The Spirit of Loyalty

Tags

heart matters, loyalty, poetry, service, spirituality

“I am loyal to the throne. Who are you loyal to?”

It is interesting that we can watch a two-plus hour movie (during a polar vortex shut-in) filled with action, and the one fragment that adheres to us, days later. In the movie “Black Panther”, the question above was asked by Okoye (the General) of Nakia (the future Queen), in the moments after there is upheaval in the country of Wakanda.

I thought about the question that evening, and it kept returning to my brain box for a few days. I am still thinking about it. Let us begin at the beginning. What is loyalty? One definition of loyalty is a strong feeling of support of allegiance. The other synonyms are faithfulness, obedience, adherence, devotion and the like. It would seem that loyalty would be a good quality or virtue to develop in our character, yes?

Before we answer the original question (who are we loyal to?), maybe we can reflect on some related questions. Where does our sense of loyalty come from? What qualities in others incite, grow and sustain loyalty within us? What makes our loyalties wax and wane over time? Have you experienced real-world examples of long-term, unwavering, even permanent loyalty in your life? If so, how did such examples of loyalty influence you, your life?

Now that we have put the questions out upfront, we can reflect on them and probe for the answers. If we choose not to probe, we can cast the questions out like seeds, and wait for the answers to bloom in their own time. Either way, if we remain loyal to the process of asking, and then provide space and time for the answers to be received by us, the process has a chance of working. In this increasingly hurried world, we can perhaps reflect on the question – how loyal are we to the process of receiving (answers)?

But I digress a bit. As I asked myself some of the questions about loyalty, one common answer that seemed to emerge was that a lot of our loyalties, allegiances, adherences, even devotions – are transitional and transient in nature. Time and space and relationships change as we transit through life, and so do our loyalties. Even the long-term loyalties of satellites (moons) to planets are constantly changing (albeit ever so slightly) over time. (Aside: what examples of ‘deep loyalty’ may Mother Nature reveal to us?) So what chance do we mere mortals, of finite life-spans, have of developing and honoring permanent loyalty?

Maybe we need to look beyond, if we are to experience a permanent sense of loyalty. Our physical frames of existence and our actions within them, bound as they are by time, space and causation, are bound by impermanence. Hence, the resulting loyalties are (mostly) impermanent. What if we were to go beyond the physical, and into the spiritual domain? If we were to become and be meditative, examine our heartspace and feel our heartsense, what deeper loyalties may be revealed in That light?

Before she asked that question of Nakia, Okoye actually said… “I am loyal to the throne, no matter who sits on it“. If we ask the same question of our heart, what will be the reply? Who sits on our heart’s throne? Who are we really loyal to? Does that relationship have a nature of permanence?

Kumud @AjmaniK

On behalf of the #SpiritChat community, I invite you to join us for a conversation on this topic – Sunday, February 3 at 9amET / 730pm India. We would love to know – who sits on your heart’s throne? Namaste.

Postscript: Fragments of a poem, that keep coming, as answers to the question… if you can think of additions, please share in the comments… Namaste…

There may be be love without cause,
Just because…
But what is the nature, of cause without love?

There may be clouds without rain,
With loud refrain…
But what is the worth, of rain without clouds?

There may be heat without light,
Warming the night…
But have we felt the love, of light without heat?

There can be sight without vision,
A heart’s decision…
But can there be vision without sight?

– A Traveler’s Loyalty

Walking our Fathers HeartPath

Tags

fathers, heart matters, spiritual path

The memories of those who have played a “father” like role in our lives are as diverse as the people that have played those roles. It is often that our “birth” fathers may only play a peripheral in our daily lives. However, this is not to diminish the impact that their walk, their beliefs and their heart may have had on us – whether it may have been positive or otherwise.

Father’s Day Arrives

As Father’s Day arrives in the middle of June every year (in the USA), my thoughts often turn to all those “fathers” who had an impact on my life’s path. My “birth” Dad, who was always referred to a “Papa”. My “Uncle” in India, whom I spent the better part of fourteen years growing up with. My “Uncle” in the USA, who took over the role from his brother once I moved here. There was a short, five-year period of time when all three of them had an equally strong influence on me. I like to think of those as my “golden years”.

