On Truth and Reconciliation

Tags

healing, light, reconciliation, spirituality, truth

It’s a mid-winter Saturday morning as I wait for the sun to rise and break the logjam of cloud cover that has been hanging in the sky like a spider hanging on for dear life, precariously at the end of its thread. I am reflecting on today’s morning meditation and the sunlit energy state that it created for my heart — a state that I hope to remember to carry with me through the rest of the day, and evoke when the cloud cover returns within or without.

The events of the week, particularly of Inauguration Day last Wednesday, have flung open the door to a state where speaking the truth is not the exception any more. The calls to ‘end the uncivil war’ and to ‘be brave enough to see the light’ are like balm to the wounds of millions of hearts who are looking for relief from the weight of pain, even grief, that they have been carrying like muse on an uphill mountain trail.

I have told the story before, and yet, in the context of truth and reconciliation bears repeating. It took me the better part of twenty years to tell my mother the truth of how much it hurt that I, the middle child, didn’t grow up with the rest of the family. It took a moment of inspired courage, standing on the balcony of a small apartment watching the sun set, holding our cups of tea, that I opened the door to speak my truth. And, to my pleasant surprise, she spoke hers. It I didn’t take me long to realize that her decision to ask her sister to raise me as a seven year old was the toughest thing she had done at her young age of twenty nine. The two of us speaking our truths to each other that evening, led to many more truthful conversations during the rest of her visit to the USA. By the time she left, I was well on the path to forgiveness and reconciliation.

That conversation was almost thirty years ago. It wasn’t that we didn’t have strong disagreements or great challenges in our relationship in the years since, but we never forgot that speaking and living our own truths, and walking in each other’s shoes with compassion, was our way back to respect, reconciliation and healing. By the time she suddenly passed away a few years back, she had become one of my best friends, confidants and advisors. Even though I continued to question some of her truths, and we had many long phone conversations about them, I never questioned her capacity to love.

What did I learn from my experience? I learnt that we are all capable of truth and reconciliation, and that our heart’s light stands ready to show us the way if we can muster enough courage to heal our wounds and let go of our pain. Is it ever too late to discard shame and blame in favor of civility, candid conversation and co-creation?

The spider doesn’t need to hang by its thread any more. The clouds have parted, the sun has risen, and it’s time to resume weaving the web of love with threads of truth, reconciliation and healing.

Bring your light. We need your courage to heal.

Kumud

P.S. Join us for our weekly conversation, Sunday Jan 24 at 9amET / 730pm India as we discuss some truths. The sun will be rising, I will be pouring tea, and we will walk the light. Namaste – @AjmaniK

Sunrise on the lake – Wednesday, January 20 2021

The Power of Introspection

Tags

accountability, blame, choices, freedom, guilt, hatred, healing, shame, yoga

And I’m back. After two days of missing my morning meditation, it’s good to be back. It took a concerted effort to get back, and now I know why I missed the light, the lightness, the peace of the condition of the heart that is often established, and more. There is no reason to feel shame, or even guilt for being derailed, as long as I learnt from the experience, recover, re-heart and reset.

I had to ask for all the masters for help, and then wait. I didn’t have to wait long, for the help did come, and it came quickly. The bonus was that there was additional help from my beloveds who have passed, and the loved ones who are present.

The shame receded, I worked through the guilt, I decided to abjure blame, which inspired accountability. It was only after transitioning through the shame, blame, guilt and accountability, that I felt ready to acknowledge what derailed me, and then make a renewed commitment to my practice, with a revised plan of action.

After all of that groundwork, came the invitation to healing, and moving on towards growth. I paused to introspect and ask. What if I had bypassed all the intermediate work and jumped straight from shame and to try and effect healing, even growth?

I believe it would have been a lost opportunity for engaging in deep introspection. I would have buried the guilt, taken no accountability, and forgotten that I had ignored the warning flags being waved by the station masters of the stations that my freight train of the mind filled with anger had passed through on my way to derailment.

