Align and Shine

Tags

alignment, compassion, spiritual practice

Align and Shine – by Dr. Christy Johnson

During #SpiritChat on the topic of Loyalty earlier this year, I tweeted “Still not a fan of the word #loyalty, I vote for alignment – aligning to self, others, and the highest good of all“ as my answer to one of the questions. After that tweet, Kumud challenged me to host a chat about alignment, which led me here.

I believe a driving force behind each of our earthly incarnations is to embrace our authentic selves. The idea is to accept our messy, imperfect humanness despite the contrast with our soul-level perfection. Via self-alignment, we can shine more brilliantly and vibrantly as whatever may block our light gets removed. Self-alignment also illuminates the evolutionary path for those who can see and hear us, those who are aligned to us.

As part of my own explorations, I took three different extensive Mindful Self-Compassion courses starting in late 2017. I tried and tried Mindful Self-Compassion practices, believing if I just stuck with them, something would shift but finally after a year and a half I realized it isn’t something I align to deeply. Aha! So Mindful Self-Compassion joins other powerful but not aligned to me approaches like acupuncture, Ayurveda, and Transcendental Meditation.

Giving myself permission to release Mindful Self-Compassion from my daily practices relieves me from unconsciously pushing to make it “work” and frees time and energy for what does align. Now I feel lighter and freer and have found ways to apply my healing modalities to the issues at hand. Through this evolution, I’ve become more self-aligned, which is precisely the point of Mindful Self-Compassion!

As your evolution deepens and strengthens, you also align to the highest good of all. Self-aligning more fully frees energy that gets reabsorbed in the world and also models the power of alignment.

How do we find what aligns? What are the clues? How do we know what either doesn’t align or has passed its expiration date? Ever notice how effortless life becomes when you’re aligned to what you want to be doing? Alignment leads to flow and flow, in turn, supports alignment. What resonates also energizes us. When we align, we shine.

Please come to share and shine on Sunday, March 24th at 9 A.M. EDT on Twitter with hashtag #SpiritChat.

Host Bio: Dr. Christy Johnson quit her decades-long engineering career in 2010 to open her own integrative energy healing practice. She helps clients overcome life challenges and also align with themselves, others, and their highest good via soul level information, energy healing, and empowering self-help tools. You can connect with her via her website www.intuitiveheal.com , on Twitter @IntuitiveHeal and on her YouTube channel.

Editor’s Note: Thank you, Christy, for taking up the ‘alignment’ challenge and stepping up to host the weekly chat on Sunday. I am sure that it is going to be a wonderful opportunity for many to ‘Align and Shine’! Namaste. – Kumud

Spiritual Hospitality by @llake

Tags

awareness, hospitality, spiritual practice, spirituality

 It’s 9:00 am. The toddlers are fed and playing quietly. The entire house is spotless. I look around and feel very accomplished. Time for a shower! Dinner guests are coming tonight. I want the evening to be extra special. My plan is perfect, and I’m on schedule. 

I skoosh down to talk to my kids to let them know I’m going in the shower and I’ll be out in 5 mins. (moms and dads have this down to a science) I ask them to please play quietly, and we’ll have snack time when I get out. 

I head into the shower feeling excited and confident that tonight will be epic! I get out of the shower. Dry off. Dress. And then the surprise hits. 

I look into the dining room, and indeed all three wee ones are playing quietly and happily. My son had gotten out his matchbox cars, bull dozers, and backhoes, and all three (under the age of 5) were playing in the dirt from around my large elephant tree. They had spread the dirt from one side of the hardwood floored room to the other. Inside I was extremely upset. I quietly (this is how my kids always knew I was really mad) told the elder two to go to their rooms. I didn’t want to see them. We would talk “later.” The littlest one I picked up and put in her highchair. I told her I didn’t want to hear one word. Not one. 

I wanted to cry. How in the world would I get this room clean again? I still had dinner to make. And how would I ever have time to get those kids cleaned up? 

Most of us have been in a relatable situation. We extend aninvitation. It feels right. Then when the day gets closer, we wonder “what was I thinking?” My house is dirty! What will I make for dinner? We begin to feel unaccomplished and “not enough.” Where is the joy?

Isn’t there supposed to be joy in offering hospitality? Isn’t hospitality supposed to be about serving others? Sharing what we have that others may also feel joy? 

