A Mother’s Heartbeat

Tags

heart, heart matters, mothers, mothersday, vibration

I am walking the shore, looking at all the trees that have already shed all their blooms, when I suddenly come upon a late bloomer. It is full of the fragrance that I first felt, that announced its presence to me, invited me to visit with her. As I get closer, I take my sun-glasses off to view the astonishing sight created by this single tree. It is nonchalantly shedding blooms with every breath, not only onto the ground but also onto the heavy green algae sitting in the lake. The surface of the water is a triple layer of barely visible blue, covered by heavy green, and a carpet of fragrant white lightness covering it all like frosting in a cake. And the frosting is fragrant!

The resident blackbirds have spotted me now, and are creating a big ruckus, perhaps alerting the geese family with their newborns who are growing rapidly to adulthood, about the arrival of the ‘Friday Morning Walker’s’ intrusion. My heart has been captured by the tapestry in the water, and I move a few hundred yards to the opposite shore to get a better view of it all. The breeze picks up a bit on this warming morning, and every so often, the combination creates an ethereal shower of white on the water, whose thickness is starting to match the green algae underneath.

From my new vantage point on the other shore, I can see a second tree in the distance which has created its own field of white in the lake waters below it. The fragrance of the two, located about fifty feet from each other, is combining to create a new sense of harmony in the stillness. The heartbeats of the two trees seems to permeate everything that they do, including the giving with joy of the very blooms that make them so radiant and fragrant.

Is that what I am meant to absorb and take away from the walk this morning — to remember that the heartbeat of Mother Nature, of a Mother, is to bloom for all, to send life-giving energy to all in the world who are receptive to it?

I can stand here all morning and just observe my own heartbeat slow down and synchronize with that of the petals now seemingly falling in suspended animation. I think I will do just that. It feels good to harmonize with the fragrance and the unstruck sound of the universal Mother’s heartbeat.

Let the world wait.

Kumud

P.S. Join us for our weekly twitter gathering and conversation in #Spiritchat, Sunday May 14 at 9amET / 1pmGMT / 630pm India. We will listen and share with each other. Namaste – @AjmaniK

On Mothers and Perspectives

Tags

caregiving, divine, fostering, mothers, mothersday, perspective, universality

How can I write about a Mother’s perspective when I am not one according to the world’s definition? One way to attempt it is to write from my viewpoint as a child of a mother. Another way to write about it is through listening, watching and observing the Mothers around me. Yet another way is to consider the varied qualities and roles that ‘Mothers’ play in the world. Let me dive in and try a blend of all of the above.

The biological mother is the physical reason for our being, the conveyor of our existence. All of us have a connection to her through blood, tissue, genetics, and in most cases, nurture and nutrition. From a woman’s perspective, becoming a mother (or wanting to be one) requires a complex investment of physical, emotional, mental and financial energy. My own mother told me the stories of her challenges of getting married at nineteen, and then almost dying while giving birth to my older brother within a year. I often wonder – how would have her life been different if she hadn’t been handed the Mother role at that age? Yes, her three children were her great pride and joy, and yet the way she talked about her dreams, I sometimes wonder – what more could she have accomplished in life if she had had more ‘freedom’ in her role? Do you ever wonder the same about your biological mother?

There are many whose lives have had little influence of their biological mothers. For them, grandparents, fathers, foster parents and even teachers, may have taken over the traditional ‘mother’ role of nurturing, caring and loving. What is the perspective of those children and their ‘mothers’? I happened to stumble upon this perspective through my neighbor’s writing this week. It is titled “The Strength of Surrender” – I invite you to read her powerful story where she says that ‘Courage is a Mother’s first name’. Yes, the perspective of courage can often be overlooked by those who have lived through an ‘ideal’ upbringing – if there is even such a thing as ‘ideal’.

