On Time and Heart Space

Tags

family, heart, letting go, patience, reason, space, time

A few months ago, I started hearing the word in fragments of mother-daughter conversations in my home. She had been physically out of school since spring break this year, and we had been mostly self-quarantined for several months until school officially ended towards the end of May. No summer camp. No meeting up with friends. No getting together with cousins. I guess, somewhere along the line, she decided that the home – or rather she, wanted another dog to give her and our seven year old puppy some company.

And so her search started with online portals, spreading the word among her friends, calling local shelters and so on. Her  requirements were fairly stringent and that shortened the list of possibilities considerably. Almost every other day, Mom would help her put in adoption applications when there was a “match” online. A few days later the email would come, saying that the “match” had already been adopted. Week after week, I could see her getting more and more disheartened. 

“Give it some time, honey. Be patient, and it will happen. The puppy you are supposed to get will show up.” Supposedly comforting words from a Dad who had tried to discourage her from the idea from the very beginning. I wasn’t sure that she was “ready” for another dog in the house. More like I was the one who wasn’t ready. So, after eight weeks of this roller coaster of applying and being denied, it seemed like she let the idea go for a few weeks. Mom kept making phone calls, leaving messages for folks.

Then, one lady from Indiana called back on July 1st afternoon and said – yes, there is availability. Possibility. Hope. 

So, we decided that we were going to make an eight hour roundtrip to see if things would work out. A few hours later, another phone call. A lady whom my wife had called six weeks ago was on the phone. She said that one of her puppies was ready to be re-homed. In the course of the conversation, we came to know that our current seven year old had the same bloodline as the one that she was trying to get re-homed. Not only that, she lived two hours away and she could bring the puppy to our home the next day as she was going to be passing through Cleveland on a road-trip to north-west Ohio. 

Too good to be true, yes? If I hadn’t been witness to all of it myself, I would have said “no way” too. The combination of yielding time and space to a heart set on a love-driven desire can allow for the universe to work in our favor. On July 3rd 2020, virtually seven years to the day that we adopted “Tucker” ( who was renamed “Bubbles”), we received his sister “Flower” (who was renamed “Bindi”). Unfettered joy, some tears, a lot of broken sleep patterns, and a huge rearranging of our lives has happened in the past week. 

In the small, last minute Zoom meeting on Friday, I asked Lucille – so, what’s new with you? I hadn’t told them any of this story yet. She said, “I just got finished reading the book – ‘When the Heart Waits’ – by Sue Monk Kidd. She talks about giving yourself the ‘chrysalis time’ in your life – time to let the caterpillar develop into the butterfly (of creativity).” How appropriate, I thought. Giving yourself time, allowing the universe to work in harmony with you when you sometimes feel as if the whole world is conspiring against you, your heart and your goals and dreams…

Chrysalis time for the heart and its space, the heartspace that is our constant companion. I dug up an Osho essay where he spoke about time, reason (the mind), and the heart:

Time exists only for the mind, for reason. For the heart there is no time; the heart exists in timelessness. So, the mind insists on haste, hurry, urgency – and the mind becomes tense. Things should happen instantly – such is the insistence of reason. But the heart knows no time, there are no clocks for it. That is why the heart exists timelessly and it can wait — infinitely. — Osho in Vedanta – The Art of Dying

So, here we are. Life teaches us so many lessons. It invites us to listen with the heart, to allow for our heartspace to simply be timeless. Timelessness invites us to disengage from the daily conflict of opposites. In timelessness, the heart of the caterpillar learns to rest in, allow for chrysalis time.

Kumud

P.S. After a few days, Bubbles and Bindi are starting to play together. His heart has accepted that Bindi is here to stay, that she is part of the family. All of us look forward to their football-like scrimmages at all hours of the day. He may outweigh here by a factor of five (that won’t last long!), but that doesn’t deter her from taking him on with the youthful heart and dynamic energy of one who knows not much about reason, time or space. 

P.P.S I invite you to join our weekly twitter conversation on Sunday, July 12 at 9amET in #SpiritChat. I may share a puppy photo or two with you, and give you the daily update of puppy mayhem. Yes, there will be questions and tea and cookies. It will be good to see some of you after a week’s hiatus… – @AjmaniK

Bubbles – the result, so far, of seven years of all-heart

The Heart of Holding Space

Tags

community, freedom, heart, space

“Have we ever had a #SpiritChat on the idea of ‘holding space’?”