In the moment of seeing dirt spread across the room, I was not feeling joyful. But wait. 

“Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.” 1 Peter 4:9 (NIV)

I remembered the looks on my babies’ faces as they looked up at me gleefully and showed me what they had done. After all, I had asked them to play quietly. The road configuration they had created was a masterpiece! 

My heart softened.

Hospitality is mentioned numerous times in the Bible. Every religion or spiritual guidance mentions hospitality and ways of ceremoniously expressing our joy by sharing with others. Why? What do we miss about being hospitable when we become obsessed with the “Pinterest” version of sharing what we have instead of the spirituality behind being hospitable? 

The truth is we don’t have to be in a specific location or have specific food – although, both add to the moment and it’s a nice gesture. The menu does not have to be spectacular. Our homes do not have to be the “Better Homes and Gardens” version of shiny and spectacular.

The spirituality of hospitality – the true meaning of hospitality – is when we put our guest first and be present with them. We focus on them. We love on them. We cause them to feel joyful in knowing they are appreciated and are special. They relax. Their pressures melt away. Love in action.  

– Lillian

Lillian is a Maine-based writer and compassion consultantwhose topics explore everything related to food, human trafficking, and caregiving. She is patiently honing three writing projects – a “love of home” cookbook, a collection of interviews with caregivers of all ages, and inspirational cards for children. In the summer of 2018, she swam a total of 2 miles to rescue a 70 yr old kayaker and push him and his kayak back to shore.

Editors Note: I am excited and honored to invite you to join Lillian Lake (@llake) as she hosts our weekly #SpiritChat on Twitter, Sunday March 3rd at 9amET / 730pm India. Please do join, and enjoy her wonderful heart-filled hospitality. Come. Sit. Stay. Namaste – Kumud

On Spiritual Essentials

Tags

essence, essentials, focus, spiritual practice

What is essential to life?

This question came to the forefront over the past few days. I was able to put together a string of walks in the local metro-parks this week, on many of my favorite trails. As I walked, this question came more and more into my heart’s front. What is essential for us to thrive? How do we separate the essential wheat from the seemingly inessential chaff?

One thing became clear. The sun is essential. There is no growth in nature without sunlight. The easiest way to kill growth is to shut off their supply of sun. No sun, no synthesis. Such is the truth of terrestrial plants. As humans, we often tend to shrivel, if not perish without the warmth that the energy of the Sun provides to us. This is not to say that solitude is inessential, for even in solitude, we are often seeking the light and warmth of our inner Sun.

What else? Water is essential. A clear flowing stream supplies a pure energy to everything that it touches, and inspires growth. Growth can and does happen in muddy, stagnant waters too, but it often requires much more energy than clean, clear waters. Water is known as the great cleanser, and many of us have a natural affinity to it. It is perhaps one reason why so many human civilizations tend to be located near rivers. Abundance flows in their vicinity.

Clean air is essential. Flora and fauna thrive better in the absence of pollution. The beauty of a flower that shines in the sun by the river, would surely be lot less joyful if it were covered with soot. Humans are the same way. The less ‘pollution’ that enters our mind, the less ‘cleaning’ we may have to do on a daily basis. Our heart’s filters are constantly being clogged by the soot of fear, anger, hate, and mistrust. We could all benefit from ‘clearing the air’.

I think you get the idea. The essential ‘things’ are those that keep the mind and the heart clear, so that we can absorb, grow and thrive in the supply of life-enriching air (thoughts), water (emotions) and sunshine (light). There are many other essentials, and we often only become aware of them when we feel their absence. Can you think of a few ‘essentials’ that have gone ‘missing’ in your life lately? When life’s ‘inessentials’ start to consume much more energy than the ‘essentials’, what is the result?

One result of forgetting what is essential is ‘conflict’. This message was delivered to me during a conversation with a respected elder this week. We were talking about the origin of ‘conflict’, and she said ~ “Conflict happens when we do everything but That which is essential”. It’s often easy to get mired in the inessential, for that is often the way of the ‘world’. It takes self-discipline, discernment and focus to stay true to, and act on the essentials of the ‘inner world’. The flower blooms, the flame burns, as long as it stays connected to the essentials.