Yet another perspective on Mothers and children is that if the “Universal Mother”. I often refer to “Mother Earth” or “Gaia” as the one that provides unlimited and unconditional love and caring to humans, animals and plants alike. Mother Earth’s various energies manifest in diverse ways, recognizing and filling the needs of growth, development and healing for all her beings. The Universal Mother evokes a perspective of deep gratitude within me – what m’a your perspective on her?

The fourth perspective I would like to present for your consideration is that of the Divine Mother. For me, She represents the ultimate ‘safe harbor’, the ever available giver of warmth, understanding and forgiveness, the fountainhead showering constant love, and the firmament of grace and protection for her beloved children. Every instance of remembrance of such a Divine Mother has the tendency to fill me with light, lightness and joy. How about you? Do you have a similar perspective about her existence, her presence in your life?

I realize that I may not have covered all the perspectives of Mothers today. In fact, it isn’t possible to do so. There are those for whom the Mother perspective is that of pain, suffering, estrangement and more. There are those who have lost a Mother, and Mothers who may have lost children recently. There are those…

My hope and prayer is that whatever your perspective on Mothers may be, may it in some way eventually help you walk towards more love, more light, more healing and more living.

Namaste,

Kumud

P.S. Join us in our weekly chat, Sunday May 9 at 9am ET / 630pm India with the #SpiritChat family on Twitter. I will bring some of my Mom’s favorite chai and snacks – @AjmaniK

Our Mother’s Energy

Tags

divine mother, motherhood, mothers, mothers day, perfection, spirituality

While there may be some perfect children, there are no perfect mothers. Wait. That didn’t sound right. 

Let me try this again. 

While there may some perfect mothers, there are no perfect children. Hmm. That doesn’t sound right either. 

One last time.

Just like there are no perfect children, there are no perfect mothers. Yes. I think that’s how the adage goes. 

If we can accept this premise of two-way imperfection, then we open the door to a lot of possibilities for Mother’s day. We open the door to accepting that both mothers and children are often doing the best they can as they muddle their way through their lives. The occasionally collaborative muddling is clouded with doubt and constant questioning, perhaps more on the part of mothers than their children.

For the most part, mothers are tough on themselves. To a large extent, I saw this with my own mothers.Yes. That’s a plural. Both my birth-mother and her sister who raised me for fourteen years, were tough on themselves. My aunt was tough on the kids too, but in a this-is-for-your-own-good kind of way. I also see this tough-on-self, but in her case, soft-on-the-kid approach in my wife, as she works on her role as a mother. Our daughter gets a (really) wide berth from her, and yet, my daughter also knows when she’e reaching the end of rope. It’s a very interesting dynamic for me to watch. 

The burden of perfection wears heavy on women as they learn their way into their roles as mothers. Society expectations of women in this role is extremely high. Women are expected to be primary caregivers, providers, nourishers, teachers and much more. It is a miracle that they can stay in sound mental health under all this pressure. During Mother’s day week, I often think about the pressures that my Mom must have felt, having her first child, my brother. at the age of nineteen, ten months after she got married. Barely out of childhood, and here she was, taking care of a child of her own. 

I wonder what her life would have been like if she hadn’t been handed the early-in-life of Mother. She was twenty one when I was born. What kind of dreams of her own did she have, that got put on the shelf — some of them to stay there permanently. She was very happily married to Dad, and they had lots of travels and adventures together, with us. There were a lot of moments of joy and family times full of tea, music, food and playing cards. And yet, I could feel that there was a sense of searching (for something) within her.

In her case, the search led her to her meditation practice late in life. She was always a devoted to her faith and religious person. However, her meditation practice gave her persona a lightness of heart and joy which had been missing in her life. It was as if she had received a re-birth of her faith through personal experience of divine energy in her life. There was nary a weekly phone conversation where she wouldn’t bring up her practice and her experiences with it. To say that this new child-like joy of hers had an influence on me, is an understatement. And so, a new journey began for me, as I decided to follow her method, a mere few months before she merged with light. 

