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Tag Archives: self-reliance

A Spirit of Humility

19 Saturday Jul 2014

Posted by AjmaniK in Uncategorized

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

acceptance, humilty, self-reliance, spiritchat, spirituality

Four weeks ago in this space, we had a conversation about the spirit of self-reliance. Eight weeks ago, we, the #SpiritChat community, engaged in a conversation about acceptance. This week, we broach the subject of humility, while keeping the concepts of acceptance and self-reliance in mind. 

So, in the context of our spiritual journey, what is humility? Some may define it as being related to “letting-go”, in the vein of “self-surrender”. Some may define it as modesty or a “shrinking of the ego”, such that it reduces our own sense of “self-importance”. Having grown up in the East, and now lived in the West for more than half my life, I have observed that humility which leads to acceptance, seems to come more readily to those with a spiritual bent of heart than those with a scientific, proof-seeking bent of mind. This is not about a battle between Spirituality and Science – in fact, it is quite the opposite – but that’s a different conversation 🙂

This is not to say that humility, per se is a virtue, in all conditions. In what situations is humility not a virtue? Some of my good friends have argued with me (on and off of social media) about the fact that a false sense of humility does harm to our self-esteem, our self-reliance, our sense of acceptance. And I would agree. If we act in a humble way in order to merely impress others, in order to flaunt our humility as a virtue, we are simply refusing to live our own truth. No amount of humility can cover the façade of living an inauthentic life. 

Regardless of what we may think about the virtues or non-virtues of humility, some enlightened Masters – well, those that I consider enlightened anyway – have stressed the role of humility in the master/teacher/sensei and student relationship. Approaching a teacher with a humble attitude of learning, lowers our ego barriers and puts us in a position to receive. Without humility, the energy flow, the energy transfer, encounters excessive resistance, and the current flows poorly. My grandmother used to say – when it rains (blessings) on us, we cannot collect rain with a closed fist; we have to open our palms, put them in a humble, receiving mode, to receive the blessings!

Yes, humility can put us in a position to let the energy of those who may have the ability to influence and help us, help us. On the other hand, I wonder if all of this talk of humility is perhaps anathema to the often praised virtues phrased as “self-cultivation”, “individual achievement”, “pursuit of excellence”, and more. If it is anathema, can we somehow, albeit temporarily, lower our own sense of self, take a deep breath and step back a little from our sense of self-importance? What would we stand to gain in the process? How would our friends and families benefit from our practice of humility? How would our communities benefit?

In a book on Yoga entitled “Light on Life”, BKS Iyengar states that the reason we are often advised to “take a deep breath” is so that we can follow that deep breath with a deep exhalation. It is in that exhalation that we practice a little bit of self-surrender, a bit of humility, as we come to the awareness that we need the next breath, in order to sustain life. No matter how adept we may become at “holding our breath”, we have to eventually exhale. Or, the emotional toxins will accumulate in our bodies – the toxins that I call R.A.G.E. – Resentment, Anger, Greed, Envy, and perhaps more.

“Exhalation empties the brain, and pacifies the ego, bringing it to quiescent humility. Exhalation is a sacred act of surrender, of self-abandonment.” – BKS Iyengar (Light on Life)

A quiescent humility. A surrender. A self-abandonment.  We can live it with every breath, if we choose to do so. Will  we?

Kumud

P.S. I invite you to join me and the #SpiritChat community on twitter on Sunday July 20th at 9am ET  / 2pm UK / 6:30pm India. We will have a conversation about humility, take a few deep breaths, and exhale! If you are not able to join the live chat, I invite you to share your thoughts on humility in the comments below. Namaste, and Be Well. 

The Spirit of Self-Reliance

21 Saturday Jun 2014

Posted by AjmaniK in Uncategorized

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Tags

reliance, self-reliance, spiritchat, spirituality

One of the main strengths of a community, and being a vital, contributing part of that community, is the concept of reliance – the idea that others will be available to you when needed and that you will be available to them when they may need you. This idea may create the notion of dependence in some members of the community, and when taken too far, it can affect the health of the individual and community in a negative way. However, I tend to think of reliance as something beyond dependence. I tend to think that reliance has roots in trust, not dependence. 