With the passing of each one of them, I was left with a unique legacy. When Papa passed over two decades ago, I believe that I inherited his love for solitude and silence. I also inherited his love for word economy – maybe that is why I took to twitter like birds take to flight. By the time it was my Uncle’s turn, I already had a living inheritance. His dedication to daily spiritual practice and love of celebrating festivals with deep devotion had created a deep space in my heart. And finally, my Uncle in the USA left me with the tools and the values that I would need to succeed at integrating my Eastern roots into a Western world.

Trusting Our Own Path

This is not to say that I never had any disagreements with my “fathers”. Or that they had any hesitation to set me on the heart’s path as and when necessary. In every major life-decision or life-event that I can remember, their imprint on my heart still remains clear. My fathers, with their example, taught me to trust myself, trust my path, and walk gently, quietly, with a smile. I am grateful for their combined triple-legacy, of which I am a unique beneficiary.

I recognize that my situation with respect to my “fathers” is unique. In fact, some of you may have not been as fortunate as me with respect to your relationships and experiences with your father’s heart. If that it is indeed the case, I can imagine that you may not have much, if anything, to celebrate on this Father’s Day. It is perhaps an opportunity for healing rather than celebrating. Or perhaps it is an opportunity to choose to evoke and invoke the heart of our universal, spiritual “father”. The One who, in concert with the universal “mother”, is always energizing us with love and light to illuminate our walk on our heart’s own path.

Kumud

P.S. Join us Sunday, June 17th 2018 at 9amET / 630pm India for our weekly chat on twitter. Share some stories of your fathers, their heart and their walk. I look forward to hearing from you in #SpiritChat

Photo: Walking an ancient HeartPath – part of the Rocky River Reservation…

The Heart’s Graduations

Tags

commencement, graduation, heart, heart matters

The end of May and the beginning of June is ‘graduation season’ in the USA. With the end of the school year, and the beginning of ‘summer break’, it is a long-standing tradition that celebrates the accomplishment of students, a felicitation of their teachers, and the support of family and friends. From kindergarteneners to post-graduates, beaming students march across stages across America in the finest of caps, gowns, tassels and other finery, as they are handed rolled-up diplomas that proclaim them as ‘graduates’.

The first ever graduation that I attended for myself, was for my doctorate degree. I had somehow managed to skip (or avoid!) every single one before then. In this case, having graduated in the December of the previous year, I was already working full-time. My thesis advisor called, and jokingly suggested that I would not receive that piece of sheepskin (is it really made of that?) if I did not show up for the ceremony. I am glad that I went, because it was a wonderful celebration indeed. I do not remember who the commencement speaker was, or what they said, but I will never forget the look of joy in my advisor’s eyes when I came off the stage with degree in hand.

He was always Dr. Ng to me. A young superstar professor from MIT, Presidential Rank Young Professor awardee, often chosen Professor of the Year by his students, and much more. In that moment, all I could say to him was, Thank you, Dr. Ng. But that day, he immediately corrected me and said – you can call me “Wing” from now on. You earned that right. He must have seen the reluctance in my eyes at this suggestion. So he quickly added – it’s okay. I insist.

For some reason, with that simple statement, I realized that four years of an academic-centric relationship (that began with him being my Master’s degree advisor), had now graduated to a heart-centric relationship. His attendance at the graduation parties thrown by my friends, an invitation to his home to have a special dinner with his family, and many other small and not-so-small touches were proof of that. He knew that I did not have any family (other than my younger cousin) present that week, so he turned from mere advisor to filling the role of proud-parent.

Now that I think about those events of twenty-five years ago, I ask myself. How do we know when our heart has graduated from kindergarten to the next grade? How do we discern when a relationship has transformed from a business- or academic- or task-centric to a heart-centric one? How do we measure the heart’s progress on the ‘education’ ladder, or can we? What would a high-school graduation in the heart’s curriculum entail for us? How about an undergraduate or graduate degree, or even a ‘doctorate’ in heart-centric education?

Perhaps all these questions are moot, for they all point to a single answer. Perhaps there are no discrete graduations in the heart, for the flow within it is more of a continuum. Perhaps the heart is beyond space and time, for it is on its journey of continuous involution.