This is the story of two people, mother and child, who began their journey together by muddling through the early years, and then spent most of their physical lives at long distances from each other after the child turned seven. And yet, the connection on the emotional level was rarely frayed — even during, and particularly so when we strongly disagreed with each other. Her final bequest to me was the sharing of her late in life spiritual practice, for which I am eternal grateful, for it shall keep me connected to her in stillness, silence and light. 

That’s part of the story of me, one of my mothers, and our imperfections. What’s your story? Are you among the few whose mother thought that you were the perfect child? Do you (or did you) believe that your Mom could do no wrong, and that she  ‘walked on water’? What were some defining moments of your ‘travels’ with your Mother or the one(s) who raised you? Were there any influences, weak or strong, that your Mama had on you, or that you had on her?

I have learnt over the years of hosting #SpiritChat that Mother’s Day is a day of widely varying emotions for many of us. It isn’t necessarily a day of celebration for some, particularly those who may have had negative experiences with their mothers. In addition, this day is very tough on those mothers who may be grieving the recent loss of a child, or children grieving their recently lost mother. And then there are those who want to be mothers, but for various reasons, can’t. The mothers of the disappeared. The mothers of those in refugee camps. The mothers of those in ICE detention centers. The mothers of those caught in human trafficking. The single mothers coping with the pandemic. The mothers trapped in heightened domestic abuse during the pandemic. The mothers across the world who struggle every day to provide drinking water, food, maybe even soap, for their children. And many more. 

And yet, I have also learnt, that there are those who do embrace this day to honor, celebrate and express gratitude for their journey together – mothers and children alike. What message can we send to all of them on Mother’s Day? Maybe we can make a small donation to women’s shelters and organizations like MitzvahCircle or UNICEF or UNHCR. We can send them a message of Hope with our giving, because it would mean the world to them.

In a spiritual sense, no matter where we may fall on the spectrum of joy or grief on this day, one thing is for certain. We can warm our heart in the knowing that the energy of the Divine Mother is constantly watching over us with deep love, suffusing her healing light into our heart, and is ever-present with her grace in our life. When we experience that divine energy, we can all find cause for remembrance and celebrate Her on this Mothers’ Day.

Namaste,

Kumud

P.S. Join us as we gather for our weekly conversation on twitter with the #SpiritChat community. Sunday, May 10 at 9amET / 630pm India. We will talk a little about “A Mother’s Energy”, and share some stories about how we muddled through childhood together. Namaste – AjmaniK

A blue (or is it purple or magenta?) iris blooms – my Mother’s favorite colors…

On Mothers and Struggles

Tags

celebration, healing, mothers, mothersday, spirituality

Towards the end of my daughter’s middle-school’s performance of the Lion King, Simba (the heir apparent to his deceased father’s throne) is asked the question by his Mother: “Are you responsible for your father’s death? Did you murder him?”

Simba struggles to answer, as he was indeed present when his father was killed in an “accident” as a result of a plot hatched by his father’s brother. Simba, who was a young child at the time, has just returned from years in self-imposed exile, because he felt guilty about causing his father’s death.

I did not pay attention to Simba’s answer (because I already knew that he was innocent). However, what caught my awareness was the angst that his Mother must have felt when even asking that question of her son whom she hadn’t seen in many years. It is difficult to imagine the struggle of a mother grieving the loss of her husband (who was dead) and her son (who was presumed dead), now wondering if the son killed his father…

The very word “Mother” evokes strong emotions in many of us – whether we are in that role ourselves, or whether we have relationships with those in that role. No matter our response to that word, it can rarely be denied that the struggles of Mothers have always been, and continue to be real. As children, we often tend to be unaware of their struggles, the juggling acts of the many roles performed by our Mothers (or those who played those roles in our lives).

