physical world. Our very physical inception as humans required the union of two different genders. For some of us, the propagation of our genetic inheritance leads us to one day inherit society’s label of ‘father’ or ‘mother’. In my case, unprepared as (I thought) I was, on that day when she was born, I said – now what?

Many a ‘Fathers Day’ has passed since that day. In times of totally being at sea as a Dad, I have often searched for calm waters and warm breezes among the wisdom memories of my own fathers (birth Dad, my two uncles) and my grandfathers. I have walked, bhikshu bowl in hand, for morsels of advice at the doorsteps of my peers and friends who have walked the path ahead of me. I have asked for many a blessing, invoked many a fervent prayer, in many a house of worship. I have sung many a song to evoke grace and received many a poem in trail, on many a trail of mother nature’s infinitude.

In the process of doing ‘fatherhood’, I have unfolded a ‘becoming a father’. It has slowly dawned on me that the greatest legacy of my ‘fathers’ was their dedication and devotion to their practice. They did not shy away from prayer, from honoring the divine, from practicing their faith, from singing the songs of their mothers and fathers. They subscribed to the practice of silence and stillness as a love-form, speaking soft yet weighty words with lovingly measured tones, and looking me in the eye with tenderness when they deemed that I was in veering towards being lost at sea.

As I reflected on the spirituality of my fathers this week, I realized that I have much to learn and practice. I have discovered that I am fortunate to have a wisdom treasury to draw upon when needed – for they all conspired, in their own way, by their own spiritual walk, to connect me to the treasury of the Infinite.

Kumud

P.S. This is not an eulogy to my fathers, or fatherhood in general. I realize that your experience(s) as fathers, with your father(s) and those that played such role(s) in your lives, may be far from, or totally opposite of what I have described. No matter your experience(s), I hope that you will choose to reflect a bit, and join us Sunday June 16 at 9amET in our weekly twitter chat in #SpiritChat – Namaste. Kumud.

Walking our Fathers HeartPath

Tags

fathers, heart matters, spiritual path

The memories of those who have played a “father” like role in our lives are as diverse as the people that have played those roles. It is often that our “birth” fathers may only play a peripheral in our daily lives. However, this is not to diminish the impact that their walk, their beliefs and their heart may have had on us – whether it may have been positive or otherwise.

Father’s Day Arrives

As Father’s Day arrives in the middle of June every year (in the USA), my thoughts often turn to all those “fathers” who had an impact on my life’s path. My “birth” Dad, who was always referred to a “Papa”. My “Uncle” in India, whom I spent the better part of fourteen years growing up with. My “Uncle” in the USA, who took over the role from his brother once I moved here. There was a short, five-year period of time when all three of them had an equally strong influence on me. I like to think of those as my “golden years”.

With the passing of each one of them, I was left with a unique legacy. When Papa passed over two decades ago, I believe that I inherited his love for solitude and silence. I also inherited his love for word economy – maybe that is why I took to twitter like birds take to flight. By the time it was my Uncle’s turn, I already had a living inheritance. His dedication to daily spiritual practice and love of celebrating festivals with deep devotion had created a deep space in my heart. And finally, my Uncle in the USA left me with the tools and the values that I would need to succeed at integrating my Eastern roots into a Western world.

Trusting Our Own Path

This is not to say that I never had any disagreements with my “fathers”. Or that they had any hesitation to set me on the heart’s path as and when necessary. In every major life-decision or life-event that I can remember, their imprint on my heart still remains clear. My fathers, with their example, taught me to trust myself, trust my path, and walk gently, quietly, with a smile. I am grateful for their combined triple-legacy, of which I am a unique beneficiary.

I recognize that my situation with respect to my “fathers” is unique. In fact, some of you may have not been as fortunate as me with respect to your relationships and experiences with your father’s heart. If that it is indeed the case, I can imagine that you may not have much, if anything, to celebrate on this Father’s Day. It is perhaps an opportunity for healing rather than celebrating. Or perhaps it is an opportunity to choose to evoke and invoke the heart of our universal, spiritual “father”. The One who, in concert with the universal “mother”, is always energizing us with love and light to illuminate our walk on our heart’s own path.

Kumud

P.S. Join us Sunday, June 17th 2018 at 9amET / 630pm India for our weekly chat on twitter. Share some stories of your fathers, their heart and their walk. I look forward to hearing from you in #SpiritChat

Photo: Walking an ancient HeartPath – part of the Rocky River Reservation…

Our Life’s Rhythms

Tags

fathers, music, rhythm, spiritchat, spirituality

At a funeral service for one of my wife’s good friends this week, the priest spoke about the rhythm of our lives… and the importance of being aware of this rhythm and being in harmony with it, so that we may grow in inner peace…

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; – Ecclesiastes 3

This reminder made me reflect upon the rhythm of my own life, and my awareness (or lack) of it on a daily basis. So much of our daily actions seem to be done on auto-pilot. Many of our habits and routines serve us well as they lend structure and stability to our life, which are important for good health. However, certain life events can find us examining, questioning the habits that make up a large part of our life’s rhythms. In music, rhythm refers to a “systematic arrangement of muscial sounds according to duration and periodic stress”.