May we stay connected to That essential, and thrive,

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. Join our twitter community for our weekly conversation, Sunday September 23rd at 9amET / 630pm India. We will discuss the role of “essentials’ in our life, and how we can stay focused on them in our (spiritual) life. Namaste.

Life’s Essentials… Essence of Life

The Power of Discernement

Tags

action, discernment, spiritual practice, yoga

We are often faced with the advice of “letting go” of certain things in our lives, so that we may be able to “lighten the load” and move forward on our path, whatever that may be at the moment. I have often, repeatedly, given this self-suggestion to myself – “let go of that which is weighing you down”. However, as all of you well know through direct experience, it is much easier said than done.

Why is the process of “letting go”, even of that which does not serve us well any more, and worse yet, may be actively or passively causing us and those around us much pain, distress, and even outright harm – so difficult to act upon?

One possibility is that we cannot seem to bring ourselves to what we believe to be correct action, is that our power of discernment has been weakened. What is discernment? One simple definition is, the ability to judge well. How do we regain, strengthen this ability to discern well so that we may act well?

According to the Bhagavad Gita, our power of discernment is connected to Yoga. Yoga is deemed to be philosophy in action. Yoga comes from clarity and our power of discernment. Discernment is that which leads to a completely volitional and dynamic, action based participation in our life! There seems to be little doubt of the influence that discernment can wield in our lives. So, how do we we regain it?

The first step to regain discernment is to be willing to first acknowledge that we may have lost it in certain areas of our lives. Then, we can look at our actions and habits, and separate the ones that meet the ‘dynamic participation’ criteria from the ones that don’t. Next, we decide to give more fuel, more energy to those actions that elevate us from within. After regular practice, we may find that our dynamic, volitional, life-elevating actions, a habitable home in our heart.

With positive feedback from our heart, our discernment shall grow. We may then find ourselves becoming aware of “holding on” with discernment rather than focusing on “letting go”. We find ourselves “holding on” to actions fueled by joy, love, light, delight, lightness, lightedness, delightnedness and more.

Discernment empowers us to put philosophy in action. We beome practitioners of Yoga!

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. We invite you to join us to discuss ‘The Power of Spiritual Discernment’ – Sunday, January 28th 2018 at 9amET/2pmUTC on twitter. Namaste, and thank you! -Kumud.

The bee hovers, uses discernment to be a dynamic action based participant in life!

On Freedom and Reality

Tags

freedom, reality, spiritual practice

Just like that, it is the first of July and we step into the second half of the year. Time has an unerring way of bringing us face to face with reality – however we may define reality. In the USA, the onset of July brings us a celebration of “Independence Day”, and our kindred neighbors to the north in Canada celebrate “Victoria Day” (Happy 150th, Canada!). On these occasions, it is natural for many of us to reflect upon our personal freedoms, and the practical realities of said freedom(s) in our daily lives and actions.

As long as we do not live alone on a deserted island, the reality is that our friends, families and communities affect our daily freedoms, and their exercise of it. This effect manifests in the decisions that we make when we live in a civil society. In order to add value to their lives, and often for greater good, we often accept the reality that our personal freedom of external action may not be absolute. It is relatively easy to make declarations of our Independence, but we need energy and commitment to fight for “Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness”. Commitment conveys our declarations from mere intellect to reality, frees us to take action.

It takes even greater energy and commitment to preserve our freedom. The freedoms gained also need a constitution – a governing agreement among people – for their preservation, in order to “secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity”. In order to anchor themselves to reality, and recalibrate their freedom(s), organizations, communities, families and even individuals, may establish constitutions. From these frameworks can emerge the governing principles of our live, the values that fuel our actions, and measures of our personal growth.

For most of us, the demands of living in the external world subject us to space and time. Even as I write this, there are small decisions that I need to make over the next few hours that will affect what I and my family will do this weekend. These small decisions aren’t made in a vaccuum, and a give and take of personal freedom(s) of all family members is necessary in order to maintain a dynamic family harmony. Does this reality sound familiar to you?

So, where does true freedom, if it exists, exist? For the most part, our external world seems to be devoid of it. We can intellectually read about and even talk about ‘freedom from fear’ and such related things, but how much of our daily decisions are informed by fear? And how about our internal world? Is it possible that unfettered freedom exists within us? If so, have you experienced the reality of inner freedom for yourself?