The unprocessed anger would have led to more guilt, perhaps even rage and bitterness, and I would have left myself vulnerable to being even more easily derailed the next time around. In the words of the great Ramakrishna Parmahansa,

“The three things that we have to get rid of in spiritual life are shame, hatred and fear.”

How do we begin to get rid of them? Introspection is part of the process. According to step five Patanjali’s eightfold path of Yoga, pratyahara or withdrawal of the senses helps quieten the mind, which then opens the door to dharana (concentration) and then comes dhyana (meditation). Very often, we want to bypass the first six steps, and go straight to meditation. We run into all kinds of obstacles, we get derailed, we tell ourselves we failed, we start believing we are failures, and plant seeds of self-blame, guilt, and even shame.

We then get well-intentioned advice like, “if you don’t succeed at first, try again” or “get over it and move on.” I say that if you’ve tried enough times and are stuck in a whirlpool of shame, hatred and fear – then consider pausing your freight train at the next station and refueling for some Introspection. Ask some questions.

Who am I? Why am I here? What do I stand for? What won’t I stand for? What do I want my inner life to be like? What are the strengths and weaknesses of my plans and actions? What resources do I have to accomplish my purpose? Do I need help? If I ask for help, and I am offered it, will I receive it with good attitudes? Add your own questions.

As answers emerge, Introspection helps us polish the mirror within. We may even see some dark, ugly truths that we don’t like. Acknowledgement of those long buried truths is the invitation to excoriate shame, fear, and hatred.

Or we can simply keep driving our freight train, ignore all the warning signs, and get derailed again. To introspect or not, is our choice. There is great power in our choices. The consequences are often greater. Your move.

Kumud

P. S. Join us for our weekly chat on Twitter with the #SpiritChat community. We will introspect through some questions as we pause for some tea and cookies. All are welcome. Namaste – @AjmaniK

The eightfold flower of Yoga. Introspection is a vital petal

On Revisiting Joy

Tags

celebration, healing, journey, joy, spirituality

As late as last Tuesday, it appeared that we were drifting towards “skipping Christmas” this year. For whatever reason, and I can probably rattle off a lot of them, the family, including me, just didn’t seem to have caught the spirit of the season. We all seemed to be in silent agreement about the skipping and sleep-walking towards 2021. Some things are not meant to be, I thought.

And then came the snow on Wednesday evening. It wasn’t the violent snowstorm that had come a couple of weeks ago and dumped more than a foot of snow on us in the span of twenty four hours. No. This was the gentle, quiet, languid snow where every flake takes its own sewer time drifting towards the earth. There is a haze that sets up at sunset and it’s almost as if the overcast sky holds the last light of the day in its arms such that the radiance makes the night as bright as the day. The lights around the neighborhood come to life and their reflection against the water and the falling and fallen snow creates a sort of magic that extends the silent invitation.

Come play, it says. Come revisit. Come and remember. Find a single reason for Joy. You look at the new puppy sitting by the patio door with wide eyed pleading, waiting for you to open the door to the deck so she can go out and roll around in the fluffy white, even feast on it. Silently, the tide turns and my daughter announces that mid-Thursday that she is done with all her finals. My wife decides that enough is enough. She goes to the basement, and while I am on a work telecon, single-handledly digs out the eight-foot high tree that has been wondering if it will get to see the lights this year.

I am still wondering about reason, but the snow falling and the water swirling around me has other ideas. My daughter has decided that she is going to play with the gingerbread cookie kit sitting in the box. With that, the tide has fully turned. Cookies, my friends!

I am transported to a time where the heart feels like it is bobbing for waves in the ocean, where you have waded in just far enough and deep enough that your feet can still feel the earth. As you hold ground with the tips of your toes, every so often, a wave comes and lifts you clean off of the ocean floor into moments of joy and exhilaration. Every time you think you’ve had enough of the waves and try and return to the shore, the slightest of undercurrents invites you to stay a bit longer.