In the research areas that I work in for my occupation, reliance is an important aspect as we often work in teams where every team member has a certain area of expertise. There are team leaders, researchers who are ‘experts’ in physics, chemistry, programming and such, and hands-on engineers who have very specialized knowledge about different parts of an aircraft (or rocket) engine. The teams that I have been a part of, and those that tend to perform well, as judged by their ability to meet their milestones, are the ones where there is an implicit reliance – seeded in trust – among team members. 

The teams where there is constant questioning (for the sake of argumentativeness), where there is too much dependence among some members, where there is too much navel-gazing – fail to build trust and invariably struggle to deliver and meet their goals. Such teams may survive and come back on track with strong leadership and some rearrangement, but the weak roots eventually end up “killing the tree” and the teams end up being disbanded. So, what does Self-Reliance have to do with all of this? 

I thought you would never ask. Every team member or community member, at some point in time, has to take personal responsibility, to “carry their own weight”. Yes, the fabric of the team, the family, the community is present to support them. But, if our individual thread is  weak due to a lack of self-belief, a lack of self-confidence, a damaged self-image, a lack of self-reliance on our own core strength – then it is tough for others to trust us or rely on us, yes?

So, what factors affect our own self-reliance? How do we prevent self-reliance from turning into over-confidence? Can too much self-reliance lead us to a “lone ranger” mentality? At what point does self-reliance hinder our ability to ask for help from others? How do we balance self-reliance with trust of others which fosters our involvement in teams and communities? Does self-reliance prevent us from seeking universal guidance and assistance? 

If you have read this far, I trust I have given you reason to pause and reflect on the concept of self-reliance. I invite you to join me and the #SpiritChat community on twitter, in a conversation about the “Spirit of Self Reliance” on Sunday June 22nd at 9amET (USA) / 2pm UK / 6:30pm India. 

Namaste, and be well,

Kumud

The complete transcript for the chat is available at http://bit.ly/sc-tr-0622 and the hand-crafted storify summary will be available soon – thank you to all who listened, shared and contributed! Enjoy! 

Here are the questions asked during the chat… via @AjmaniK (on twitter)

Ready? Q1. Self reliance – what does it mean to you in the current context of your life? #SpiritChat

http://twitter.com/AjmaniK/status/480698355514093568

On to Q2. What are some ‘friends’ of #SelfReliance? Any ‘Enemies’? Or Frenemies? 🙂 #SpiritChat

http://twitter.com/AjmaniK/status/480699692263960576

Q3. How does our self-reliance relate to pride? Does it affect our ability to trust? #SpiritChat

http://twitter.com/AjmaniK/status/480701446384783361

Q4. What life experiences made you feel more self-reliant? Less self-reliant? #SpiritChat

http://twitter.com/AjmaniK/status/480702673063538688

Q5. “Self reliance is an aversion to conformity” – Agree or disagree? Why? #SpiritChat

http://twitter.com/AjmaniK/status/480704389695668224

Q6. How is self-reliance related to responsibility, spiritual growth? Do we need more or less? #SpiritChat

http://twitter.com/AjmaniK/status/480706159901671424

Q7. How do self-reliant people influence the teams, communities that they belong to? #SpiritChat

http://twitter.com/AjmaniK/status/480707542994395136

Q8. “No (wo)man is an island”. How can self-reliance and connectivity coexist? #SpiritChat

http://twitter.com/AjmaniK/status/480708592119853056

Final Q9. To those seeking better #SelfReliance through action, you would say…. #SpiritChat

http://twitter.com/AjmaniK/status/480709971362205697

//storify.com/ajmanik/spirit-of-self-reliance-spiritchat-summary/embed?header=false&border=false
//storify.com/ajmanik/spirit-of-self-reliance-spiritchat-summary.js?header=false&border=false

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