In life, rhythm refers to any repetitive pattern – the morning meditation, the lunch-time walk, the evening tea, and more. A lot of our rhythmic patterns are informed by our current goals in life, and that which we hold important in the forefront of our consciousness. If we are concerned about some aspect of our health, we may be in a a health-awareness rhythm. Education and career, relationships with family, friends and community – all have their own unique influence on our life’s rhythms. And when our rhythm is off, we know that it is time to seek out those who can help us get our groove back!

One person who was a master-tuner for me and my life’s rhythm was my Dad. A man of few words, he spoke loudly through his dedication to his family and his work. Now that I think about it, he was highly aware of the rhythm of his own life. He knew how to honor silence, to love music, to make time to simply relax with family, and not to ask too many questions. I believe I osmosized a lot his traits, but I am still working on the “don’t ask too may questions” part. I didn’t get the chance to ask him how he mastered that – maybe the secret of that rhythm is in one of the many letters he wrote to me. I need to read them again…

If we are fortunate, we have (had) warm, loving, positive associations with our fathers. And these influences have helped set (a large) part of the tone, the rhythm of our lives. But this isn’t always the case, is it? In fact, in many cases, our relationship with our fathers may be characterized by discord, discontent, disrepair and disharmony. What is one to do in such situations?

Let us not forget. “For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter…” – maybe it is time we can find a season of healing, of establishing a new rhythm in our heart. We may not be able to do it alone, but with the divine father’s (and mother’s) masterful tuning in our lives, all things are possible…

Namaste,

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. Join us as we gather for our weekly conversation in #SpiritChat on twitter – Sunday, June 18th 2017 at 9amET/1pmUTC. The USA observes the “Father’s Day” holiday on this day, and we will do our best to honor those who have played said role in our lives. I will be brewing some special Darjeeling tea and playing some of my Dad’s favorite music from the Punjab. I hope you can join in… Namaste.

Walking in the forest, among familiar terrain, looking at new growth with new eyes, often resets the rhythm of my life… what are some things that help you reset the rhythm of your life?

On Fostering and Love

Tags

fathering, fathers, fostering

All over the World, at different times and on different days Fathers are revered for their role in the Family and society at large. In the U.S. that day is the 3rd Sunday in June. According to one dictionary, “Father” is defined as:

Noun
1. a male parent.
2. a father-in-law, stepfather, or adoptive father.
3. any male ancestor, especially the founder of a race, family, or line; progenitor.
4. a man who exercises paternal care over other persons; paternal protector or provider

Yet as with any word there are gaps in the definition that may not reflect the current role 9 (or gender of the person fulfilling this role).

The word “Foster” is defined as:
Verb (used with object)
1. To promote the growth or development of; further; encourage: to foster new ideas.
2. To bring up, raise, or rear, as a foster child.
3. To care for or cherish.

Through the last 10 years my wife and I have had the unique pleasure of Fostering 23 children and adopting 4. All different ages, ethnicities and genders have passed through our home and hearts teaching us as we taught them.

I’d invite you to share your thoughts and experiences on the current role of a Father as well as a look into how, if at all, it has evolved. Are we moving toward a more enlightened time were gender is less of a factor in Parenting than role? How do our interactions with our own Fathers influence our perceptions and is that good or restrictive? If promoting the growth of others is a type of Fostering, how can we incorporate it into our daily spiritual regimen?

As herculean as this task may be through the limited scope of 140 characters, I invite you to join in the #SpiritChat discussion to share your thoughts on “Fostering and Love” on Sunday, June 15th at 9am ET / 1pm GMT / 2pm UK / 6:30pm India. Thank you.

Bryan

Bryan Armstrong is and Leadership, Management and Marketing Consultant specializing in the Automotive Industry; A determined, disciplined pragmatist who has excelled in today’s challenging retail atmosphere. Combining creativity, innovation and perfection of process to knock both strategic and tactical home runs and maximize profit both in sales and fixed ops. An early adopter and evangelist of ‘Transparency” and “Servant Leadership” before either were Industry buzzwords.

Feel free to reach out and connect:

Bryan Armstrong

bryanthecarguy@gmail.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/bryanarmstrong
https://twitter.com/bryancarguy

Join our special co-host Bryan Armstrong on June 15th, as part of our guest host series of twitter chats in #SpiritChat. Bryan has been a long time participant and supporter of the community of #SpiritChat folks – than you, Bryan!

The complete transcript for the chat is available at bit.ly/sc-tr-0615 and the hand-crafted storify summary is available at http://sfy.co/ajMk – Enjoy! 