Revisiting Joy doesn’t happen like a flash of lightning during the middle of a late summer thunderstorm. It happens with the slow drift and soft lullaby of the peacefulness of every snow flake that is grateful that their falling has been cradled by grace and give brilliance to a single heart on some of the darkest nights of the year.

My hope is that you get to revisit too. We can only resist the invitation of nature for so long. We can resist our intrinsic nature even less, and our intrinsic nature is Joy. That is what we were built for. To remember, experience and share it.

Joy to our world. Let us revisit and soar again.

Kumud

P.S. The house keeps filling up. Lettered stockings have now appeared on the fireplace. Santa is getting his delivery ‘truck’ ready… Come join us and share your story of Joy. I hope you can find a reason. Namaste – @AjmaniK

Learning to fly by revisiting Joy

On Knowledge and Knowing

Tags

acceptance, awareness, choices, healing, invitation, knowing, knowledge, remembrance

It’s good to be welcomed back home again

— where all the stress that you brought with you is instantly dissipated by the first few steps of immersion in the stillness of the forest where the leaves are turning orange

— where all the energy that the trees have accumulated in your absence is seemingly showered on you in the falling of a single leaf

— as if you had walked into the ocean whose waves instantly wet every corner of your body – no matter how long you might have been away

— the ocean and the forest does not ask – where have you been? What did you accomplish there? Why have you been gone so long? How come you never wrote or called?

Maybe the ocean or the forest don’t ask these questions because of their state of being. Or maybe they won’t ask those questions because those answers would be from knowledge – whereas they are immersed in their own knowing.

Their own awareness, and their existence is not really influenced by our comings and goings — to them, all our knowledge is of no matter. Our knowing? That is a different matter.

I had been gone for six months. The fisherman’s trail off of the entrance path into the forest was welcoming as always, with the murmuring of the river inviting me to go left or right – or maybe straight down the middle to the bank where the trees overhang the water in suspended animation amid the stillness, and the mosquitoes immediately find you unless you find a spot with the slightest of breezes, whence they will leave you alone.

The crushed rock of millennia still holds the bank in place for those days when the river will rage – but not today, certainly not today. Today, the invitation is to walk into the middle of the river as the invisible force guides me with one hand and holds the flowing waters at bay with the other . And so, I accept the stillness and the gentility and the whisperings and the noontime birds speaking sweet nothings, stepping gently on one flat rock at a time, some of them barely big enough to hold all of my toes — and as soon as I can go no further into the river, the breeze that comes around the huge bend upstream greets me with an embrace that turns my heart into the wings of the monarch that has long gone South.

And yet, no matter all of that. You are here, You are home, in the center — maybe slightly left or right of it, but the center holds you— and you stand still. And then, an unprecedented invitation, to sit on the dry part of the river bed beneath your feet. You hesitate, but then you decide, that this is the moment for you to surrender to knowing.

So, you sit on the rock in the middle of the stream and absorb all the energy flowing upwards into you from the earth, flowing downwards into you from the overcast sky, from the waters flowing on either side of you, a bit faster on your left because it is devoid of the cluster of rocks that form eddies and lagoons on your right — so much peace, feeling the universe holding you in its knowing — and all you had to do was to accept the invitation.

In his book on Zen, Osho talked about the difference between knowledge and knowing. They are both limitless, and yet, knowledge binds us and knowing frees us. Knowledge creates desire to know even more, whereas knowing releases us from desire. The wave that surges from the ocean to touch the sky of knowledge, falls back into the ocean and is home again — in the ocean’s acceptance is the wave’s knowing of peace, love, joy, serenity, tranquility, silence, stillness, truth and kindness.

I am sure that you have all felt the light and lightness of this knowing in your experience with certain people, places and practices. I hope that you choose to accept their invitation, visit with them, and sit with them for a while in the days ahead.