As I develop my daily practice of meditation, there are occasions where I find disconnection from the transient and (re)connection with the permanent. While the state of reconnection with the permanent is often fleeting in itself, it is the closest that I have perhaps ever felt to true freedom. Even though the reconnection is fleeting, it brings one great Joy to realize that true inner freedom is indeed an experiential reality. How about you? What have your experiences of ‘real freedom’ – external or internal – been like? How do ‘reality’ affect the exercise of your personal freedom(s)?

I invite you to visit with us in #SpiritChat on Sunday, July 2nd at 9amET/1pmUTC on twitter, as we share and celebrate freedom and reality. I will bring some real questions and virtual cookies and sparklers. You are free to bring whatever you wish to share.

Namaste,

Kumud @AjmaniK

A new experience of freedom this week, as I discovered a new reservation with unexplored trails and bridges…

On Spiritual Transformation

Tags

change, spiritual practice, spirtuality, transformation

Transformation is a BIG word. It seems to create a vision of a big mountain that we may need to climb. And we may wonder if we have the energy to do so. Particularly when we are already exhausted by the various demands of life. In addition, we have a natural inner resistance to change, particularly if it requires work for which we do not seem to have time, space and energy.

And yet, in some ways, inner transformation can be easier than change. For the work of transformation need not be work in the traditional sense of the world. It may require us to simply be in the in the field of love of someone who is doing the transforming, in the space of those who are being transformed before our own very eyes.

If it is raining outside, and we see the flowers and the grasses and the leaves on the trees getting wet, dancing in the rain, we have a choice. We can shut the window, pull the curtains, and remain dry and safe within the home. Or, we can open the window, let the wind blow some rain in, and wet us a little bit as we cup our hands around a warm beverage. Or, we can decide to experience loving power of the rain for ourselves.

We fling open the patio door, and go stand in the middle of the field and let it rain love upon us. And as the rain and the tears intermingle, and we feel pure joy surge through us, we now know the reason for the silence of those who were being transformed before our very own eyes. Now, we too are transformed by experiencing some of the surrender to love that we were only witnesses to until that point where we ourselves decided to surrender.

We did not get changed. We got transformed by the power love. It is like the story about the seeker who is seeking the trasure in the dark forest with a small oil lamp under a cloudy sky. They are earnestly working, seeking and doing what they know is best, looking under one tree at a time. And then, a flash of lightning illuminates the entire forest, transforming the landscape so that they can see and experience the entire forest at once. Such is the power of transformation.

And I hope you have experienced it, or get to experience it in the company of one like Amma, in whose rain of love I was fortunate to stand for nine straight hours on Friday. The transformation that I saw in the people at the Unity Center, whom she individually blessed with her energy in all those hours – one by one, listening, hugging, responding, wiping their tears, and bidding adieu with hershey’s kisses – was an experience that my heart will rarely forget.

On one occasion, her words to me were, simple, direct and transformative: “I love you, Kumudson”.

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. Join us Sunday, June 11th at 9amET/1pmUTC and share some of your experiences of change, of transformation, of love, and of surrender. I will bring tea, cookies and some questions with love. You bring some answers. Namaste 🙂

On Remembrance – Do You Remember?

Tags

remembrance, spiritual practice, spirituality

The topic of the first of two lectures that our local team hosted with our invited speaker on Mother’s Day weekend a few weeks agao was – “Do you Remember?” Swami Tyagananda posed this question in a spiritual context, and led us on a conversational journey that explored “what do we rememeber”, “what do we forget”, “why do we forget” and “how do we strengthen our memory” so that we may remember That which is most important to us. On this “Memorial Day” weekend in the USA, it is perhaps appropriate to share some notes from that lecture – “Do You Remember?”

Many of us our aware of the functioning of our mind, and we often use the phrase “peace of mind” to denote or long for a state that our spiritual practice(s) may lead us towards. However, many of us may not be aware that the mind is the entry point where forgetfulness begins. If we adults try and remember our earliest memories, we can perhaps recall very few from our first five, seven or even ten years of life. The older we became, the more ‘engaged’ we became with the world around us, the more susceptible we became to the influence and the ‘dust of the world’. As we moved in and out of different physical surroundings (schools, localities, jobs and more), the content and complexity of the dust we accumulated kept changing, and often increased.

