The Heart’s Unknowns

Tags

collaboration, heartmonth, mathematics, uncertainty, unknown

To say that I have a particular affinity, if not an outright life-long love-affair with Mathematics, would not be too far from the truth. And yet it didn’t always used to be that way. I think it was my fourth or fifth grade Math teacher, a fire-cracker of a lady named Mrs. Das, who lit the spark within me. She had such a passion and energy for the subject that I still remember the spark in her eyes all these decades later. 

Once a week, my daughter brings home a “problem of the week” (POW)  as part of her ‘honors geometry’ homework. Their teacher encourages them to work the POW with a parent ‘at the dinner table’. I think it’s a brilliant idea as it encourages parent-teenager conversation and collaboration. It also gives me an opportunity to find out how much of my middle-school math I actually remember! More often than not, we sink our teeth into the POW by transforming it into equations consisting of unknowns like x’s, y’s, and if absolutely necessary, even z’s.

Once the transformation is complete, it’s time to solve for the unknowns. Yay. Algebra. The first question we ask is if we have at least as many equations as there are unknowns. Why do we ask this question? If we have more unknowns than equations, we are stuck. No exact solution is possible unless we reformulate the equations and unknowns. This is akin to where our heart is looking for a solution to a life challenge, and yet the unknowns far exceed our own knowledge of the problem. Now what? 

In life, one step towards a solution would be to make some assumptions about the relationship between one or more of the unknowns. Say that we need to buy a new car or a house, choose a spot for our next vacation, help our kids decide which sport to play or which college to attend, and so on. From a financial perspective, one could assume that the choice of the  car would directly impact the choice of college. By creating this relationship between our choices, we eliminate an unknown. We can also reduce unknowns in decision-making by evaluating our tolerance for risk-taking.

In some cases, our perceived risk of the unknowns is so great, that it binds our heart to insurmountable fear. What if we sign a mortgage on the house and our financial situation changes? What if we don’t like the new neighborhood or our neighbors? When fear takes over, it ensures that no amount of guidance or reframing of the challenge will get us closer to a solution. Fear can also make our decision for us by magnifying the risk of the hearts unknowns. 

In other cases, the risk may be low enough, and we may even have more than enough information to make a decision. And yet, there is a nagging unknown in our heart which is informed by our intuition, our past experience, or some higher guidance. Unlike the x’s and y’s of algebra and geometry, we are now engaged in the POW of life’s mathematics. We have two job offers in hand. They are both financially great for us, but the heart’s knowing leads us to the lower paying one with the low-stress lifestyle.

The heart’s knowing may thus lead to seemingly inexact or even irrational solutions. And that’s okay, because joy isn’t always found in finding the exact solution to the problem. Joy is in the simple sitting down at the kitchen counter and playing with the unknowns. Joy is in the knowing that there will soon be another opportunity to collaborate on life’s new POW with an open heart. 

Maybe it’s time to open our heart and re-kindle our love-affair with more unknowns — what does your heart think? 

Kumud

P.S. Join our weekly twitter chat, Sunday Feb 23 at 9amET in #SpiritChat – we will explore some new unknowns, and learn a bit more about life’s mathematics and may even attempt to solve a POW together. Of course, no group activity would be complete without tea and cookies…. Namaste – @AjmaniK

Bridges – old and new – can serve as invitations to explore the unknown – meditation is one such bridge…

It was a brilliant walk beyond that bridge…

Last autumn’s leaves, waiting for a new spring’s unknowns

On Stability and Uncertainty

Tags

spiritchat, spirituality, stability, uncertainty

Some of you may be familiar with my “walking” habit which often takes me into the local parkway and the various bridges, valleys and rivers. There is a kidney-shaped lagoon that I often walk by as part of my “figure eight” circuit – the inside track of the “kidney” forms part of the circuit. I have often looked to the forest on the other side of the lagoon and wondered about the view from that side of the water. My penchant for stability and ‘staying within my comfort zone’ of exploration had so far kept me away from the other side. But that changed in an unexpected way this week. I stepped onto the slippery slope of uncertainty…

The rest of this “essay” is an extract from my “walking journal”. It speaks to my perspective on stability and uncertainty, and the balance that we try so hard to create between them. But the balance does not remain for long. And we ourselves often proceed to subconsciously or overtly upset that very same balance in order to follow an unseen call of self-exploration. Read on.

The other side of the lagoon called to me today – even though I did not know of that when I pulled in and parked in the Lewis road riding area – I was going to walk my walked-before hill that ran along the west branch of the rocky river – and yet I found myself veering off to the right along the riding paddock along the tree line – and the adventure that was to unfold was remarkable as much as it was subtle in the making –

A walk along the trail high that found me at the edge of the lagoon a few hundred feet below – some portions of the small trail ran close enough to the edge to make your heart race a beat or two faster as the drop was almost vertical to the floor of the valley – and I walked on to the turnaround where the majestic tree stood backlit against the rising sun –

Somehow I could not shake the fact that I had discovered the other side of my frequently walked lagoon and yet I was so far away from her shore which lay at the bottom of the hill – maybe another day I will uncover the path down to it, I reasoned with myself. Stability.

And as I walked back on my return journey, I glanced down and saw a clearing – a plateau about halfway down the sweeping cliff – inviting me, tempting me to descend so that I could get some closer photos of the lagoon quickly turning bluer as the sun rose higher in the sky. Uncertainty.