Kumud

P.S. Join us Sunday, October 11 at 9amET / 630pm India as we gather on twitter for our weekly #SpiritChat in the knowing that we will partake of tea and cookies 🙂 Namaste – @AjmaniK

Author’s note: ‘stream of thought’ written while walking the Rocky River Reservation, October 6 2020.

Sitting… in the knowing that the Universe holds me with Love

The world flowing around me… as I sit in the river bed

The Essence of Self-Love

Tags

awareness, healing, love, spirituality

The Essence of Self-Love (by Elisa Balabram)

Last month, our host Kumud Ajmani and #SpiritChat, celebrated 9 years of weekly spiritual and inspirational conversations. Congratulations! I may have joined six months or so after its launch, though I’m not sure when exactly. Since then, invariably every conversation includes at least one Tweet on #SpiritChat that makes a reference to Self-Love.

I’m copying a paragraph from a recent article I wrote on my blog Inequalities, Racism, Self-Love and Action that I think is relevant. I imagine that a world filled with self-loving individuals would be a more peaceful, respectful, joyful and loving world, would you agree?

“Self-love is not gloating or self-aggrandizing. One could argue that if someone is gloating, they are seeking approval from someone other than themselves, in order to give self the permission needed to feel loved. To practice self-love is to go beyond societal and cultural expectations of one’s successes and/or failures.  Self-love is the deep knowing within oneself that one matters, has value to offer, is a light, for simply existing and being one’s heart centered, authentic Self.”

For me, the essence of self-love is a clear unimpeded connection to one’s heart space, soul wisdom, and love within. It includes giving self: acceptance, love, kindness, and permission to fail. It may also require taking things lightly, being free of judgment (work in progress), treating self as one’s best friend, and creating opportunities to express oneself authentically and creatively. In addition, I find it helpful through the self-love practice, to develop an awareness of the inner critic, and to apply tools to minimize its influence. How are you practicing self-love and what does it mean to you?

Join us this Sunday at 9am ET for a conversation about “The Essence of Self-Love” and share your experience with it.

Elisa

Elisa Balabram is a lecturer, intuitive business/life #coach, writer & #author of: Ask Others, Trust Yourself & Mending a Broken Heart: Lili´s Magic Journey. Her blog is at https://www.askotherstrustyourself.com

 

It is with great pleasure and gratitude that I welcome Elisa (@womenandbiz) to host #SpiritChat on Sunday, Aug 9 at 9amET on Twitter. Please join in and share with Wlisa and the #SpiritChat community. Namaste. – Kumud

Elisa Balabram #FF @womenandbiz on twitter

Healing Energy of Play

Tags

energy, healing, play, playfulness

I wouldn’t be surprised if the notion of “play” isn’t exactly on the forefront of most people’s minds these days. With all the challenges facing us in so many areas of our lives, it almost seems “tone deaf” to even talk about “play”. And how are we to effect spiritual healing through “play”? Let me tell you a small story. 

Last week, I talked about the new puppy that has done a “takeover” of our home. As one would imagine, her energy level is simply off the charts. It took her a mere two or three days to cajole the older dog to engage in full out play with her. He simply couldn’t resist his instinct all her invitations to play, and eventually they both were having long sessions of all out, football like scrimmages on the living room floor. The quiet, brooding, meditative seven year old came back to life. I didn’t know that he still had it in him to engage in “play” with such joy and abandon. 

Then, another thing happened. One morning, I gave her her newly discovered, favorite, dog-bone shaped, mini-biscuit. I walked away, thinking that she would be busy for a while. When I returned a few minutes later, she was sitting in the exact same spot that I had left her, in the position that is her invitation for us adults to come play with her. The treat had been set aside in the corner of her play pen, untouched. Silly me. I then realized that her favorite treat wasn’t the dog biscuit — the opportunity to play was her favorite treat!

And so, I wondered. Where do we “adults” lose our propensity to engage in “play”? Is it that words and phrases like “leadership” or “responsibility” or “accountability” or “parenting” or “setting a good example” and so on make us forget our playful nature? All of us, in our formative years after birth discovered the world around us through play, didn’t we? We would play, sleep, eat, drink, and do it all over again the next day, wouldn’t we? So, what happened somewhere along the line that we largely forgot our sense of play? Why is it that we forgot the connection of play to our well-being and health?