In closing, I have to say thank you. To my parents who supported my coming here for graduate studies. To the community of Virginia Tech who held me gently. To my friends and teachers who believed in me despite all my flaws. And to the thesis advisor who took a gamble on a ‘fresh-off-of-the-boat’ graduate student from India after a five minute conversation, and provided and protected for him with all the resources at his disposal to make sure that he stayed the course.

Thank you, Wing for being a shining-heart example of the spirit of Ut Prosim.

Namaste,

Kumud

P.S. Please join us Sunday, June 3rd at 9amET on twitter in #SpiritChat – we will explore the topic of “The Heart’s Graduation”. I look forward to your sharing of some graduation thoughts with the community. Thank you!

The heart’s graduation perhaps happens in the willingness to cross bridges…

On Slowing Down – Again

Tags

celebration, heart matters, mindfulness, relaxation

There are one hundred and sixty eight hours in a week. If we slow down to count from one to one hundred and sixty eight – slowly, deliberatelty, mindfully – we can become aware of the amount of time that we potentially have access to. Even a slow count from one to twenty four, in the moments that we first awaken in the morning, can help us to reflect upon the treasury of the new day that has been opened before us.

Those few early morning minutes can indeed be ‘trend-setters’ for the rest of the hours of the day. In those early moments of the day, our minds and hearts are like flowers laden with dew opening towards the rising sun. The dew will surely turn into vapor as the heat of the world around us rises and we plunge into our daily routine. Yet, we have an opportunity to begin our day with a few moments of slowing down, a relaxation.

In an age of acceleration, nothing is as exhilarating as going slow. – Pico Iyer (via @GaryGruber)

We often slow down, relax, unwind at the end of the day, rather than the beginning. We are usually ‘running late’ in the morning, so we tend to plunge head-first into the river of action. We often leave little time for ourselves to appreciate the interplay of fragrance, moisture and morning light. I am well aware of this ‘reverse order’ of slowing down, because I did the same for many years in my life.

And then one day, I decided that I was going to reverse the order of ‘slowing down’. All it took was ‘giving up’ some minutes of sleep in the morning. But I really didn’t give anything up because I discovered that I really loved ‘slowing down’ more than I loved ‘sleeping in and rushing into the day’. I didn’t give up ‘slowing down’ at the end of the day either. In fact, the acts of ‘slowing down’ have become the primary bookends of my days.

It has been a slow, deliberate process that has been almost eighteen months in the making. Meaningful change does not happen instantly. The decision to change may happen in an instant, but the actions necessary to effect that change in the long term takes a commitment to practice. And I wonder if that is why so many of us, including me, have a challenge with ‘slowing down’ in the long term. We may slow down intermittently when we are exhausted, tired of rushing around. We may slow down intermittently on vacations, in (spiritual) retreats or on the ‘weekends’. But the challenge is to create a lifestyle which makes ‘slowing down’ as essential as breathing.

Indulge me when you have a minute. Sit, and close your eyes. Start taking an in-breath. Visualize the air near your nose enter the air passageways as it makes it long way through the trachea and into each lung. It is now traveling through smaller and smaller passages until it reaches the alveoli. Here, the oxygen from the air is exchanged with the carbon-dioxide from the blood brought from the heart. This exchange happens across a thin membrane that makes life possible. Both the air stream (the purifier) and the blood stream (the receiver) have to virtually come to a standstill so that purity can be effected. You have slowed down, and yet only taken half a breath. Now, watch the air leave the lungs as it reverses path and leaves through the mouth or nose. You have completed one breath. One, slow, deliberate cycle of life.

Maybe our spiritual heart works the same way. Is it possible that the medium that purifies our spiritual heart needs us to slow down, to relax, to perhaps even surrender – so that It may do its work of purificiation and renewal?

Let us pause to consider. Let us be aware of the moments that create beauty and joy in our heart. Let our (spiritual) practice help us create more such moments for ourselves. Let us eventually create an environment for those around us that will invite them to create such moments for themselves. For it is then that ‘slowing down’ will create lasting change.

Namaste,

Kumud @AjmaniK

I invite you to ‘slow down’ with us in #SpiritChat on Sunday, July 30th at 9amET/1pmUTC on twitter. We will celebrate another year of our weekly Sunday morning conversations with the community, as we launch our seventh year of practice… Thank you, fellow travelers!

A New Day

On Slowing Down