So here we are today, trying to “remember”, trying to “seek”, who we truly are – beyond what our mind is trying to inform us about us. We are trying to peel back the layers of our “personality”, get beneath our own “skin”, and hope to wash away some of the accumulated dust of forgetfulness. And when we do take the time to pause, to remember who we truly are, we have an opportunity to rediscover purpose. Remembrance of our truth can happen in a flash of insight, but it often may takes years of practice, of retraining our minds, to get to that point.

What may this practice be? The Swami suggested that it may be as simple as taking a few minutes at the beginning and the end of every day to sit, reflect, introspect. Silence helps us strengthen our spiritual memory. So does “food” that is healthy, nutritious and pure. We pay so much attention these days to our physical “food” intake, but do we pause to consider what we are feeding our minds? How much of our “inner peace” are we trading to be “better informed”? And is all that mental clutter not going to weaken our power of remembrance as we overload our capacity to remember so many diverse, transient pieces of information?

In summary, the big question is – how do we keep strengthen our memory muscles so that we can move from instances of momentary remembrance to a state of constant remembrance of truth? And what is this truth anyway? For me, it is the remembrance that I am a being made of love, from love, as evidenced by the eternal flame that glows steadily in my heart. How about you? What “Do YOU Remember”?

Kumud @AjmaniK

I invite you to join our weekly chat on Sunday May 28th, 2017 with the #SpiritChat community on twitter. We will exchange some good memories, and share memory-strengthening practices. I will remember to bring some questions. Remember to bring some answers! Namaste.

Flowers and Rain Strengthen Remembrance…

Keeper Of Our Stories

Tags

mothers, mothersday, spiritual practice, stories

Swami Tyagananda, the head monk of the Vedanta Society of Boston was our invited guest speaker for the third Foundation Day celebration of the Vedanta Society of Cleveland this weekend. His two lectures were titled “Do you remember?” (Friday) and “Keeper of our Stories” (Saturday). While I will share more about the ‘remembrance’ lecture at a later date, I will share a few thoughts on today’s talk.

In most cases, if we want to truly learn about the childhood of a friend or family member, it is best to ask their mother(s), yes? The mother is one individual who is a natural ‘keeper of our stories’. Their memory bank is full of our stumbles, our successes, our natural preferences our aptitudes, and much more. And they have a plethora of stories connected with the many phases of our life.

It is not necessary that the mother, the ‘keeper of stories’, be the birth mother. Indeed, in many cases, this is not the case. In many cases, the ‘keeper’ may initially be the birth mother, but then transition to a different ‘mother’ or even a ‘father’ at some stage in our lives. If were are truly fortunate, there may even be multiple ‘story keepers’ of our lives.

What may be important for our mental and spiritual health is to ask the ‘keeper’, at some stage in our lives, to tell us our own stories. It can create many wonderful moments of awareness, growth and add depth to relationships. Story-telling and listening can begin with as simple a question as – tell me a story about when I was in middle school? Do it sooner than later, because once the keeper’s gone, the stories will go with them…

There comes a stage in our lives when we, the children, have an opportunity to become ‘keepers of our parents stories’. A decade ago, on a trip to India, I happened to ‘interview’ my mother’s mother about the stories of her childhood, and my mother’s childhood. Grandma was a wonderful story-teller! As a result, that forty-five minute video has become one of the most cherished records in the family vault.

When our parents enter their second childhood, we have yet another opportunity to become ‘story keepers’. It gives us an opportunity to wonder – what were our mothers (or fathers) really like as children? How much do we know about their dreams, fears, best friends, food and clothing preferences when they were in kindergarten? In middle school? In high school? And so on…

The Swami extended a dual invitation to us today – to learn about our stories from those who keep them for us, and to become the keeper of stories of those who once kept ours. I share that invitation with you. Share some stories. Be a keeper and a giver. It’s a great way to celebrate life.

Kumud @AjmaniK

Join our weekly twitter chat held Sunday May 14th, 2017 with the #SpiritChat community. Bring your stories to share about your childhood, and the ones who kept them. Namaste.