Or did we really forget? Maybe we simply replaced physical play with other kinds of play. What is “play” anyway? One way to define  play is its outcome – how do we feel after the experience of play? If we feel lighter, more joyous, more at peace in any or all of the three – the heart, body or mind – after engaging in any activity, then we have engaged in play. Any creative activity that engage us in a manner which heals our heart, body or mind, can indeed be a form of play. Don’t you think so?

The painter with her colors and brushes and crayons and pencils and stencils and canvases is at play. The photographer with his cameras and landscapes and portraits and lenses and perspectives is at play. The amateur cook dabbling in the kitchen with recipes and spices or baking new creations is at play. The dancer, the musician, the writer, the poet – all are at play because their heart is lighter, their mind is healed with their activity. Any action can become play, if we approach it with a light, joyful and playful attitude. And yes, even ‘spiritually focused’ activities like meditation, yoga, prayer and more, can become play. Why not?

In the Bhagavad Gita (“the song divine”), it is said that this entire world is a creation of the divine energy at play. It is further said that the deepest and highest form of love is manifested as a result of this play. If one were to believe this to be true, then we can realize that play has tremendous (healing) energy. Imagine what our life would look like, if we were to open our heart and accept the invitation to play. In loving play, we could all experience deep bliss, deeper awareness and the deepest truth in all of our being, all over again. 

Kumud

P.S. Join us on Sunday, July 19 at 9amET on twitter for our weekly community gathering in #SpiritChat. We will toss around some  questions and answers, and experience the healing energy of play. I hope you can join us. Namaste – @AjmaniK

Hydrabgea in bloom – a wonderful example of nature at play!

Our New Spiritual Earth

Tags

commitment, earthday, healing, simplicity, spiritual earth

Earth Day celebrations this year followed the trend of so many events that have gone virtual or online over the past month or so. It has been a month where every day seems the same, and some days we are hard-pressed to remember what day of the week it actually is. In such times, one would have ample reason to forget about Earth Day, let alone celebrate it in any meaningful way. 

On the other hand, this is a year where the fiftieth Earth Day and Earth month observances could not have come at a more appropriate time. The incidence and spread of the SARS Covid-2 Virus or the Novel Coronavirus has brought large parts of the world to a virtual standstill. Some are referring to these times as “The Great Pause”. Country-wide “lockdowns” and “stay at home” orders have entered the vernacular of our awareness. 

There have been many visible and measurable effects of the pausing, the slowing-down, the stopping of everyday human activities on our planet. Early on in the pause, we saw satellite imagery of noticeable reduction of pollution over countries like China, large parts of Europe, India, and more. Residents of a city in northern India woke up to a new landscape of reduced air pollution. After almost three decades, they could now actually see the snow-capped peaks of their neighboring  Himalayas. Scientists have reported that the great pause had actually changed the level of seismic activity, the way the Earth was moving.

It is reasonable to expect that the effects of this unprecedented, large-scale pause in human activity are going to be short-term in nature. However, if seeing is indeed believing, then these changes have shown us how rapidly and dramatically we humans can effect change on our planet. One may argue that we are in extraordinary times, and that the current drastic reduction in human activity is a blip on the radar. That argument is probably correct. However, even small, incremental, persistent changes in our behavior can eventually change the energy and the vibration of our planet. It is like boiling cold water – it often seems like it is taking forever for the water to warm up. Once the water reaches 211F, it only takes a single degree of change, for it to change state and becomes steam. Massive change often comes in slow increments, from small commitments.