Over the past few years, I have often asked some questions about the potential challenges that my many Mothers may have faced in their lives. What were their dreams when they were in middle-school? What kind of encouragement (or lack of it) did they face when they shared their dreams with their parents? Were they treated fairly at home and at school and after their marriage? What became of their aspirations and what are the real stories of their lives? How has technology changed the struggles of today’s mothers and children? How do the dreams and struggles of our Mothers affect our (spiritual) identity?

The answers to many of these questions about my Mothers’ struggles are lost to time. Fragments of these questions were answered in my Mothers’ many past letters to me, and in the stories that my Mothers’ mothers told me about them. However, many of the answers are revealed in the very current struggles of those who are being Mothers to others, right in front of our eyes. The generations may be new, but, as it has been said – a Mother’s work (and struggle) is rarely finished.

Mother’s Day can be a call to raising awareness – to be empathetic to Mothers’ (and childrens’) struggles, to listen to their dreams and aspirations, to encourage them to tell their stories, and to give them time to celebrate their victories. Mother’s Day can also be a celebration to allow our Universal Mother to ask the toughest of questions of us, her beloved children – we can answer by sharing our struggles, our dreams, our aspirations, with her.

Namaste,

Kumud

P.S. Join us Sunday May 12 at 9amET / 630pm India for our weekly twitter chat. I will bring fresh brewed tea and flowers… you can bring some stories and recipes to share – Namaste. Kumud

Spring – when the trees spread their flowers in welcome to every passer-by…

On Divine Mother(s)

Tags

divinity, energy, mothers, mothersday

Mother’s Day has often made for some very interesting chats in #SpiritChat on Twitter. I learnt while hosting my first such #MothersDay chat that, the very word, Mother, brings forth a range of very conflicting emotions in many – some of which can even evoke pain, fear and angst.

So, this year, I decided to adopt a different focus as related to the word, Mother. In Indian (spiritual) culture, particularly the Vedic (or Hindu) culture that I grew up in, there is a very powerful and prevalent concept of a “Divine Mother”. The three main manifestations of this concept are – the protector (Durga, or the fierce form), the benefactor (Lakshmi, or the prosperity form), and the educator (Saraswati, or the ‘easily flowing in speech’ form).

One would be hard pressed to walk into any Hindu home or place of worship without encountering one of these three forms of the Divine Mother – often referred to with the simple word, Devi. There are dozens of festivals dedicated to celebrate their various accomplishments and invoke their grace. There is scarcely any Vedic service that is complete without chanting and extolling that Devi whose energy flows through the Sun – she who is called Gayatri (another form of Saraswati).

 

I would not want you to infer that all of these forms of the Divine Mother imply a multiplicity of Mothers… for every child can only have One (birth) Mother, yes? And so it is with the Oneness of the core spiritual energy that flows through all the forms of Devi. For the nature of the water that is inherently pure, does not change based on the vessel within which it is contained, does it? We simply ascribe different qualities to the One, so that we can best relate to That form of the Divine Mother which best nourishes our heart and soul.

Let us pause and consider. If we were to choose one of the three – protector, benefactor or educator – which Divine Mother would we most relate to? Which form best nourishes our heart? What is our relationship with her like? How has that relationship changed over time and space? Are there any other qualities that distinguish our vision of a Divine Mother?

The Indian saint, Ramakrishna Parmahansa was said to have achieved enlightenment through his devotion to Kali (the really fierce form of Durga). He would often exclaim – “…why would I ever fear, when I have (Divine) Mother by my side all the time?”

Perhaps, some day, we can claim and exclaim the same, as our relationship with our (Divine) Mother, unfolds to that state. That, indeed, will be a Divine Mother’s Day to celebrate!