Maybe, if I can make it down halfway, that will be a start for the next time when I can go all the way to the floor – I rationalized to myself. I chose a “path” where if I started sliding on my descent I would be able to grab on to some young tree trunks or at least some exposed tree roots…

Off the trail and onto the hill I stepped. Into uncertainty. The floor of the steep hill floor was soft yet firm enough – the consistency of a mixture of mulch and the underlying shale on which the trees seemed to flourish – and so, sideways I descended – like a goat finding his way, right shoulder towards the decline with my right foot perpendicular to the slope, leading the dance down the mountain…

Of course, once I got halfway down and caught my breath. I admired the bluer blue of the water below. Sure enough, there was another path revealed to me. It was clear that I could reach the base of the hill and the shore of the lagoon. Maybe next week, I thought. But I recalled that the forecast was for the weather to turn rainy and cold from here on out – this was probably going to be the last dry and warm day of the season and the hill would probably become unnavigable once the weather turned…

So, down I went towards the lagoon’s shore, discovering trees full of tiny redwings and burrows in the soft mulch – probably the practice grounds of the many baby chipmunks that scurried across the hillside… and as if in welcome, a few acorns fell from trees into the clear lagoon water, sounding like thunder laps as they struck the surface…
And the very geese that would scamper at my sight when they would see me walking the other shore were now swimming towards me… one of them swam by me as if I didn’t exist – and the other pair put up quite a show as they bathed and preened on a fallen log eight in front of me. I guess that they felt no threat from me or were shocked to see any human on this side of the lagoon – so, they simply ignored me 🙂

The ascent up the hill faced me now – I had figured on my way down that the ascent would be easier than the descent – but I was wrong. I had to get on my hands to grab the ground a few times to navigate up the steep, soft incline. Often, what I thought to be tree roots that I could grab for support turned out to be chewed up, hollowed out branches. More uncertainty. So, I decided to take a circular route up the hill instead of a straight-on ascent. An attempt at stability. This strategy worked well as I huffed and puffed my way up the second half… I guess I’m not in as good of shape as I think I am!

So, that’s my story of the other side of the lagoon on a beautiful autumn day where Mother Nature blessed me abundantly for letting go of my preconceived notion of what constitutes a ‘walking path’ and stability. I learnt that a little bit of faith in oneself backed by past experience and learned intuition can mitigate the risk and fear that one feels when stepping into the unexplored regions of uncertain yet familiar terrain.

The rewards for doing so are tough to describe in words – for how does one describe the sight of a backlit tree in all her glory and the multifarious views of leaves changing color and letting go when their work is deemed complete… they spend an apparent lifetime on the branches in stability, yet they are happy to let go as they are set free in their yielding to uncertainty.

What is your current (spiritual) story about uncertainty and stability? Is it an even balance? What gives you stability? What invites you to step into uncertainty? I invite you to share with us, Sunday October 9th 2016 in our weekly #SpiritChat conversation on twitter.

Namaste – from the other side of the lagoon,

Kumud @AjmaniK

P.S. Enjoyed this essay? Leave me a comment if you would like to see more of these… Thank you for reading!

Trail’s End – Backlit Tree

The Hill Invites me to the Lagoon Floor

The Other Side of the Lagoon

Spiritual Uncertainty and Unknowns

Tags

knowledge, spirituality, uncertainty, unknown

We often talk about the role of faith and truth in spirituality, and how they influence our daily practice. However, in the face of change, which is endemic to life, we are often subject to uncertainty about what lies ahead for us. While we may not like to be subject to uncertainty, we may want to think twice about living a life of absolute certainty…

For example, if you knew for certain exactly how long you were going to live, would you live your life the same way you live it right now? Or would you change the way you live? It may sound paradoxical but uncertainty can allow us to focus on the present moment – for there is no certainty about whether the next moment is even promised to anyone. In the face of uncertainty, we can be innovative about what we do with the present moment. We can bring all the awareness that our conscious nature will allow us, to influence and infuse the present moment with empathy, joy, and friendliness.

While some thrive and flourish in uncertainty, some of us let it sow the seeds of doubt and breed fear within us. Taken to the extreme, uncertainty can influence our emotions and (lack of) actions to such an extent that fear becomes our default operating mode. While a certain amount of fear can help us avoid life-threatening situations, we all know the disempowering feeling that excessive fear can create within our mind. So, we have to remain vigilant and aware that uncertainty does not cut off our access to courage and heart-based action.

Those of us who are cognizant of our spiritual journey through daily life, may have experienced the uncertainty brought about by our first-time experiences of the ‘unknown’. In trying out a new spiritual practice, in reading a new book, in listening to a new piece of music, or merely taking a walk in a new forest – we may come to a place of higher awareness which was unknown to us… The unknown can invoke uncertainty – what are we supposed to do with this new sliver of light? Is this new vista that lies spread before us on our spiritual path an invitation to more ‘unknowns’? Will we trust our ‘guides’ and move forward despite the risk of greater uncertainty? Or will we pause and maybe even retreat to our well worn paths which are informed by knowledge and the apparent promise of certainty?

In the seasons of change – of weddings and graduations, of end-of-school-year goodbyes and moves across towns or across states or countries, of children moving away and parents moving back in – uncertainties and unknowns are inevitable. Our faith, our courage, our truths, our values, our actions, our commitments, our intentions, our capacity for love, and a sense of humor, will determine our journey through the rock-strewn paths of life…

Regardless of the unknowns that we may experience, of that, I am certain. How about you?

Namaste,

Kumud

P.S. #SpiritChat convenes on twitter at 9amET/1pmUK/6:30pmIST on Sunday, June 7th 2015. Please join us!