The newly minted weekly video gathering of #SpiritChat folks occurred on Earth Day this week. Four of us gathered briefly, and contemplated asked the question – what does Earth Day mean to us? Sharon (@awakeningtrue) offered that her hope was that more folks would take the opportunity to meditate on Gaia and her warm, golden, healing energy. Julie (@juliejordanscot) said that she was going to act on a challenge to hug a tree deeply, with a warm loving embrace, and feel its energetic, inner vibration. Quratulain (@iquarattariq) spoke about how the great pause has led her to ‘reduce her footprint’ on this One Earth, and to be grateful for her abundant life, when compared to so many others’ lives. On behalf of the community, I offered a reading of a short poem by Emily Dickinson…

Nature rarely uses yellow
Than another hue;
Saves she all of that for sunsets, —
Prodigal of blue;

Spending scarlet like a woman,
Yellow she affords
Only scantly and selectly,
Like a lover’s words.

– Nature XXXI #EmilyDickinson #CollectedPoems

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunset in the backyard (Fall 2018) 

What may Earth Day mean to you? We have a few more days left in this Earth month of April. We still have time to consider some small changes that we can make in our lives — changes that will eventually make a huge impact on all the elements of our planet. The water we drink, the earth we plant seeds in, the air we breathe — all these elements, this ecology, is looking forward to helping ensure for our healthy, long-term survival. On this Earth day, in this Earth month, we can perhaps commit to meeting the planet and its elements at least half-way, can’t we? And yet, we have something greater to do.

The greater commitment we can make on this Earth Day is to take a great pause, and examine the state of our inner Earth. What can we do to cleanse our inner Earth’s elements of the toxic pollutants of fear, anger, jealousy, prejudice, and the like? How can we create a sustainable, rare Earth that embodies the five elements of simplicity, purity, peace, amity and compassion? If it is true that the outer world reflects the state of our inner world, then let us accept the invitation to begin within.

Let us embrace the opportunity provided by the great pause with a sense of urgency. The time to act is now. We have the heart and soul of the planet to heal. 

Kumud

P.S. Please join us on Sunday, April 26 at 9amET / 1pmUTC / 630pm India for our weekly gathering of the #SpiritChat community on twitter. We will discuss our commitment to action to the Earth within and without. Thank you for reading. Namaste – @AjmaniK

Do the best you can, until you know better; Then when you know better, Do better — Maya Angelou

Raising Community Spirit

Tags

community, connection, healing, health

As I sat at my writing window observing the community dynamics of the variety of birds in the backyard on a chilly spring Saturday morning, there was much to learn. The blackbirds take their positions on the fence and the cattails. The robins take position in the thrush and the grass. The hawks have their nest at the highest point in a nook among the trees. The chickadees sing in the pine trees along the fence line. So much diversity, and yet they have figured out how to mostly live in harmony as a community. They seem to live in a manner where all of them can make nests, grow families, and thrive for the season. On more than one occasion, I have even seen blackbirds sounding the alarm and escorting the hawks back into their nests when they get too close for comfort.

The community in my backyard reminds me of one of my grandmother’s favorite expression, with which she would end every prayer session… sarve bhavantU sukhinAH – it simply means, may we act in a way so as to spread peace and prosperity to all. On the face of it, this seems like a fairly easy way for us to live our lives. However, when faced with tough choices which negatively impact our lifestyle, our livelihood or the health of our immediate family, we may tend towards making decisions which may negatively impact our communities. 

She was so looking forward to this weekend, to playing back to back volleyball tournaments on Saturday and  Sunday. She loves the sport, her team, her coaches and everything about the community that surrounds it. On Wednesday, her coach texted that the tournaments may be cancelled because the venue (a local community college) was being shut down. The initial disappointment was quickly reversed as a following text said that they would be allowed to play (as they are not a college team). Confusion led to uncertainty and some anxiety. However, on Thursday, the state’s Governor gave clarity by banning all gatherings of a hundred of all more people. Game over. 