 

Kumud

P.S. Join the #SpiritChat community on Twitter, Sunday, May 13th at 9amET / 630pmIST. Share with us about your Divine #Mother(s). Namaste. (And for those interested in more on Devi, check out my ‘other’ blog at http://blog.eaglespace.com/tag/goddess 🙂 )

 

Keeper Of Our Stories

Tags

mothers, mothersday, spiritual practice, stories

Swami Tyagananda, the head monk of the Vedanta Society of Boston was our invited guest speaker for the third Foundation Day celebration of the Vedanta Society of Cleveland this weekend. His two lectures were titled “Do you remember?” (Friday) and “Keeper of our Stories” (Saturday). While I will share more about the ‘remembrance’ lecture at a later date, I will share a few thoughts on today’s talk.

In most cases, if we want to truly learn about the childhood of a friend or family member, it is best to ask their mother(s), yes? The mother is one individual who is a natural ‘keeper of our stories’. Their memory bank is full of our stumbles, our successes, our natural preferences our aptitudes, and much more. And they have a plethora of stories connected with the many phases of our life.

It is not necessary that the mother, the ‘keeper of stories’, be the birth mother. Indeed, in many cases, this is not the case. In many cases, the ‘keeper’ may initially be the birth mother, but then transition to a different ‘mother’ or even a ‘father’ at some stage in our lives. If were are truly fortunate, there may even be multiple ‘story keepers’ of our lives.

What may be important for our mental and spiritual health is to ask the ‘keeper’, at some stage in our lives, to tell us our own stories. It can create many wonderful moments of awareness, growth and add depth to relationships. Story-telling and listening can begin with as simple a question as – tell me a story about when I was in middle school? Do it sooner than later, because once the keeper’s gone, the stories will go with them…

There comes a stage in our lives when we, the children, have an opportunity to become ‘keepers of our parents stories’. A decade ago, on a trip to India, I happened to ‘interview’ my mother’s mother about the stories of her childhood, and my mother’s childhood. Grandma was a wonderful story-teller! As a result, that forty-five minute video has become one of the most cherished records in the family vault.

When our parents enter their second childhood, we have yet another opportunity to become ‘story keepers’. It gives us an opportunity to wonder – what were our mothers (or fathers) really like as children? How much do we know about their dreams, fears, best friends, food and clothing preferences when they were in kindergarten? In middle school? In high school? And so on…

The Swami extended a dual invitation to us today – to learn about our stories from those who keep them for us, and to become the keeper of stories of those who once kept ours. I share that invitation with you. Share some stories. Be a keeper and a giver. It’s a great way to celebrate life.

Kumud @AjmaniK

Join our weekly twitter chat held Sunday May 14th, 2017 with the #SpiritChat community. Bring your stories to share about your childhood, and the ones who kept them. Namaste.

The Keeper of (my) Stories…

Mothers, Levity and Laughter

Tags

laughter, levity, motherhood, mothers, mothersday

For many adults, the connection of mothers and motherhood to levity and laughter is not easy to find. In the complexity and gravity of the mother-child relationships, the lighter side often gets obscured, if not lost. But, if we dig a bit deeper into our awareness, the flower-seeds of our mother’s laughter is indeed to be discovered. We may have to go back to our mother’s childhood, as is revealed in the poetry of Rabindranath Tagore:

“Where have I come from, where did you pick me up?“ the baby asked its mother.

She answered half crying, half laughing, and clasping the baby to her breast —

You were hidden in my heart as its desire, my darling.

You were in the dolls of my childhood’s games;

In all my hopes and my loves, in my life, in the life of my mother you have lived.

In the lap of the deathless Spirit who rules our home you have been nursed for ages.

When in girlhood my heart was opening its petals, you hovered as a fragrance about it.

Your tender softness bloomed in my youthful limbs, like a glow in the sky before the sunrise.

Heaven’s first darling, twin-born with the morning light, you have floated down the stream of the world’s life, and at last you have stranded on my heart.

As I gaze on your face, mystery overwhelms me; you who belong to all have become mine.