The minute Lucille asked this question as we were close to wrapping up the hour of the #SpiritChat monthly video get-together, I knew that she had brought forth the topic for the weekly chat. My immediate answer was to say, “no, we haven’t ever discussed that as a topic — but, it is one of my favorite phrases and ideas to practice!”. In fact, I had benefitted from practicing it just the previous day. 

A few weeks ago, I had received an invite to attend a meeting at 8:30am on Thursday morning. My first reaction was to respond  that I wouldn’t be able to attend because of another scheduled meeting. However, when I read the agenda, it was to review the by-laws of the Parents’ Association of my daughter’s school. I thought, this is really important, and maybe the other meeting will get moved. So, I found myself responding with — “I am not sure, but please hold space for me as I am going to do my best to attend”.

Unbeknownst to me, the organizers must have done just that. Thursday morning came and I was running behind because my daughter woke up with a nasty cold. I hadn’t even showered or shaved yet, and it was time to leave, if I was going to make it in time. As I got ready to text the organizer that I wasn’t going to be able to make it, a thought passed across my heart. What if they are actually ‘holding space’ for me, just like I asked them to?

So, I put my phone away, brushed my teeth (yes, this was an IRL meeting, not a twitter chat :)), put some clothes on and drove the short distance through the sleet that was falling quickly and icing up the roads. Four smiling faces, including the broadest of smiles of a little baby girl that one of the Mom’s had brought with her, greeted me with the words – “we are so glad you are here”. 

In that instant, I knew that they were not looking at my unshaven face or my uncoordinated clothes that I had thrown together. It reminded me of something my maternal grandmother used to say and practice — “ बेटा जी, जगह इंसान के लिए दिल में होनी चाहिए – फिर सभी अपने होते हैं, कोई मेहमान नहीं होता।” My dear one, when we learn to make space in the heart for others, then there are no guests — the whole world becomes our family. 

So much truth wisdom in Grandma’s words, don’t you think? How often do we forsake the opportunity of ‘holding space’ or ‘creating space’ for others because of how we think we may be perceived by them? How often do we forsake ‘holding space’ for own selves because of how we think about ourself? And yet, if we take our eyes off of ourselves, we can then embrace the attitude of ‘holding space’.  Our heart can open to the idea that ‘we need to take care of each other, be kind to each other’.

So, here we are. We have some decisions to make, some questions to ponder. What is it that prevents us from ‘holding space’ in our hearts for some, but not for ‘others’? Despite filling ourselves with so much, why do we occasionally feel ‘empty’? What is the spiritual benefit of holding space (and time) for each other and for our own selves?

Here are some possibilities. In ‘holding space’ in our heart, the whole world can become ‘us’, not ‘them’. When there is no separation of us and them, we are in fact creating true freedom, aren’t we? In this freedom, real exploration of the vastness of inner space can truly begin — we may yet discover that the infinite has been forever holding loving space for us.

Kumud

P.S. Thank you, Lucille Fisher (@sageandsavvy) for this week’s grand question, and inspiration for our Sunday Feb 9 twitter chat in #SpiritChat at 9amET / 2pm GMT / 730pm India. I invite all of you to join us in this community that has been holding space for each other for many years. Namaste – @AjmaniK

 

Flowers, in various stages of flowering, held by Nature’s loving space… 

Creating Space for Inviting Grace

Tags

grace, space, spirituality

Some notes on “Creating Space, Inviting Grace” – the #SpiritChat conversation on twitter on Sunday, February 23rd, drew heavily from these notes…

Grace is not part of consciousness; it is the amount of light in our souls, not knowledge nor reason. -Pope Francis

For his heart was in his work, and the heart giveth grace unto every art. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Hawaii is not a state of mind, but a state of grace. -Paul Theroux

“Will is to grace as the horse is to the rider” -St Augustine

Grace is but glory begun, and glory is but grace perfected. -Jonathan Edwards

The law condemns the best of us; but grace saves the worst of us. -Joseph Prince

“Grace is given to heal the spiritually sick, not to decorate spiritual heroes” – Martin Luther

“If one has to submit, it is wasteful not to do so with the best grace possible” – Winston Churchill

“Grace is the absence of everything that indicates pain or difficulty, hesitation or incongruity.” – William Hazlitt

“Grace is to the body, what good manners are to the mind” – Rochefoucauld

“Grace is available for each of us every day – our spiritual daily bread – but we’ve got to remember to ask for it with a grateful heart and not worry about whether there will be enough for tomorrow.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

“Grace was in all her steps, Heav’n in her Eye, In every gesture dignity and love” – John Milton

“The graces once made up their mind – A shrine inviolate to find: And thus they found, and that with ease, The soul of Aristophanes” – Plato