Schools closed for three weeks. Science centers, museums, nature centers, local libraries. All closed till further notice. At first glance, it all  seemed a bit ‘over the top’. And yet, once we talked as a family about how ‘flatten the curve’ works, we understood. By  limiting person to person contact, we slow the exponential spread. In turn, this gives the health system and its workers a fighting chance to treat those who are most at risk. In my three decades of living in the USA, other than the ‘coming together’ after 9/11, this is perhaps the widest action of community solidarity that I have seen.

So, as we adjust to our new ‘home boundedness’, what we can do to mitigate the sense of isolation we may eventually feel? I thought back to grandma’s invocation of sarve bhavantU sukhinAH. In times of crisis, she often would choose to do less, rather than more. This was her way of creating space for others, for community. She would have advised:

Eat less, drink more (water). 

Stream less. Read more.

Frown less. Smile more. 

Hoard less. Share more.

Talk less. Listen more.

Sit less. Walk more.

Less is more. 

It is the wisdom of our elders, our mentors and those whom we trust to speak truth to us that can raise our spirit. When our spirit is that of calm, instead of that of anxiety, we become conduits of spreading calm instead of anxiety. So, how do we bring calm to our heart, mind, body and spirit? The answer depends on the individual. What brings you calm? Regardless of the answer, the health of the community depends on the health of each one of us. As long as we radiate higher purpose, our actions will be  infused with the power to virtually hold on to each other, and keep our spirits soaring through any crisis.

Our true power is in the current that flows through us, and our community. Our power directs our actions towards a greater purpose. Our selfless actions inspire our spirits, and the result is the health and well-being of all.

Kumud

P.S. Join us for our weekly twitter chat, Sunday March 15 at 9amET / 1pm GMT / 630pm India in #SpiritChat – we will raise each other spirits over tea, coffee, fruit and cookies as we gather online and engage in some Q & A – just like we’ve been doing for so many years 🙂 – @AjmaniK

 

Flowers – holding on to each other – raising each other up!

Spirituality and Veterans

Tags

freedom, healing, spiritual practice, spirituality, veterans

One benefit of sitting next to my daughter study American history this semester is that this immigrant is also learning some important bits by osmosis. Her course’s current focus is on the American Civil War of the 18th century and all the battles that were fought between ‘North’ and ‘South’. Many of the war’s stories are stark reminders of the cost of war in general — the cost of human disagreements gone greatly awry.

Some of the ‘greatest’ wars that humans have engaged in are perhaps the ones which incurred the greatest casualties and deaths. Some are deemed ‘great’ because they were fought to gain freedom, to preserve freedoms. Others are considered ‘great’, even termed ‘world wars’, because their conflagration spread across nations and continents.

And then there are the wars that us humans have fought, even fight today, because we deem that ‘our’ religion is superior to ‘theirs’. Or that ours is the only ‘true’ spiritual path to ‘liberation’ and all others paths are ‘false’. Millions have died in wars to assert religious superiority — to what effect, one has to wonder?

There are those who will assert that war is sometimes essential to maintain peace, to enable and ensure the practice of religious and other freedoms. Yes. History is full of examples of power gone berserk in the hands of those whose greed and ambition know no bounds. If we all were to evolve to the point where we could regulate our own selves well, examine and limit our wants and words, love and give more, then war would become an anachronism.

Until we get to that stage where all war becomes unnecessary, the greatest respect that we can perhaps pay to veterans is to acknowledge and respect their ability and willingness to go to battle, to suffer the pain and horror of war on our behalf.

In return, may we practice constant remembrance — to use the time, space and freedom gifted to us by them, to involve into spiritual veterans. Perhaps the result of our daily, hourly, minutely spiritual practice can be to honor and cherish the truths of joy, love, light and kindness in thought and action.

Maybe we can give new meaning to ‘remembrance’ on every future Veterans Day. By working toward a sustainable inner peace, by supporting those who work for peace, we can create new kinds of heroes. Through constant remembrance of peace, our spiritual work and practice can help create an alternative to war for future generations.