– Rabindranath Tagore in The Crescent Moon

So, what if we were to go back to the moment when our mother was born. To imagine her as a young toddler, learning to walk, full of life and laughter and play. To think of her as a teenager trying to find her place in the world, with all the hopes and dreams that come with being ‘oh so young’ and naive. What if we were to think of her as she experienced her first ‘falling in and love’ and her ‘first heart-break’? Were her fears and hopes and prayers that much different than what we have for those that we ourselves hold dear to our heart? Surely, she laughed and cried and walked barefoot in the grass and smiled the same way at the first onset of spring’s flowers as we do today.

But then, something changed when the spirit of That girl started feeling the effects of the added responsibilities of life – and That spirit full of life and laughter, of defying gravity, of wearing flowers in her hair and singing like nobody was listening, of dancing in the first monsoon rain like nobody was watching – got buried somewhere deep under the weight of that single word. Mother. For not every girl is adequately equipped to treat that word with levity and unbridled joy.

And how do I know that all of this levity and laughter was within Her all along? I know it from the sparkle in her tone when she would ask me about her granddaughter during our weekly phone calls. I know it from the friends that she used to ‘card-shark’ during her weekly games of gin-rummy (yes, they told me all about it – your secret is out, Mom :)). I know it from her delight in eating fresh strawberries and chikki on our day trips into the local mountain resorts of Mahableshwar and Khandala. I know it from the stories they – my birth mother and her sister who raised me – shared about their childhood days in Lahore and Chandni Chowk…

The gravity and responsibility that surrounds ‘motherhood’ often forms many an opaque layer that hides the levity and laughter of the girls and boys (their surely are many fathers in ‘mother’ roles). Maybe it is up to us to poke some holes in these layers and shine a different, lighter light through them. If we still have the opportunity, we can invite our mothers to tell us some of their ‘young girl’ stories… and tell them some of ours.

For, in every new story told, like every new spring rain, lies the potential for new seeds of love and laughter to grow.

Thank you Mom, for telling me some of your stories. I can pass on your childhood pranks to your granddaughter 🙂

Namaste,

Kumud

P.S. Join us Sunday, May 8th 2016 at 9amET(USA)/1pmUTC for our weekly twitter chat in #SpiritChat – bring some light-hearted stories about your mother. If you are a ‘mother’, bring some light-hearted stories about your motherhood. Thank you, and enjoy the flowers 🙂

A beautiful, related post, full of light and levity – by @LisaLKahn – My Mother’s Sanctuary

Spirituality and Mothers

Tags

motherhood, mothers, mothersday, spiritchat, spirituality

For those of us who have had the good fortune of experiencing positive, loving relationships with our mothers (including those who played maternal roles for us), the word “mother” brings up warm, loving, nourishing feelings. As one who has had many such maternal influences in my life, I am one of those fortunate ones. The spiritual influence of mothers in my life is unmistakable – my birth mother, the mother who raised me for fourteen years, all the way through past high school and in my undergraduate years, and the various other aunts and grandmothers who were (and remain) an integral part of my life.

In addition to the “mothers of relation”, I have had meetings with “spiritual mothers”. My recent meeting with Mother Meera had a deep impact on me, and the positive energy and vibrations transmitted during that meeting still lingers within. Multiple meetings and meditation retreats with Mother Karunamayi, have had a wonderful positive impact in furthering me on the spiritual path. The various festivals in Hinduism that honor, celebrate and venerate the “Mother Godess(es)”, some of them lasting for a week or more at a time, serve to nourish and grow the faith seeds of the “divine Mother” planted early on in childhood.

So, in this background and context, one may say that I mostly wear “rose-colored glasses” when it comes to viewing Mothers in general. However, as has been made abundantly and painfully clear to me in #SpiritChat conversations in previous #MothersDay chats, there are many who associate this single word, Mother, with fear, anger, hurt, trepidation and disappointment. Their heart and spirit bears the scars of hurt and pain from inappropriate and/or inadequate experiences with their maternal influencers. Some of them have had the courage to overcome, but some of them continue to struggle to forgive and/or overcome the hurt and pain. In addition, there are many mothers who have borne the pain of bereeavement – the loss of a child.