“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott

“You are so weak. Give up to grace. The ocean takes care of each wave till it gets to shore. You need more help than you know.” – Rumi

I know, to banish anger altogether from one’s breast is a difficult task. It cannot be achieved through pure personal effort. It can be done only by God’s grace. -Mahatma Gandhi

“Grace is a power that comes in and transforms a moment into something better” ― Caroline Myss

Faith is a living, daring confidence in God’s grace, so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times. – Martin Luther

We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers. -Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Grace is the beauty of form under the influence of freedom. -Friedrich Schiller

The meaning of life. The wasted years of life. The poor choices of life. God answers the mess of life with one word: ‘grace.’ -Max Lucado

“A single gentle rain makes the grass many shades greener. So our prospects brighten on the influx of better thoughts. We should be blessed if we lived in the present always, and took advantage of every accident that befell us, like the grass which confesses the influence of the slightest dew that falls on it; and did not spend our time in atoning for the neglect of past opportunities, which we call doing our duty. We loiter in winter while it is already spring.” ― Henry David Thoreau, Walden

“Grace has to be the loveliest word in the English language. It embodies almost every attractive quality we hope to find in others. Grace is a gift of the humble to the humiliated. Grace acknowledges the ugliness of sin by choosing to see beyond it. Grace accepts a person as someone worthy of kindness despite whatever grime or hard-shell casing keeps him or her separated from the rest of the world. Grace is a gift of tender mercy when it makes the least sense.” ― Charles R. Swindoll

Here are the questions asked during the live chat. The answers are compiled in the #storify summary at http://storify.com/ajmanik/creating-space-for-grace-spiritchat. A full, complete transcript is also available at https://www.hashtracking.com/reports/spiritchat/spiritchat/grace (1542 tweets, 163 contributors, 12.4M timeline deliveries, 1.0M reach). Enjoy!

Here goes. Q1. “Creating space” – in what life-context does that phrase most impact you today? #SpiritChat

On to Q2. How can we create space in our lives to receive…? Can we? What if we don’t? #SpiritChat

Q3. Does our “creating space” eventually “invite grace”? What is Grace anyway? #SpiritChat

Q4. This feeling of “Divine Grace” – have you ever felt it in a significant way? How? #SpiritChat

Q5. “Divine Grace and Free Will compete with each other”. Agree or Disagree? Why or why not? #SpiritChat

Q6. We work. We give. We serve. We may even pray… So, why do we need Grace on our spiritual journey? #SpiritChat

Q7. What is the connection between Grace and Giving… How can we give it to others? #SpiritChat

Final Q8. To invite others to “create space for grace”, what three things would you suggest? #SpiritChat

Creating and Holding Space by @CandaceG222 for #SpiritChat

Tags

creativity, space, spiritchat

We continue our “Summer Series” for our weekly Sunday morning #SpiritChat conversations with Candace G.. Candace’s basic philosophy in life is to live from a positive standpoint, even during tough times. Every day she finds a reason to smile, and she truly believes that we can learn something from everyone we meet, whether it’s in person, or in the virtual world!! Please enjoy this post from Candace.

Regardless of what our life purpose is, I think that a large portion of it is creating and holding space for others. Sometimes this is as simple as being an active listener, but no matter how we offer this gift, it’s always something unique and special for each of us.

In some situations, holding space for a person is akin to anchoring the thin rope they are clinging to, preventing them from an otherwise inevitable crash. We can hold space for others in a myriad of ways, it’s just a matter of opening our hearts to the possibilities!

Just as we can’t love someone if we don’t love ourselves, we can’t create this sacred space for someone else if we don’t already do it for ourselves. The question is what do we fill the space in our lives with? What do we need to make more space for?

And how does this connect with creativity? I see us as beings that channel creative energy, but sometimes we fill those channels with junk. How does self-awareness come into play with all of this?

We need to consciously create room in our lives to optimize the flow of this creative energy, and on many levels…mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. Although this sounds wonderful, it usually involves changes that are difficult, and this sometimes feels negative.

How can we serve others along this same line, whether it’s at work, home, or with strangers who cross our path?

As we prepare for our chat on Sunday, I thought the following quote would be a great way to get us thinking about creating and holding space:

“Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.“ ~ Eckhart Tolle

I’m looking so forward to our chat on Sunday! I hope to see you all there!

In Light and Love,

Connect with Candace on her blog
Connect with Candace on Twitter

I hope you enjoyed this post written for our weekly #SpiritChat discussion by Candace G.. I invite you to join Candace and me for a conversation on twitter in #SpiritChat – Sunday, July 21st at 9amET! Thank you – Kumud.