Kumud

P.S. Join our weekly gathering on Twitter – Sunday, Nov 10 at 9amET/ 730pm India in #SpiritChat ~ Namaste – @AjmaniK

Creating Our Mental Sanctuary

Tags

healing, mental body, mental health, sanctuary, wellness

He would often be standing by the wrought iron gate that led to the small stone patio in front of my grandparent’s home. A tall, handsome figure, his silent presence would convey some unknown greeting from behind his large, sunken eyes. On every weekly visit, we kids would wonder – what kind of mood is he going to be in today? We kids  were told that he was a brilliant young man, and that he had an ‘almost drowning’ while serving in the Navy, which affected his brain. I hoped that my aunt (his older sister, who raised me) or my grandfather (his father) would be spared his rage which would sometimes pour forth in an unmitigated verbal barrage of obscenities.The two people that he rarely tangled with were the two ladies of the home – his mother and his sister-in-law. I remember watching him drink his evening cup of tea with such peace, standing outside the kitchen or at that wrought iron gate. His moments of silence seemed to be as deep and impactful as his lapses of rage. 

On Tuesday of this week, I stumbled upon the fact that many organizations across the world were observing “World Mental Health” week. I am not sure why, but after all these decades, the memories of my dear Uncle came flowing through my mind. Buried deep within my own brain’s cognition, the memory of his pain returned to my awareness. It made me ask the question – what actions and practices can we, as travelers on our spiritual journeys, take, to create mental sanctuaries – for ourselves, and those who cannot create them for themselves? Some answers were revealed in a live webinar titled “Love and Compassion for Mental Well-Being”, which I attended on Wednesday morning. The three practices, not in any particular order, that emerged from this conversation were:

1. Work to remove Isolation. Those, like my Uncle, who suffer from chronic inner pain due to improper mental health, often choose inner and outer isolation. Isolation becomes their sanctuary, because it is perhaps their only safe space. When we observe such a tendency towards isolation, within us and in others, we can work towards reaching out and taking action towards its mitigation. Even though my Uncle lived in the same house with his family, I am sure that he felt isolated in many ways, because nobody really knew how to  engage with him in a way that would be meaningful to him.  

2.  Choose Self-Compassion. We, in the #SpiritChat community often talk about the practice of compassion, and how we ought not to forget to apply compassion to our own selves. We are often more aware of being compassionate towards others, than towards ourselves. Why is self-compassion essential to creating a mental sanctuary? One reason is that “self-compassion is necessary because it is an antidote to shame”. We may have been raised in a family, a relationship, a work environment that inflicted shame upon us. Self-compassion helps us break the circle of shame, and allows for healing to enter the mind. With compassion, we can create an environment for a new, healthy mental sanctuary to emerge. 

3. Create a New Self-Image. How do we see our own self? Our image of our self is often created on the lens of our mind by the impressions of our past experiences, our current life situation, and what we expect our future to be like. A mental lens that is overly clouded with impressions, weak and strong, can affect our mind and heart. Regular practice of (self) forgiveness can help us clean some of these impressions. As our heart forgives, we become lighter, we admit new light that can create a clear, new, radiant, brilliant self-image. A new self-image, when combined with self-compassion, erases self-hatred. 

Those who are suffering due to poor mental health, often do not have the resources to break the triangle of isolation, lack of love, and lack of compassion that becomes their ’sanctuary’. It thus becomes our responsibility – all of us who have the resources of love, compassion and companionship to offer – to offer the sanctuary of these three, to them and to ourselves, with kindness and grace. Will we choose to share, to create a new sanctuary? Or will we let the suffering continue?

Kumud 

P.S. Join us in our weekly twitter chat, Sunday October 13 at 9amET / 630pm India. We shall share some love, compassion and companionship – and share our practices which can help each other create healthy mental sanctuaries. I also invite you to reach out to someone you may not have heard from in a while, who may be feeling ’isolated’, and ‘check-in’ on them. Maybe even invite them to some ‘tea and cookies’. Namaste – @AjmaniK

The bridge that leads to one of my ‘sanctuaries’