One aspect that was pointed out to me during previous #SpiritChats on #MothersDay (May 2014, May 2013, May 2012) – the notion of maternal influence is not based to a particular gender, or even age. Very often, fathers end up playing the roles of mothers, and young children may play mothering roles to their younger siblings. For those of us who are taking care of older parents, some of us find ourselves “mothering our mothers”! So, it is apparent that in our fast changing and fast paced world, the notion of “being a mother” is indeed fluid, and rapidly changing.

Why does the word ‘mother’ invoke such strong emotions in many of us? What role(s) come to your mind, when you think of the word “Mother”? On balance, what has been the (spiritual) impact of your maternal influencers on your life so far? How may mothers and children help each other in the healing process? If you were to “write a letter” to future mothers from the perspective of a child, what would you say?

In closing, I invite you, to reflect on the idea, the notion, the spirit of Mothers and Motherhood – how has it affected you, how does the effect transmit through you to others, and more. Please share your thoughts in a blog post, in the comments here, or in our live twitter chat in #SpiritChat on Sunday, May 10th at 9amET/1pmUTC (#MothersDay in the USA).

Namaste,

Kumud

On Mothering and Healing

Tags

forgiveness, healing, mothering, mothers, mothers day, spirituality

Mother. Mama. Mom. Mae. Mata. Ma.

That single word can spring forth a range of emotions for many of us. While some of us may get wrapped in a blanket of warm emotions at the mention of that word, some of us may broke out into a cold sweat. When I first hosted a Mother’s Day twitter chat in #SpiritChat (in May 2012), I was taken by surprise by how many participants actually fell into the “cold sweat” and negative emotions category. I have to admit that I (perhaps naively) believed till that point in time that everyone fell into the former “warm emotions” category. But I was wrong.

I was fortunate to have a lot of positive mothering (and grand-mothering) influences during my childhood. My birth mother, my aunt who raised me for fourteen years, my many aunts (mostly from my mother’s side), my maternal grandmother and so on – every single one of them had an overwhelmingly positive influence on my upbringing. No, it wasn’t all fun and games and warm fuzzies all the time. There were a lot of lessons on accountability, responsibility, integrity, honesty and more taught along the way. There were even times when, say, like every teenager, there was rebellion, disagreement, and outright refusal to listen. 

Regardless, when all is said and done and I look back – the influences in shaping me to become who I am today were the mothering ones. Yes, the fathering influences were always present – more in a quiet, stabilizing way. It was the mothering influences that were responsible for providing nourishment, inspiration, motivation and encouragement. So yes, when I started discovering – through social media and otherwise – that not every individual has had the same experience as I have had with mothers and their mothering, my bubble was indeed burst. 

And it made me think and consider – why is it that some mothers and their mothering is so different than the ‘ideal’ that is ‘painted’ for us by society? Is it because some women are thrust into motherhood when they are not quite ready? Or is it because our modern, mostly nuclear society, creates insurmountable obstacles and unrealistic expectations for today/s mothers? How are the sons and daughters who have had a less than positive experience with their mothers and/or mothering expected to overcome this negative burden that they carry if they are expected to silence their voices and feelings? 

Of course, the fact that some of us have had positive experiences with mothers and mothering – in our roles as children and parents – will give hope to those who haven’t been so ‘fortunate’. In addition, we can do our part in transforming our ‘negative’ into neutral, and lay the foundation for future positive experiences. How so? We can begin with a decision. A decision to forgive all those inv

olved (including ourselves, if that be the case) for the past.  I did that twenty years ago in a no-holds-barred conversations with my own birth mother, and it has made a huge difference in my life.  