Here are the questions asked during the chat…

Q1. What feelings or emotions does the word “Foster” evoke for you? v/@bryancarguy #spiritchat

Q2. Is a close personal or biological relationship necessary to foster someone? v/@bryancarguy #spiritchat

Q3. What role if any does gender play in the type of fostering we do or ways we express love? v/@bryancarguy #spiritchat

Q4. What role if any did your own Father have in your growth? Has that impacted the way you parent/foster? v/@bryancarguy #spiritchat

Q5. What is the connection between forgiveness and Love? v/@bryancarguy #spiritchat

Q6. Is love a necessary component of effective fostering? Why or why not? v/@bryancarguy  #spiritchat

Q7. What is the primary motivation behind your desire to ‘foster’ others? v/@bryancarguy  #spiritchat

Q8. Is it important that the person being fostered knows your motive(s)? Why or why not? v/@bryancarguy #spiritchat

Q9. What is the tipping point at which “foster” becomes “family” (in name or thought)? v/@bryancarguy #spiritchat

Q10. Share what steps you can take to promote the growth (foster) someone this week. v/@bryancarguy #SpiritChat

On Fatherhood and Spirituality

Tags

fatherhood, fathers, spiritchat

The third Sunday of June is observed as Father’s Day in North America – a holiday which focuses attention on the role of fathers in society. Father’s Day is also be observed across the world at different times of the year – as a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and related influences and influencers. One may imagine that any relationships with our fathers (and father-like figures), and our roles as fathers (or those we may influence in a paternal manner), come with some built-in complexity.

The role of “fathers” goes beyond mere biology (and perhaps even beyond the “male”) – paternal figures can be relatives, friends, and of course, spiritual guides (or masters). Many religions and their scriptures have very powerful “father” figures who have very high influence and importance through scripture and tradition. In addition, there is the role of those who do double-duty in maternal and paternal roles in families. Our thoughts also go out to those who may have lost a paternal influence recently, and may be healing. Or one who may have lost a child, and hence may be trying to re-discover their paternal role in life.

It is indeed a big task to discuss the spiritual influences of our “fathers” – or our paternal influence on others in a short conversation on twitter. Some questions that come to mind are – What kind of influence did your paternal figures have on you? Did you receive any influence at all? Did you benefit from that influence or was it a detriment to your growth in life? Are you in the role of a paternal figure or influencer for someone? Are you passing on a spiritual legacy to them? How do ‘unresolved’ or ‘unhealed’ paternal issues affect our spiritual progress? Do you feel that these issues need healing for you to move ahead spiritually?

I invite you to join us in our weekly #SpiritChat discussion to share your thoughts on “Fatherhood and Spirituality” on Sunday, June 16th at 9am ET / 1pm GMT / 2pm UK / 6:30pm India. Thank you.

Kumud

Update: Here are the questions asked during the chat. Enjoy, and feel free to answer in the comments… The full transcript and statistics are available at http://bit.ly/sc-tr-0616

Q1. What feelings/emotions does the word “father” invoke in you? #SpiritChat

Q2. What qualities did your father pass on to you that have helped you the most in life? #SpiritChat

Q3. Do you think you are a paternal influence on others? How so? #SpiritChat

Q4. What advice would you give those seeking paternal influences in their lives? #SpiritChat

Q5. Did your father convey his spiritual beliefs to you? How did that affect your spiritual growth? #SpiritChat

Q6. What is the connection between forgiveness and fatherhood? #SpiritChat

Q7. What do you think your paternal influencers could have done better to help your spiritual growth? #SpiritChat

Q8. Say a few words – to those you influence paternally or those who influence you as Dads? #SpiritChat

The Spirit of Fathers

Tags

fathers, spirit, spiritchat

The third Sunday of May is observed as Father’s Day in North America – a holiday which focuses attention on the role of fathers in our society. Father’s Day is also be observed across the world at different times of the year – as a celebration honoring fathers and celebrating fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society.

In May, we had discussed the role of mothers in our lives and our roles as “mothers” in the lives of those we influence in a mothering role. So, it is only appropriate that we honor the role of fathers and fathering in a similar manner. The discussion in May had brought to light the nature of our complex relationships with the mother figures in our lives. I imagine that any relationships with our fathers, and our roles as fathers, also come with built-in complexity.

The role of “fathers” goes beyond mere biology (and perhaps even beyond the “male”) – paternal figures can be relatives, friends, and of course, spiritual guides (or masters). Many religions and their scriptures have very powerful “father” figures who have very high influence and importance through scripture and tradition.

It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons (and daughters). ~Johann Schiller

It is indeed a big task to discuss the spiritual influences of our “fathers” on our lives in the span of an hour – perhaps we can initiate a discussion which will carry into the the week. What kind of spiritual influence did your paternal figures have on you? Do you feel that you received a good spiritual inheritance from your “father”? Are you in the role of a paternal figure or influencer for someone? Are you passing on a spiritual legacy to them? How is our spiritual progress influenced by unresolved paternal issues?

I invite you to join us in our weekly #SpiritChat discussion to share your thoughts on “The Spirit of Fathers”. Sunday, June 17th at 9am ET / 1pm GMT / 2pm UK / 6:30pm India. Thank you.

Kumud

P.S. I hope you enjoy your Fathers’ Day, wherever you happen to be. I know I will be remembering mine with fondness.

Update: Here is the html transcript http://bit.ly/sc-tr-0617 and questions – thank you to all who shared in the discussion on Fathers and fatherhood! Some stats – 1183 tweets and 132 contributors. Thank you all!