The Keeper of (my) Stories…

The Spirit of Synthesis

Tags

spiritual practice, spirituality, synthesis, unity

The rain of the past two days is taking a breather. I hear the steady, rhythmic beat of water as it drip off of the roof on to the ground. An orange breasted blackbird comes and perches on the wooden stake that is holding up the silt barrier which prevents the backyard from washing into the culvert which leads to the lake.

The father goose is taking his morning swim in the lake as he tries to mark his territory on the waves created by the gusts of wind. There is a stillness of anticipation among the tall trees that are so thick with young leaves that one cannot see more than a dozen rows deep into the forest that is hundreds of feet deep.

It is amazing and often mind-boggling when I think about the amount of energy it must take nature and natural systems to emerge, to transition, to synthesize a lively spring from the apparent deep sleep of winter. I often wonder if such synthesis would be possible, or how it would be affected, if there were widespread conflicts within the natural system itself.

If nature were to be constantly expending energy to be at war with, and within itself, would such a magical transformation and synthesis be able to bring forth such breathtaking beauty with such alacrity and timeliness?

There comes a time in our inner walk when we realize that there may be no more time and energy for us to fritter away. We may begin to ask ourselves about the best way(s) to invest our valuable creative energy and life force.

Are we being drained by being at war within and without? Are we overly invested in idle musings and intellectual gymnastics? Are we going to act now to inculcate the spirit of synthesis within and focus on our walk? Are we ready to put our best and most creative high-quality energy into putting the “P” into our daily practice(s)?

When winter’s work is over, and spring is imminent, there is rarely any force that can stop the energy transformation to support the spirit of synthesis of new life. As humans, we can choose to transform. Better yet, we have an advantage over nature.

We get to choose when our winter is over.

We get to choose our own inner path towards a common heart center.

We get to choose to walk in a spirit of synthesis, to create channels that energize empathy and compassion.

The seeds were planted in us a long time ago. We are perennials. We get to choose when it is time for us to bloom.

Kumud @AjmaniK

Join our weekly twitter chat held Sunday May 7th, 2017 with the #SpiritChat community. We will explore the spirit of synthesis which often brings us together… Namaste.

There is one height of truth and there are those who approach from all sides, as many sides as there are radii in a circle, that is to say, by routes of an infinite variety. Let us work, then, with all our strength to arrive at this light of Truth which unites us all. – Leo Tolstoy

The Spirit of Synthesis… emergence of NEW life on the forest floor and the tall trees – as far as the eye can see!

Emerging into New Beginnings

Tags

beginnings, endings, spiritual practice, spirituality

As we formally welcomed spring into the Northern Hemisphere with the vernal Equinox, it was natural to think about “New Beginnings”. The blank canvas that every change in season brings with its onset is particularly pronounced for me at this time of the year. It is an opportunity to evaluate progress over the first quarter of the year in several different areas of my life. How about you? How does the seasonal transition affect you?

Of course, one need not wait for an Equinox or any other celestial event in order to make a decision to make a new beginning. How often have we all used the ‘it isn’t the right timing’ excuse to defend our attachment to the status quo? How are we to discover our beauty as butterflies if we remain reluctant to get out of our comfort-zone cocoons? A famous person once said, “well begun is half done…” – what more incentive do we need to simply begin?

If I look back at some of the most significant ‘new beginnings’ in my life, most of them were a results of ‘in the moment’ decisions. This is not to say that they were a results of impulse decisions or borne of impulsivity. When the universe asks us a big enough question, it provides the answer within the question because it knows that we are ready. We simply need to be aware, be present, and muster the courage to choose. Ten years will go by whether we choose to emerge from our cocoons or not. We might as well pump the blood into our wings and learn to fly – don’t you think?

Yes, it can be daunting, exhausting and nerve-wracking in many ways to navigate a new path. In the company of our advisors, our loved ones, our mentors and our supporting communities, we need not navigate the new path alone. One of the biggest choices that we may have to make is to be willing to ask for help so that we can let others share in the joy of our new beginning. People are waiting to come out of the woodwork to help us if we will just make a call or send out a message. Try it. Make a new beginning. Not everything in life needs to be transactional in nature.

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. This brief post was written for our weekly twitter chat held Sunday March 26th, 2017 with the #SpiritChat community. It followed a week full of new beginnings in many ways for me and my family, and a time of renewal for a few of my fading friendships and relationships…