Yes, it takes courage to forgive, but I believe that all of us do have the latent courage to forgive. We just have to step up and make the decision to do so. This single decision of forgiveness is important, not only for healing the past, but for planting good seeds for our future experiences as we happen to influence others with our own mothering influence(s). I happen to believe that it can also open the door for all of the blessings of the Universal, Divine Mother to flow in our spiritual life. 

In closing, I invite you to share your mothering experiences with us in the usual Sunday #SpiritChat at 9am ET on May 11th, in the comments below, in a blog post that you write about the influence of Mothering on you, and in how you celebrate your own Mothering influences on others. And yes, if you decide to make that important decision to forgive, we all surely want to hear about that too! 

Namaste, and thank you to all my Moms 🙂 

Kumud

P.S. If you have read this far, I invite you to alsoread the May 2013 post about mothers – it covers many diverse aspects of mothers and mothering. About children mothering mothers. single mothers, fathers as mothers, and much more…

Spiritchat – May Conversations

Tags

courage, mothers, truth

The month of May began with a discussion about courage. This was a topic that seemed to bring out a lot of diverse views on the nature of courage, its relationship to fear, our sources of courage and role-models of courage for us. The take-away question for this chat was

What is one thing you would do in the near future if you could gather enough courage?

So, now that we have had a few weeks to think about it – do you feel any different about courage? If you were present for that live tweetchat, or you read the transcript later – did it give you more courage to attempt a particular task that you had been putting off?

The second chat of the month of May was a difficult chat for some – the topic was about Mothers and spiritual caregivers. I learnt during the chat that there are a lot of folks out there who feel a wide range of emotions about the topic of Mothers. Some did not have any motherly figures growing up, but they are making great efforts to be good mothering figures themselves. Some have made peace with their relationship with their mothers and some are still struggling with it.

Yes, it was a tough chat – but examining tough topics can only make us grow spiritually. For they perhaps connect us with issues that may have been buried or neglected over the years. The take-away or final question for this chat was

What would you say to your mother (or those you mother) – that you haven’t said before?

The third week of May was a discussion about truth. A few folks interpreted it as a chat about Truth (with a capital T). We discussed the importance of being truthful, where we get our truths, the idea of universal truths and some ways in which truth can be communicated. This was another interesting and open discussion because a lot of different facets and interpretations of truth and Truth were shared by the participants. The takeaway question for this chat was

What truths will you put into practice in the near future to serve others?

So, to summarize the month of May – we talked about courage, mothers and truth. Three topics that have inspired many essays and books over the years, and have a lot of connection(s) to each other. For example, what is the connection between courage and truth? What did your mother (or you as a mother or caregiver) teach you about courage? Or truth? And so on.

The more reliable the word, the more secure and fruitful the communication.

Come join us in #SpiritChat on Sunday May 27th 2012 at our regular time of 9am ET/1pm GMT as we discuss the connection between these three topics. We will also talk about June and what spiritual adventures it may bring our way 🙂 What else can we discuss? Share with us in the comments below. Thank you!

Kumud

Update: Here is the html transcript http://bit.ly/sc-tr-0527 and questions – thank you to all who shared in the discussion on courage, mothers and truth! (Here is an alternate pdf link for the transcript). Some stats – 5M+ impressions reaching 500K+ followers through 1100+ tweets and 110+ contributors. Thank you all!

Q1. What is the connection between courage and truth? #SpiritChat 

Q2. How do we know if our connection between courage and truth is broken? How do we fix it? #SpiritChat 

Q3. What kind of courage do we need for service to others? For sacrifice? #SpiritChat 

Q4. Did your #mother figures model truth and/or courage? If yes, how did they model it? #SpiritChat 

Q5. If you were allowed to hold onto only one #truth after today, what would you choose? #SpiritChat 

Q6. How do we honor the memory of those who acted with #courage to serve us? #SpiritChat 

Q7. Takeaway. What is one thing you will take forward from our May discussions - to grow spiritually in June? #SpiritChat